
It is called The Wolf Moon. The first full moon of January.
I almost missed it.
Not the moon, but my favourite ‘under the light of the full moon’ thing to do – stand amongst the trees, throw back my head, lift up my chin towards the sky and howl.
Wrapped up in thoughts of my beloved’s slow (to me) recovery from pneumonia that landed him in hospital for the first 10 days of the year, my daughter, son-in-love, and grandchildren’s bout with Covid and a project deadline looming at work, thoughts of howling were far from my mind on Tuesday morning.
And then, as Beaumont the Sheepadoodle and I walked in the woods along the river in the icy-cold, frost-riddled morning of the day after the Wolf Moon rising, I saw it. There it hung, high above, a giant punched-out pale orb of eery white and beige and creamy light yellow in the pale blue sky.
Oblivious to its presence above, Beau sniffed and snuffled his way through snow-laden deadfall and dry winter grasses, following the scent of some unseen forest creature.
I stood in the early morning light, closed my eyes and breathed in the magic of it all.
The moon watched. I breathed.
Howl, a voice within whispered.
Another voice parried back, “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“No, seriously. Howl!”
“No way. People will think I’m weird.”
“Louise, there’s no one here. The park is empty. Howl.”
I really wanted to. Howl that is. But that self-conscious, I don’t want o stand out or make a fool of myself can be a strong advocate for taking the road most travelled sometimes. Especially it seems if the road less travelled includes howling at the moon. “You’re beyond the age of howling,” it hissed. “Beyond the age of reason for that matter!”
I wanted to shout back, “That’s because I’ve entered the age of unreason!”
I remain silent. What if someone hears me?
I walked a bit further. The moon followed me.
The cacophony of voices arguing the pros and cons of howling were becoming more than just an irritant. They were a clamouring, writhing claimant of my morning zen in the woods walk.
What would a woman in the age of unreason do? The voice of spirit asked.
I smiled. I stopped walking, glanced up at the moon, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and let out a tiny, wee, quiet howl.
I opened my eyes, the world looked the same. Beau was still sniffling and snuffling in the woods. The trees were still standing in silent witness, birds sung in the trees, the river flowed on and the moon hung still in the pale blue sky above.
And the park was still empty of other humans.
I took another breath. Deeper this time. Fuller.
I leaned my head back, stretched out my neck, jutted out my chin, opened my mouth and howled.
Aywhooooooo! Aywhooooo! Awhyoooooooooooooo!
And then I laughed.
Deep, loud, belly shaking laughs.
I did it again.
Aywhooooooo! Aywhooooo! Awhyoooooooooooooo!
I looked around. Beaumont, raised his head from sniffing a particularly fascinating piece of deadfall, cocked it sideways, looked at me for a moment, lowered it again and went back to his investigations.
And the trees kept standing, the river flowed on, the birds sang and the moon gazed down from above.
And I laughed again, threw my arms out wide and began to dance in the icy-cold, frost-riddled morning of the day after the Wolf Moon rising,
Because deep within me, I want to live the truth of my affirmation to live bravely. Dare Boldly. And howling and dancing beneath a Wolf Moon on a crisp winter morning is exactly what a woman in the Age of Unreason does.
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And then…. just as I sign off on this post, a song begins to play in the background. Normally, my morning writing music is without lyrics. For some, unknown, magical reason, one song with words has slipped into my playlist just as I’m about to press publish on this post.
How divine!
This post is also in response to Eugi at Eugi’s Causerie where the prompt this week is “Affirmations”.
Do go visit – there’s lots of good reading theree and who knows… you might be inspired to respond too with your written gems!