There are moments when the exquisite beauty of this world catches me unaware stealing my breath away like a sunrise washing over my body falling into the deep abiding silence of awe consuming me as I stand witness to darkness turning into light.
And still, standing amidst those moments there is the ineffable darkness of man’s inexplicable nature, of cruelty and cowardice, of rabid words and violence that pierce my heart, breaking it into shattered shards of despair, blocking the light with its litany of sins perpetrated by man upon the innocent.
This morning and yesterday darkness collided with light. Tk’emlúps te Secwépemc. The site of a residential school where the remains of 215 children were found buried and left, unmarked, as those in power erased their names. They were never forgotten by their people who have carried the stories and faced the denial of those who knew the truth. 215 lives x generations to come of pain and suffering, loss and unacknowledged grief and trauma. A history denied by those who perpetrated it. A history still lived by those who have carried the burden of all that was done to save them, in the name of god.
I have few words. Only a poem that has fallen out of the darkness.
Does God Weep? by Louise Gallagher does god weep beneath the weight of the horrors done in his name? does he cry out in despair as his people do at the truth of 215 lives buried beneath the soil in the worship of his name? I do not know this god the one for whom so many innocents died and so many lives were destroyed because his name could not be tarnished by the likes of them until the likes of them looked more like us. I do not know how he carries the burden of all that was done for him when what was done for him was done to his children those precious gifts of life full of promise of untold stories that lay buried through the generations in unmarked graves hiding the truth of what was done in his name a truth that was always known by those who walked the lands of Tkemlups te Secwepemc . Did god nor man not see the truth of those innocent lives stolen and discarded like left over wine at the altar? I do not know if god weeps but I do weep for the inexplicable darkness of our human nature blocking out the light killing off our humanity until all that is left is a forensic accounting too late too late to save the lives of those left behind of those who followed the mothers and fathers the sisters and brothers the grandmothers and grandfathers aunts and uncles and cousins too many who have fallen beneath the burden of all that was lost and done in the name of god.