“Smoke rises. Tears fall. Hearts break.
Doors open. Time passes.
Love will never let you down.”
The words drifted into my mind as effortlessly as the smoke rising from the incense stick burning on my desk in the corner of my studio.
When I was a young girl in my teens, I loved a boy with all my heart.
He broke it.
And then, I met another boy and I broke his.
I kept falling in and out of breaking hearts and feeling like mine was broken until I learned to not fear my brokenness but to celebrate and cherish every crack and scar of time. To dance with the light that did get through and to illuminate the dark corners with Love.
As Leonard Cohen so famously sang, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
I used to think that to know love, to be in love, to have love, I had to have a perfect heart and be perfect in all my expressions of this thing called ‘being in love’.
I thought I had to ‘win’ another’s heart by only showing the parts of my heart I thought were worth showing. I thought that to win someone’s love, I had to hide my cracks and scars.
Time and the constant breaking open of my heart has taught me that fearless love means loving my cracks unfilled and leaving my scars unpolished.
It means stepping joyfully and courageously into the dark corners of my fear I will never be enough and trusting that Love will never let me down.
And it never has — Let me down.
It’s just given me more cracks for the light to get in and more scars to strengthen the weave and warp of my beautiful tapestry of life.
A broken heart is an open heart and an open heart is a loving heart.
May we all live with our hearts wide open, loving this beautiful, precious life in all its cracks and scars.