I am sitting at my desk. Later than normal morning for me. But it’s the week between Christmas and New Years. A week where time seeps gracefully into the back seat of life unfurling in that liminal space between one year’s ending and a new one being born.
A week to breathe and be present.
To ease into each day without checking off lists and rushing towards a deadline where that jolly ole’ big guy in a red suit comes swooshing down chimneys all over the world to the delight of little girls and boys.
That week when pundits offer up reflections of the year past, and gurus provide sublimely simple (yet hard to attain) counsel on how help even the most recalcitrant of acolytes can set and keep New Year’s resolutions.
Amidst the clamour and the clatter, the stillness and the spaces between, I sit at my desk contemplating the misty view outside my window while inside, the scent of the cinnamon candle I received for Christmas fills the air with sweet aroma.
In front of me, the journal I gifted myself for Christmas sits waiting. I have made a commitment to write in it once a day, 365 days, like in a row as DK would say, for the next year.
I began early. My gratitude list for 2022.
At the top, a reconnection with a young woman very close to my heart. Life happenings. A horrific tragedy. Misunderstandings. Moving far away all took a toll on this relationship.
In 2022, she reached out and we are once again connected.
This is what tops my gratitude list for 2022.
The loss of my dear friend Andrew is also there. Not his leaving this world, but his legacy of friendship, loyalty, love. They are at the top of my list.
My beloved too. It’s been a challenging year for his health in particular. We are moving through it all. Not always with grace. But we are doing our best. As my niece said to me on an early morning call this morning, “You have to give them A for effort. That’s what matters most.”
She’s right. Perfection is just a state of mind that keeps me seeking something I cannot have or achieve – which ultimately will always leave me feeling dissatisfied/disgruntled with my life!
The fact is, my beloved will seldom remember to put the toilet paper roll with the paper coming off the top — but he will always replace the empty one. And while I know that sounds petty on my part, it is letting go of my need to have it one way (ok My Way) that creates space for both of us to revel in the field of gratitude without needing perfection as our benchmark.
And reveling without expectation of reward or outcome opens the portal to living in life’s field of joy every day.
Hope your day is full of joy and wonder, awe and mystery.