How does avoidance strengthen fear?

Under stress I tend to slide into avoidance, spinning plates where hitting home runs cannot happen because I am too busy running around the bases trying to catch the balls I am constantly dropping.

It is a thoughtless, mindless movement I consciously think about not doing — and then catch myself doing, again and again as I run faster and faster to catch up to m yself.

Avoidance strengthens fear.

I am learning.

To avoid fear I must do the things I fear doing.

Otherwise, I’m thinking about what I fear more than what I’m doing — and living without being conscious of my doing is unhealthy for me.

Like most of us, I fear change. Yet, as a boss of mine long ago used to say, “Change is here to stay.”

I’m in this game of life for the long run. May as well embrace change and give up fearing it.

Avoidance builds resistance.

When I  acknowledge that my fear of change creates ripples of unease in my world, I let my fear push me out of avoidance into courage

Action strengthens courage.

Last week I took care of an issue that I needed to do for quite sometime. Bye bye avoidance. Score one for me.

This week, I’m meeting with someone I’ve avoided as I don’t have good news for them about something they wanted to do. Hello action!

These are ‘small things’ that have appeared large on my horizon, muddying up clear thinking, clouding my vision of possibility and creating a world of excuses I keep breathing into as I avoid taking care of business.

Making excuses weakens my integrity.

Clearing them up makes room for possibility to arise, for my forecast to be sunny. Clearing them up makes room for the universe to move in and support me in the big things I want to do to create more of what I want in my life.

Because, in my avoidance of clearing up small things (as they appear on my horizon – not after I’ve let them grow into mountains of resistance) I give the small things more mind-space. And with my mind full of the small things I am avoiding doing, I have little time or energy to breathe life into my dreams.

Avoidance undermines my dreams.

To live into the dreams of my life come true I must keep my vision clear, my thinking sharp and my perspective open.

I must avoid avoiding the things I fear doing!

Here’s to living today free of avoidance rising into fear.

Here’s to living my best life every day filled with action on making my dreams come true!

6 thoughts on “How does avoidance strengthen fear?

  1. If the focus is on what we fear, we think about fear. If we run from fear, we think about fear.

    If we focus on what we want, what we are working toward, in a ‘toward strategy’ we think about that, focus on that and have no time to waste on fear.

    We have nothing to fear but ‘thinking about fear’ so, fear not and you will not fear. Think toward what matters and you’ll be facing future, fun, fantastic results without the need to look over your shoulders at the fear you left behind.

    Easy peasy …

    Yes, platitudes. Yes, attitudes. We need them both.

    Liked by 1 person

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