O’ Canada. O’ Canada.

Your news is heavy. Tragic. It sits, restless, in my heart, stirring up grief and sorrow, fear and pain.

Unsettled in its presence, I yearn for those days gone by when thoughts of cars careening into crowds of people walking innocently along a sidewalk on a sunny spring day do not crash into my peace of mind.

I yearn for those days gone by when I did not fathom the darkness that could arise from the depths of our human despair yearning to destroy one another through acts, so horrific, I struggle to fathom how one man could do such a thing.

I do not understand these times, no matter how hard I struggle to make sense of unraveling the senselessness of rampaging along a city street where once I walked, long ago.

I do not know how to measure my feelings amidst the storm of fear and sadness that washes over me when I see the pictures, read the stories of innocent human lives lost to one man’s decision to drive into their springtime wanderings unbidden, unwanted, unseen.

O’ Canada. O’ Canada. Where are we going in this age of unreasonable acts that destroy lives at the intersection of here and now yearning for the there and then of not so long ago.

O’Canada. O’Canada. Death is a final act. To take a life you must have given up completely on your own life. Yet still, the one who did this lives, despite himself.

Will he carry the grief? The sorrow? The horror of knowing what he has done has irrevocably altered the path of
his victims, their families and friends?

Will he look back on what he did and cry out in despair? Will he feel the burden of his acts that lead to such devastation?

Will he mourn with the rest of his countrymen and women?

I mourn for thee O Canada. I mourn for our innocence lost. Our citizens gone. Our world changed.

I mourn for this man who in his darkness created a world of darkness all around.

I mourn and carry my grief, heavy, like a flag bearer marching to the beat of an unseen drummer. I hold my back straight. My head high. You will not bend me. You will not destroy me. I will not succumb to the fear you would embed within my heart. I will not give way to your terror.

Slowly, I walk searching for the way back to Love.

O’ Canada. O’ Canada.

I cry for the fallen and stand on guard for thee.

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My heart cries out in sorrow for the lives lost and the families who are missing their loved ones or sitting by the bedsides of those who were injured in yesterday’s devastating tragedy that began at Yonge and Finch in Toronto.

Globe and Mail article

CBC article