If this is your one life to live, what would you do differently today?
Just so you know, that was not the opening line I had intended to write when I sat down to create this morning – it is the one that appeared. And, as writing here is all about a continuous journey to learn how to ‘trust the process’, I lwrote it out and am now shifting from what I had intended to write about to exploring the question..
It’s a good question. What would you do differently if you embodied that truth? “This is your one life to live.”
I think at every age, my response would be different.
Off the top of my head, in my teens, I’m pretty certain I’d not have worried so much about trying to fit in and what my peers thought of me and spent more time asking myself if I like the person I’m becoming.
In my 20s, I’d have not moved back to Canada from Europe because of a boy. I’d have been more thoughtful of my next steps and, rather than just let life happen, I’d have spent more time meditating on ‘Who am I and want kind of human being do I want to be. What kind of life do I want to create?”
Yet, here’s the thing. While it’s fun to look back and ponder ‘what would I have done differently’, the fact is, I can’t change the past.
Today, asking myself the question, “What WILL I do differently today?” creates an open slate of opportunities and possibilities, along with a smile on my face!
The smile, because I recognize the trap in the question.
Think about it. To determine what to do differently, I have to be clear on what I’m judging as needing changing or releasing, along with the fact, if they need changing – I haven’t been doing anything about them!
Also, if I’ve got a whole slew of changes I want to enact in my life, every day I continue to do the things that don’t work for me, puts me further and further away from living (and aging) with grace.
Which… just so you know… was not what today’s column was going to be about when I recorded my video this morning!
Which… brings me back to something I’d like to do differently today.
Let it go.
Not worry about the creating of the videos and blog, and instead, allow them to be what I want them to be – my musings and rambling, discourse on aging in which others who feel inspired join in through their comments/feedback/questions or simply watching and reading.
So… while today’s video does not quite align with this post, I’m going to be okay with it’s disconnect.
Why? Because having spent a great deal of my life looking for ‘the connection’ in everything, I am choosing to simply be real, present and okay with what is.
I’m choosing to let it be as it is so that I can be as I am… Pondering the questions of aging, musing about the beauty, the hardships, the changes and the confusion I feel about this thing called, ‘getting older’.
Thanks for joining me. Your comments, likes, thoughts and ideas make a world of difference!
Much gratitude.
Dare Boldly 
LG
I like the poem, and the piece. I see it as a great message for many, but not universal – because I see ‘changes for me’, ‘new things for me’, and ‘not resting on my laurels’ as THE way for me.
I wonder, how feelings stack up among our ‘similar age peers’, between contentment and enjoyment with how things are, vis-a-vis, how things could be? And I wonder if there was a survey or poll, if there would a gender-divide? I suppose the underlying criteria for many might be help and life-expectancy. And by life-expectancy I don’t mean our best-before date but instead ‘what we expect of life and ourselves’? I thin it was Susan Sontag who observed there are two groups of people, ‘the well’ and ‘the unwell’. I could myself among the ‘well and holding’ with ‘much to do’.
Sorry for the lengthy note, but your piece this morning struck a chord, perhaps different for me than was intended for your readers, but one that triggered these thoughts.
Keep writing your series, please, you are stirring a pot that need stirring,
Mark
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Thank you so much Mark. Creating this series has ‘woke’ me. 🙂 I feel energized and inspired by my exploration and by everyone’s comments and support.
I’m grateful this piece struck a chord — it’s part of my mission!
And, I’m grateful for your company on this path. I think it’s the beauty of it — we get to travel together, each in our own individual, unique style!
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I don’t often ponder on what I would do differently because, as you said, it’s already done and we can’t go back there. However! If I could, I sure as shit would not move in with my boyfriend at 21 and waste the next five years going nowhere… Those prime years I could have been having fun and exploring and finding out who I was.
Of course, I call those years a lesson…
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Ah yes, those 21-year-old decisions! One day my friend we really must get together and drink a glass or two and share life adventures! Ohhhhh what a fabulous time we could have! 🙂 ❤
and Yup — Lessons! Every one of them. 🙂
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If we didn’t make those decisions… And yes, wouldn’t that be something. Something tells me we would have hours of subjects! 💞
Always look at them as lessons. No matter how painful or ridiculous…
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Your attitude is contagious! Opportunities to grow and learn are limitless! 🙂
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What a lovely thing to say!
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I love that idea you shared about how children are “growing and becoming” and then at some age we just are “aging”. That got me reflecting: I imagine each age group has a unique beauty, joy, and purpose and of course challenges. But I would like to be always becoming whatever fits my season – if that makes sense. Always changing and growing towards the goal that matches the time (with that goal changing as I age) – but never really “getting to” any of the goals. Hope that makes sense.
Loved all the reflection and encouragement from your video.
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YES! YES! YES! — let us all ‘be becoming’ as we continue to grow and evolve and change and embrace ourselves in love at every age. I too desire never to ‘get to’ any of the goals — and what you wrote makes beautiful sense. Thank you!
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❤️
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I liked the post it spoke to me
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I’m grateful it did JoAnne! ❤
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Nada, nothing, rien, niente, nichts,nic – ran out of languages, no Russian on my keyboard, to simply say I would not change anything in my past. It happened, I lived through it, probably learned a lesson or two or more, had a lot of fun but then there were moments of sadness, of sorrow but then that is LIFE.
I shall continue my journey as I see fit.
I shall enjoy moments of laughter, peace, quiet.
I shall endure times of sorrow, tears and even pain.
I shall not dwell on the past, on what could have been IF …
I shall enjoy friendship, companionship, love and joy.
I shall not allow others to dampen my spirits, hinder my growth.
I shall be me as I travel on my journey of aging with grace.
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My friend, you are wise and poetic, inspiring and grounding. You remind me always to be present, be open and be wild at heart.
Thank you!
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Here is my answer for today.
Nurture my curiosity, enjoy learning new things, play every day, learn from my yesterdays and live from love.
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If we just called it growing instead of growing up. Really we are still growing unless we chose not to. We are constantly trying and learning. Today I am harvesting beans on a toddler chair. My back and hip will be happier. I learnt that the hard way. A year ago I would have worked through the pain. So I am still growing. Change the mindset of the words and focus on the positives.
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