I connect. I step away. I engage. I disengage. I flow. I hesitate.

I make myself busy. I waste time.

Guilt rises. I ignore it. The more I ignore it, the louder it gets.

I rush back in, like someone who’s just come out of a relationship looking to date again. Timid. Hesitant. Trepidatious.

And always, I step in. I step out. I flirt. I turn away. I rush in. I pull back. I dive in. I swim for the safety of the shores I know.

It is the constant ebb and flow of the rhythm of my dance with the muse.

She keeps flowing. I keep stepping in. Stepping out.

This weekend I had a plan that didn’t happen. Suddenly, I had wide-open time I hadn’t anticipated.

I cleaned up my office. Closed the door to my studio which opens onto it. Guilt rose. There is only one way to let it go — Face it. Embrace it. Breathe into it.

I opened the door – I like the light — stepped into the light and there she was.

The muse.

Flowing. Effortless. Present.

It is the way of the muse and my creativity. She is always there. It is always there. It’s just sometimes, I’m not listening nor heeding the call. Sometimes willfully. Sometimes, I’m engaged in other things. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone!

And yet, no matter how long I’ve been gone. No matter how disrespectful I’ve been of her offerings, the muse is always there.

I had unexpected wide-open spaces of time this weekend. I stepped into the flow and this is what appeared…