It can be scary to think about ‘change’ in our lives. To think that maybe there is a ‘better’ way to do life than how we’re doing life now. Maybe… and then, our little critter brain leaps into the fray and pound us with its fear-driving insistence…. Change is scary. Change is too hard. It’s okay to live small. It’s okay to live in fear, anger, distrust, discontent. Nothing’s better out there anyway. Just give up.
In the critter-driven fears of not wanting to change, we rationalize our insistence to clinging to ways of being that hurt us with thoughts that only hold us back. Statements like — There’s no hope for me anyway, it’s just the way I am. I’m already doing my best so why bother? There’s nothing else I can do, I’ve tried everything to make this pain go away, nothing works. What if, this is as good as it gets?
If better is possible, is good good enough?
We are evolutionary beings in an evolutionary world. Change begins with the moment the seed of our birth is planted in the womb of our possibility. And change continues, every moment of every day — whether we want it to or not.
Why then, do we cling to not changing? Why does our resistance to look at what is, or isn’t working in our lives, increase when we are invited to see that all things, including ourselves, change, with or without our permission?
What is it we are clinging to?
For me, getting to a place where I was willing to acknowledge there are always new ways to ‘do me’ in the world, meant accepting that there were aspects of my way of living my life that were not working for me. Like, how not speaking up or standing up for what I believe in was giving me, and many around me whiplash. Or, acknowledging that I was not living true to my values and instead was behaving like a weather vane spinning in whichever way the wind blew me was really hindering my joyfulness every day.
One of the ‘truths’ I used to tell myself was “I’m doing my best.” Which would have been great if I’d tested or explored what my best was. Instead, clinging to the belief, “I’m doing my best,” kept me from seeing I hadn’t even touched the edges of the capacity of ‘my best’. My limiting beliefs of what I was capable of in this world kept me from seeing all that I was/am capable of in this world.
The reality is, those limiting beliefs still trip me up — they just don’t control me like they used to because when they appear like tiny speed bumps on my road, I change the words I use to describe them.
Awhile ago I caught myself saying,, “Change is hard.”
Hmmm, that’s interesting, I thought. I wonder where that thought live, I asked.
In my head, my heart responded.
“What if you change that thought?” I asked myself.
What if you simply choose to think and say, Change is always here. How I experience it is up to me. I can choose to see it as hard, or, I can choose to see it as an exciting adventure opening me up to a life of wonder and awe. What if…. as Louise Hay writes in, You Can Heal Your Life,, “It’s only a thought and a thought can be changed.”
What if… it’s your thinkin’ that’s stinkin’ and not your life?
What if… you could change your thoughts and change your life?
Think about it. What would be different in your world today if you stopped thinking about not changing and embraced the idea — You cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge?
What if… better is possible and all you need to do to experience it is to let go of your certainty there’s no possibility for change?
Change is hard, for everyone. But it seems to generally work out in the end.
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So true Mary.
WHAT IF … everything you have done in your life, up to now, was just the warm up – the preliminary preparation for what you are meant to do in life? What if the best is yet to come? What if the life you will lead is the next chapter, or the one after that?
WHAT IF … you did everything you fear doing? What if you tried things you’ve never dreamed of before?
WHAT IF …
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Ahhh…. So many what if’s! What’s cool is, it’s always our choice what I do with our what if’s. 🙂