We come into this world not knowing what it means to hope or dream. We have but two fears: the fear of ‘falling’ (of losing support) and the fear of loud noises (startle reflex). We are precious. Perfect. Divinely innocent.
The perfect family we deserve is human.
The perfect world we need to treasure our innocence and perfection is flawed.
We grow and learn ways to adapt, to cope, to make sense of the imperfect world into which we were born. And in our adaptations, we learn coping skills that seem to keep us safe, keep us breathing, keep us living.
And then, after what feels like a lifetime of living in the fear of feeling unsafe, the pain of not breathing deeply, the sadness of not living completely, one more thing attacks the protective walls we’ve constructed along the way and we can’t take it anymore.
We feel so alone. Has any other human ever felt this way? Why does everyone else seem to have it all together? What’s wrong with me?
Tired. Exhausted. Broken. We lock the door to the wall we’ve built around our heart and tuck the key away somewhere deep within our psyche. We take another step. It’s not a light one. It’s not joyful. But it’s another step.
We resign ourselves to the fact, this is just the way life is. We’re born. We live. We die. And along the way, life happens to us and the best thing we can do to keep ourselves safe is not remember where we hid the key to unlock the door to our heart. That way, no one can break our hearts or hurt us again.
We dry our tears, put a smile on our face and tell ourselves it’s just the way life is. We can’t change the past. We can’t see the future. There is only the heaviness, or the numbness, of today.
What if it could be different?
Last week, I had the gift of standing in a room with people choosing to awaken to the full possibilities and beauty of their lives. And as happens for me every time the Choices training finishes, I am in awe of the magnificence of our human condition and our capacity to shine.
As always, there were people in the training who had lives they’d lived with courage and strength for many years. Lives in which they’d built careers, known some success, achieved many goals. But somewhere inside, they still felt like something was missing. Perhaps it was their closest relationships didn’t feel all that close. Or maybe, their hearts were heavy with a loss. Whatever was going on in their world, within them there was a silent wish for more; perhaps a sense of belonging or connection with those they love that would give them peace of heart and mind or perhaps it was a wish to give up feeling like they had to control the world just to feel safe or find comfort within themselves.
Some were just starting out on their journey and already they felt like life was hitting them with adversity every step of the way.
Some had listened for so long to the voices in their heads telling them they were worthless, they believed they were. Why hope for anything better? Life was hopeless, but hey! It was better than the alternative. But sometimes, in the silence of their darkest fears, they would wonder… Was it?
Some felt broken. Some didn’t. Some were curious. Some were scared. Some might even have thought it was all a joke that would eventually make them the laughing stock of the room.
It doesn’t matter what they felt, what they’d done or achieved or acquired in their lives. What mattered most was that they were willing to risk taking a deep dive into themselves. Because, in the end, when we dive into ourselves there is only one truth we will find.
We are each incredibly beautiful, magnificent, precious, unique.
We are each worthy of joy, peace, kindness, happiness, Love.
May you live today, and everyday, knowing you are worthy. You are Beautiful. You are Love.