The Big Mess.

My ‘new’ writing corner in the studio.

The ‘e’ on my keyboard sticks. Actually, the tile came off so I crazy-glued it back in place. It works, but requires extra ‘oomph’ to make the ‘e’ appear on the screen. (Unlike the other tiles, it’s a little wobbly.)

Sometimes, I don’t notice the ‘e’ hasn’t appeared until after I press ‘Send’ or print the page.

Like life. Sometimes I don’t notice what I’ve missed or mistakes I’ve made or things I’ve let go or left undone until something else happens and I realize where things have gone off the rails or need attention.

Like in my studio.

When I create, I make a mess.

Over the course of working on the altered book art journal, My Mother’s Prayers, my studio devolved into a big mess.

On the weekend, a girlfriend gave me some fabulous shelving (Thanks Tamz!) and I had no choice but to get busy reorganizing my studio.

My goal… to create both an airy and organized space that feels peaceful, inviting and calm. A place where everything has a place and I know that when I look in that place, what I’m expecting to find there will be in its place!

And that’s the piece about myself I hadn’t really noticed was missing. The honouring of my desire for ‘order’ and harmony in my creative space.

The fact is, the studio was getting so messy I was avoiding going in. Which isn’t all that logical as I know creating every day is good for my soul, my mind, my heart, my life, my world. Plus, I can’t ‘unmessy’ anything until I go in and do the work of unmessying it up!

Avoidance strengthens fear.

And my fear of the mess was getting bigger.

After I wrote my Someday Is Not A Day Of The Week post yesterday, I realized what I’ve been avoiding. The mess.

And that’s the thing. Messes don’t just go away on their own. They don’t magically disappear with the swish of a magician’s wand or the wiggle of an upturned nose and the sprinkle of a few incantations.

Like life, messes need tender care and loving attention in order to find their way back into balance, harmony, flow.

We all make messes in our life. Some big. Some small. And while part of our journey is to learn from our messes so that we don’t create them again and again, some messes go unnoticed until something happens to give us greater insight.

Like the sticking ‘e’ on my keyboard that requires extra attention when I type, the mess in my studio was interfering with my creative process.

It took a gift from a friend to kickstart getting things into place. In the process of reorganizing the space, I discovered how the mess on my worktable was a reflection of something that needs my constant tender care and loving attention for me to live my heart’s desire of a creative life.

Messes happen. Doesn’t matter the size. What matters most is whether or not we’re courageous enough to dive into the mess and do what it takes to allow in balance, harmony and flow.


10 thoughts on “The Big Mess.

  1. Let’s put a slightly different spin on your conundrum. Avoidance is a tad negative, let’s find an excuse type of approach. Try – procrastination – it really can be manipulated into making one feel good about the ultimate outcome – your new writing nook. When one procrastinates, one gives oneself the sensation of time needed to think things through. Et voilà, after considerable thinking has taken place thanks to procrastination, a solution comes to mind. And that TZ needed to clear things out obviously helped! Win-win for both.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Tee hee! I love your reframing of the situation.

      Though… there is an actual chemical/physiological response to avoidance — the dopamine that pops when you avoid something reinforces the notion — it feels good to avoid something, so when you go to do it the next time, that memory triggers and your mind says… Oh. It felt better to not do that. Unfortunately, every time you avoid, fear of doing increases due to the dopamine spike every time you don’t do it… 🙂

      LOL — I’ll stick with your idea. It feels great to have accomplished the task and now that the whole studio is organized, it feels amazing! And… I needed that extra time to consider how I wanted to set everything up! 🙂


  2. I think of it as a “clean slate”. I can not stand when my attic creative space is messy and cluttered. It makes me so much less creative. I’ve even been known to clean up in the middle of a project which might be counter productive.
    I also seriously wish my daughter could/would read this. Yes I could share it with her but then she would think I was imposing my standards on her. She is so overwhelmed by stuff that she just turns to totally ignoring it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hear you Bernie! I find I go so far and then it’s like this ball of anxiety starts pulsating within me and I have to do something about the mess! Doesn’t matter if I’m in the middle of the project (this altered book art journal is a big project – if I didn’t clean up during the process I wouldn’t find my work table!) 🙂

      And ah yes. I understand re your daughter. I struggle with sharing some things with mine for the very same reason! Hugs


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