Give Yourself a Pep Talk

This morning, as I sat down to write, my mind wandered through the things I’ve been doing to keep my commitment to finish the book I’m working on (or at least the first draft) by September 1.

I’ve kept my commitments to stay engaged with my process everyday.

That deserved a little “Atta Girl”ing. It also needed a bit of a ‘ole pep talk to ensure I didn’t listen to that hissing little whisper deep inside that likes to trip me up when I give myself positive re-enforcement (it’s the critter mind wanting to ‘keep me safe’ because the critter mind is programmed to listen to those childhood voices that tried to protect me in moments when I felt scared or uncertain or ‘less than’ or simply couldn’t make sense of the world around me.

Self-pep Talks are important. Not only do they help calm any doubts or re-direct the critter-voice that would have you believe keeping your commitments to yourself are not important, or that you may as well give up now because you’re going to quit pretty soon (i.e. You don’t finish anything), a self-pep talk is a powerful body/mind connection. It reminds us that our brain is not in control. We are.

As a child, I had many interests. One of them was staying in touch with my pen pals spread out all around the world. Even as a child I had a keen interest in how other people thought and lived that was different than me. So, I cultivated a cadre of penpals and stayed in touch with them regularly. This was long before the days of social media and cell phones so staying in touch meant exchanging hand written letters.

My brother, who was five years older than me and, as he liked to remind me, much wiser, often made fun of me and my penpals. I loved my brother but man, did he know how to bring me to earth with a resounding THUMP!

One of the oft repeated phrases was that I, “Grow Up!” According to my brother, penpals were for babies. Desprately wanting to get on with the business of growing up (not to mention stop his teasing), I let his words take root and quit writing my letters.

Which is why my self-pep talk today is so critical to my keeping my committment to keep working on this book as planned.

As a child, the message to “Grow Up” attached itself to the limiting belief, “You never finish anything, Louise.”

For many years, I made that lie my truth. Or at least, that’s what I constantly told myself, even in the face of ample evidence that I finished those things that were (are) important to me.

I wanted to become a ski instructor. I did.

I wanted to learn how to fly a plane. I did.

I wanted to be a published writer. I am.

I wanted to write a book. I did.

And the list goes on.

Yet, despite my lengthy list of things I’ve done and achieved, I still have this little voice inside that can see me as ‘a quitter’.

Which is why I use my self-peptalk as a reminder, “I got this! I’m worth keeping my commitments for.”

The voice is no longer strident and loud as it once was. I attribute its decline to making a commitment to pay attention to doing the things I know support and love me. The things that help me grow stronger in my commitment to choose always to live this one precious life in the power of Love.

And a self-pep talk is a beautiful way to say, I love me, just the way I am because Love is what I deserve. Forever and always.

What about you? Have you given yourself a pep talk lately? I hope so! They’re full of encouragement. Inspiration and Possibility! And why not? You deserve to live you best life free of doubt pulling you back from shining bright!

Shine On!

2 thoughts on “Give Yourself a Pep Talk

  1. LG, I endorse the pep-talk – you’ve given them to me, and I’ve tried to return the favour. Self-talk is valuable too.

    I’ll add a third log on that fire.

    Stupid criticism.

    I got a well-intentioned note from one of my readers yesterday; he sent it five times, with each note indicating he’d got some sort of notification on his computer so he was resending it so I would get it for sure.

    And, for sure, I got it.

    I think his computer must have a bullshipper-detector – that was the notice he was getting; because that’s what he was shipping.

    Yes, well-intended criticism – he somehow conflated two pieces from two different publications – as if that wrapping them together was some definition of me, of what was wrong with my writing in his judgement, and he went on to instruct me on how it could be made right. He wove in that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings, and slathered it with glue-infused bullship to hold it all together.

    But before I hit delete 5 times, I wrote a response.

    It’s sitting there in my draft file, to be sent later – or deleted.

    As I wrote that response, as I refuted his stupid-shite comments, I noticed something palpable; he was ‘instructing me’ in a way I’d seen before – it was ‘the worst boss,’ ‘my mother on her worst day,’ it was ‘a former client I despise,’ and more than anything it was a guy I know well – he’s a writer too, in my business, a father, a grandfather in fact we have so much in common: it was me.

    I saw ME in his critique, I saw ME in his manner and attitude, I saw ME in ME.

    I don’t know if this helps your current ‘not wanting to get stuck’ issue, but I share it because I’ve learned a great lesson this morning.

    For all the times I’ve given you feedback when I’ve been THAT GUY, I’m sorry; I realize now that if I’m going to help anyone bask a bit in the glow of their good work and to help them in any way, I should offer inspiring thoughts to build on what they do well, suggest how they can aim higher and straighter to achieve their goal.

    I look forward to seeing your next book, and the one after that, and so on.

    Cheers,
    Mark

    p.s. are you chatting with our mutual friend Lyn about your book? She’s been very helpful to me and to many others.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Mark, your apology is beautiful and I embrace your words whole-heartedly and with a smile on my face. We’ve both come a long way!

      Years ago, I learned a phrase to thank someone for advice’ or whatever you want to call it, that while I appreciate its intent, recognize as not really about me — or at least, not advice I need to accept. The phrase is: “thank you for caring enough to share.” And then I move on. this practice served me incredibly well when I was facilitating community engagement for housing in the homeless-serving sector. People always had lots to tell me about ‘what was wrong with the homeless’. I recognized that it was coming from their place of pain, fear, confusion — I don’t presume to know what was driving them other than a lack of understanding of what homelessness is and how it affects the human beings whose lives are decimated by it.
      In moving on, I didn’t have to carry their judgements and sometimes, in my being able to compassionately respond, they began to listen more to what was possible rather than see only what they saw as the dangers of the possibility of housing for persons with lived experience of homelessness in their community.

      and thank you re the book — I’m feeling strong. Committed. Focused. (I haven’t but I do intend to. Thanks!) ❤

      Like

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