It’s not the choosing to be a vessel of Love that’s hard. It’s the ‘always’.
We’re human. And that makes us unpredictable, at times undependable and suspect to cloudy thinking and poor decision-making.
Like, when someone cuts you off or doesn’t allow you to merge, or worse yet, takes their own sweet time merging when you’re behind them and want to get going… Thoughts of being a vessel of love, of moving with grace through every moment, can evaporate in direct opposite proportion to the offending party’s speed, or lack thereof.
In fact, I’m often surprised how quickly I can fall into criticizing, complaining and condemning other drivers!
Or people who don’t clean up after their dog.
Or people who wear their masks below their nose.
Or people who stand too close in line.
You get the picture…
Perhaps if I lived in a cave, cut-off from all human contact… But I don’t. Which means, being a vessel of love has to include forgiving myself. A lot.
To balance the scales, in that forgiveness I must also remember to forgive the other, bless them. And me.
It goes like this…
Someone doesn’t let me merge, my mind immediately jumps to… “What a jerk!” (or worse).
My heart kicks into high gear and whispers gently and lovingly… “Bless them. Forgive me. Forgive them. Bless me.”
And I move on.
The speed at which this internal dialogue goes on is always dependent upon how balanced, centred and embodied in the present moment I am.
Sometimes, there’s a lag between my stinkin’ thinkin’ and the awareness that I’m not being a vessel of love.
Sometimes, my heart needs to prod my head a little to wake me up to my off-kilter presence.
As in, “Now that’s an interesting response to an irritant but not a criminal offense Louise. Something on your mind? Are you dancing with anger right now? Will this attitude get you more or less of what you want?”
Fact is, when I am moving through the world casting criticism, complaints and condemnation about like confetti, I am being my own worst problem and an irritant in the world.
Which is why forgiveness is so important. It awakens me to grace by moving me gently through the portal of acceptance into gratitude.
And, while I don’t often say, “Thank you for this reminder to wake up and be present”, the fact is, every time I act out, is an opportunity to come home to my heart in gratitude and Love.
The good thing is, each time I act out and forgive and bless myself and others, the distance between my acting out and staying true to myself gets shorter, And, with each time I act out and forgive and bless, I am strengthening my heart muscles and deepening my capacity to be a vessel of Love. Always.