I am laughing at myself. Gently. But I am definitely finding myself amusing.
I am sitting in a room of 30+ women, gathered on this beautiful Sunday afternoon to plant seeds of Sisterhood. One of the facilitators takes us through a closed eye ‘womb-clearing’ process.
That’s when my inner laughter begins.
The womb is the seat of our creativity. Our power. Our essence, she tells us. Imagine…
All I can imagine is a big honkin’ concrete lid on top of my womb, keeping the whole friggin’ fecundity of my essence in check.
And in that imagining, my laughter takes hold.
Thirty years ago, after the birth of my second daughter, I had a tubal ligation. She was my fourth pregnancy, two of which had ended with ectopic ruptures (yup. That hurt). The final two resulted in C-section’s that brought the miracle of my daughters safely into this world.
I wasn’t supposed to be able to have children. My doctor suggested I might want to end at two. Not press my luck and all, he suggested. I agreed.
My ‘funny-line’ after that was, “This womb is closed.”
And that’s what brought the laughter on.
Imagine. Even though I was joking, the power of that phrase, “This womb is closed.”
If the womb represents the seat of my creativity, power, essence, then I have been inadvertently shutting it down, turning it off, putting the lid on it, ever since I spoke those words.
Aren’t I fascinating?
Don’t get me wrong. I am highly creative. Continually finding ways to express myself.
But… and there’s always that but getting in the way of my expression.
I also limit myself. I put a limit on how I set my creative expressions free in this world. Sometimes, I play a big dream and live it out as a footnote in the story of my life.
So, here’s the story today…
This womb is open for business.
Okay. Okay. Not the child-rearing kind of business of my younger years, but the fertile blossoming business of my creative expression having free reign to explode in living colour, all over the place.
Watch our world, this womb is open!
I had three ectopic pregnancies before ligating the only remaining tube. Before making the decision I was very concerned about what it would do to my creative energies. Perhaps because I was already tapped in and focused with high intent, I found the energy smoothly transitioned into a reserve for making creative babies — hundreds and hundreds of them. For the first time I understood the advantages of achieving Crone status!
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I love how you frame it Ana. ‘Making creative babies’ is such a powerful statement and an affirming way to see this new state of being. Thank you for sharing your story! Amazing isn’t how much alike we are without even knowing it! Much love and much creative baby creating! ❤
This post made me laugh to myself
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That’s a good thing! 🙂
Blessings to all. Namaste.