The art of standing in disagreement and being okay.

I struggle with disagreement. Struggle to hold space for all points of view to coexist on one common ground of possibility. To stand in openness and acknowledge, “I hear your position. This is my position.” And be okay with speaking my truth even when someone else is telling me their truth is the real truth.

Deep within my lizard brain, the little child within hears disagreement as criticism. And criticism means I’ve done something wrong. I’ve been bad. I don’t belong. I am the unwanted.

In that place, I smile with my mouth only and go quiet.

I don’t want to make waves. To be ‘the bad girl’.

I am learning.

Learning that it’s not ‘bad’ to hold a different point of view.

That it’s okay to hold my truth in equal light to someone else’s. That my point of view is relevant too. We all have the right to our own truth, our own beliefs and way of seeing the world.

It isn’t, I am wrong. You are right.

It’s that your position is valid. My position is valid. And just because there’s uncommon ground between us, it doesn’t mean one of us has to let go of our truth. It just means this place of disagreement is an opportunity to learn more about the differences between us and be okay in that space.

I am learning.

I am learning that the little child within is sometimes scared when the adult me finds herself in disagreement.

I’m learning to tell her, it’s okay. We’re okay. We don’t always have to agree. We do always need to be patient and kind. We are responsible in how we turn up. And when I turn up in grace, pay attention, speak my truth and stay unattached to the outcome, the little child within is not afraid.

I am learning to recognize myself in flight, because when I feel unsure, when I feel like I’m being attacked, I am a master of flight. And while flight is beautiful when it’s an eagle soaring on high, it’s not so comfortable for we earth-bound humans.

Flight means I’m running away. It means I am afraid to speak my truth. That I am letting go of my voice.

I am learning to ground myself in my truth where I create space for all the colours of the rainbow to shine bright, even when it’s not my kind of art.

The art is in learning to always be me, in every kind of way, in every kind of place.

I am learning that whether we agree or disagree, as long as I am patient and kind, as long as I do not let fear drive me into taking flight, I am okay with me.

There is an art to standing in disagreement without letting fear drive me away from being true to myself. That art comes alive when I am patient and kind with everyone, including myself. In that place, I can see the brilliant hues of truth shimmering in every point of view and be okay with the multi-faceted perspectives of everything and everyone.

What about you?

Are you comfortable with disagreement? Are you able to stand in your truth and allow others room to stand in theirs without feeling the need to make one right, the other wrong?

Where do you go in disagreement? How do you stand strong in your truth, giving voice to what you see while leaving room for other voices to be heard freely?



7 thoughts on “The art of standing in disagreement and being okay.

  1. This resonates so deeply with me. I find that I end up just not speaking, not expressing “this is my position.” But it does depend on who I am talking to. If there is open space, then it is easy to listen and share. But if the tension is there, quiet I remain. Interesting topic, thanks for opening it up for insights šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing your insights Raja. It is such a fascinating conversation. Yesterday, talking about this with a friend, I told her that one of the reasons I also stay silent is so that I don’t cry. When I am emotionally charged, tears often flow. And I do not want to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing their words have impacted me — ahhh, the ego is such a fragile, sensitive flower!

      Liked by 1 person

      • OMGoodness, that is so me, as well! I have tried hard to prevent the tears, but intense emotion is automatic tears. I haven’t found a way to lean into it, so I avoid it. Let’s see what comes through as a result of opening the conversation- I usually have breakthroughs once I stop hiding šŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This a wonderful post. As always, thank you Louise, for you being vulnerable, honest and for sharing your struggle and journey with us. This is one I will likely read again and again!šŸ˜Ž

    Liked by 1 person

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