Always the muse visits and beckons me to answer the call of my wild heart beating to the rhythm of life.
Always, in the quiet spaces between one thought and the next,
between and within one breath in, one breath out, slowly, softly,
she visits and whispers sweet delicious delicacies into my body
urging me to rise up and dance.
Sometimes, I listen.
Sometimes, I turn my head another way, contort myself into some uncomfortable shape of disjointed affects that move me through my day pushing stubbornly against her flow.
This morning, I listened without resistance.
And as always, when I listen deeply to her whisperings, my inner urgings whisper back and I find myself right where I am, right where I need to be. Right in the heart of all that is wild and free about being alive right now, in this moment.
Unencumbered by my thoughts insisting I will find my answers in my thinking and doing, I let the muse have her way with me and find myself living breathlessly alive within the inexplicable nature and lightness of being, present.
We are living in challenging, and also amazing, times. We want answers. Solutions. A map. A clear line of sight to the future.
I watch the images of city streets around the globe, empty of the hustle and bustle of lives lived on the outside. I bear witness to the beauty of all that humankind has created in the echoing corridors of concrete towers rising up to the sky and paved roads stretching around the block and beyond and I am in awe of humanity’s creative nature.
I watch scenes of nature ripe with life moving gracefully across distant plains and verdant valleys and animals wandering streets of asphalt and waterfalls tumbling, full of clear water and skies unlittered by jetstreams passing and I am in awe of nature’s raw beauty.
There must be an answer in all of this that is happening, I tell myself. There must be a reason.
And then I laugh.
What if… the answer is in my being present within this moment, embodied within the rich, fecund soils full of the potency and poetry of life.
What if… the answers are in the questions that rise up, when I let go of thinking there must be an answer to ‘why’ this is happening and, instead, give myself over to the call of life urging me to let go of all I think I know and need to know to live my life.
In the freedom of letting go of my thoughts, I fall breathlessly in love with my life as it is, not as I want it to be in some unknown future.
Untethered from all I tell myself I need to know, I give into the call of life beckoning me to live with abandon in the beautiful, inexplicable, sacred preciousness of life unscripted by answers other than the truth — life is calling me to be kind, compassionate, loving.
This poem came from that place where I rose up, unaware there was any question about where I was standing. Or that, I was even seeking an answer to the question, Where am I?
I am here. Dancing.
I Am Not Lost
by Louise Gallagher
I will not walk in fear
of regretting unlived dreams
and words unwritten
of songs unsung
and steps not taken.
I will not live in fear
that the search
to find myself
will never be enough.
I am not lost.
I am here, right here
living in the wild,
of this moment
in the precious beauty
of my life.
In this moment
I come alive
to the ripe and juicy promises
of what is possible
when I let go
of seeking to find myself
and leap into the dance,
of the divinely sacred
juiciness of life.
In this moment
I fling my eyes
and arms wide open
my heartbeat quickens
my body bursts, wild and free
into the pulsating rhythms of life
pounding as I rise up
I am not lost
I am right here