What’s Your North Star?

In Discovery Seminars, there are two core areas of our human condition participants focus on. Our “Automatic Negative Thoughts or ANTs as they’re (not so affectionately) called, and Self-Defeating Behaviours.

ANTs are those thoughts that pop into our brain without conscious effort on our part. Like when I forget where I put my glasses when they’re right on top of my head. The ANT that can accompany that realizaton goes something like, “How can you be so stupid?” or, “Oh Oh. Another Senior moment.”

The antitode to an ANT is to Stop. Breathe. Ask Yourself… “Is that true?”

I know I’m not stupid. I also know my glasses and I have had years-long relationship of misplacing one another. Has nothing to do with and everything to do with my habit of not paying attention to small details like, where did I put my glasses?

The challenge is, unchallenged, an ANT can lead to self-defeating behaviours that do not serve us well.

It has been a life-long journey of self-discovery identifying and challenging my ANTS and the self-defeating behaviours they lead me to engage in.

Because here’s the things. My ANTS will be different than yours, though some may be similar. And, the self-defeating behaviours they lead to? Well, the field is wide open on that one.

We humans are creative beings by nature. We can create a self-defeating behaviour to confirm an ANT’s presence on our path without qustionning the “What’s in it for me to treat myself so badly for a lie I tell myself about myself that I’ve never stopped to question?”

And that’s the thing about ANTs. Unchallenged, they take up permanent residence in our minds, jumping into the fray anytime we feel confused, scared, uncertain, timid… and a host of other emotions.

Often, the origin story for the ANT can be a childhood event/trauma that was too inexplicable for our child’s mind to comprehend, and so, we made up a story about us, because of the event, to help us make sense of something we didn’t understand or had never experienced before.

The mind is constantly making up stories about ‘us’ and the world around us. The younger the mind, the more the story can become a limiting belief.

Truth is the antidote to ANTs. Truth can, unfortunately, be hard to see or hear when the ANTs voice has been trampling over our confidence, self-esteem, self-belief, and the ALL of who we believe ourselves to be, for years.

Transforming ANTs and stopping our self-defeating games begins with awareness.

I never knew I had a limiting belief ANT that constantly said, “You do not matter.” until I began to question the why of some of my self-defeating behaviours.

Today, the ANT can still fire. And, because he’s a very sneaky and creative ANT he can morph himself into many disguises to hide his ill intentions. Vigilance is critical. Self-Love essential.

The fact is, when he fires, it is my responsibiity to Stop. Breathe. Question – and Take corrective action.

For me, that corrective action begins with stating my contract and purpose statement – something I’ve honed over the years through my work in the Discovery room and my own self-exploration and growing self-awareness.

I am a BRAVE woman inspiring hearts to break open in Love and Shine Bright!

That statement is in answer to the BIG question Discovery dives into every seminar — What do you want more of in your life?

For me, it began with identifying what I don’t want more of — self-doubt, self-criticism. Anger. Hurt. Pain, Fear… Which cleared the path to understanding, on a very deep, intimate level, what I want more of — I want to feel like I matter. I want to know, deep intimate Love with myself and another. I want to… make a difference. To create space for me, and others, to embrace the truth of who we truly are — magnificent beings of light and enegy on the journey of becoming the one’s we were born to be, and always were, until life happened and we forgot our magnificence.

My contract and purpose statement above is my Love antidote to the ANTs. It’s my shield, my Love barrier, my heart protector, my portal to doing the right thing, taking the next step, and ultimately, to always choose understanding over anger, hope over fear, possibiity over impossibility, compassion over judgement, Love over fear.

It is my North Star.

What do you do to stop your ANTs from limiting your capacity to live living in Love as your truly magnificent self?