We are human beings who often do things that hurt the ones we love the most. Many years ago I was released by the police from a relationship that was killing me. At the time, my daughters, in their mid teens, did not know where I was for the final 4 months of that relationship. Because of the darkness surrounding me, I wanted desperately to die and waited daily for him to make it come true. And then, the police drove up and took him away and I got the miracle of my life back.
Healing my broken spirit and heart was vital to creating space for my daughters, my family and friends to heal.
It has not always been a straight path, nor an easy path.
There have been times when I have wanted to run from the pain and regret, the sorrow and sadness at having hurt them so badly.
To run away would be a rejection of the miracle of getting my life back. It would be a betrayal greater than his abuse because I would be the one consciously choosing to turn away from the light. In those dark moments when I desperately want to turn my back on the present and return to the past I cannot change, I return once again to forgiveness.
It is my choice to live in the light. To forgive myself so that I can continue to create space for love to flow freely in today. In that space, I find myself breathing easily again, allowing compassion to flow and heal the still broken places I do not see within me and around me.
Healing is a constant journey of love and forgiveness, love and forgiveness. The ancient scripture of the Bhagavad Gita expresses it beautifully. “Curving back on myself I begin again and again.”
May we all continually curve back on ourselves to begin again and again in forgiveness and love as we find compassion and joy in our daily being.
May we all know we deserve to live in joy and love and peace. May we all have the courage to take the path, no matter where we are in the world, that begins with forgiveness of the things we do to harm each other and block ourselves from knowing love.
In the world around us, may we all allow the grace of forgiveness, so that we can create a world of possibility for love to flow freely between us and all around us.