Superheroes have one. So do major brands like TOMS, IBM, NIKE, and charity: water. And so do I – an origin story. But there was a time when mine wasn’t serving me well, so I changed it. My origin story.
Years ago, on a personal development retreat in the heart of British Columbia’s Valhalla mountain range, I found myself reflecting by a serene lake. It was there I realized that the origin story I had been telling about myself wasn’t just inadequate; it was harmful. In my narrative, I was the victim of my parents’ poor planning, an unwelcome disappointment born the wrong sex and on the wrong day. Although I often shared this story as a ‘funny anecdote,’ the truth was far from amusing. Each retelling was like picking at the scab of a deep, painful wound.
To heal, I needed to rewrite my origin story into one that celebrated my journey and supported my life’s path. I had to craft a narrative that I loved, for this story lived in my mind, sustained solely by my own recounting.
The significance of origin stories cannot be overstated. Look at any superhero or successful brand, and you’ll find their vision, mission, and values anchored in an origin story. This narrative is more than a backstory; it shapes their identity, highlights their strengths and weaknesses, and charts their destiny. Their origin story is not just a tale of the past; it’s a guiding force for all they do.
As we navigate the journey of our lives, the profound impact of our personal narratives cannot be overstated. Unlike fictional superheroes, our lives aren’t scripted with predetermined strengths, weaknesses, and destinies. This lack of a pre-written script is not a deficit but a remarkable opportunity. It’s our chance to author our beginnings, redefine our shaping forces, and understand the currents that have carried us to our present.
There was a time when my origin story was a narrative of sorrow, marked by disappointment and loss. It weighed me down. But with care and intention, I rewrote my story into one that echoes how cherished and valued I am in this world. This new narrative celebrates my existence, setting the stage for a life brimming with abundance, passion, and joy. It underpins my raison d’être and, in good times and in challenging times, it provides direction, purpose, and focus.
Your origin story is far more than a mere collection of past events. It’s the foundation upon which your current identity rests, a rich source of insights reflecting your deepest values, fears, and aspirations. Engaging with this narrative isn’t just about revisiting the past—it’s about reclaiming it. You’re seizing the pen that drafts your life story, acknowledging that every challenge, every joy, and every lesson has played a part in shaping the extraordinary person you are today.
Now, think about your origin story; the story you tell about the times and circumstances into which you entered this world. Does it elevate you? When you recount it, do you feel like a superhero in your own life? Does it inspire you to leap with joy and dance as if no one’s watching?
If not, what if.. you wrote your own origin story? What would it be?
Then, take the leap. Write it. Create the narrative that lifts you, that transforms you from a passive character in your life story to the hero you were always meant to be.
Dare Boldly 
A powerful response Mark, and very reflective of how much you have learned and are learning on this journey called life.
For me, the opportunity to create a ‘new life story’ one that reflected my desire for love, acceptance and belonging was a watershed moment. The stories we create and carry all live in our heads. Rather than repeat a story I knew was holding me down, transforming it into an origin story that spoke to how cherished, wanted and needed I am in this world — first by my parents when I was born (which is not what that original story said) and now by me and those who love me, was a powerful statement of self-actualization.
If I have the power to repeat the stories I’ve learned in the past that litter my mind then, I have the power to create a story that lifts me up so that my mind isn’t littered with stories that do not work for me! When I choose to do it — write a story of loving kindness and acceptance – I set myself free of memories that hold me back. 🙂
I agree with your boss btw — it is a harsh teacher. Our power is in choosing to take thosse lessons and create better by finding value in even the harshest lessons.
Thank you for this conversation Mark! And for being you.
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I was born of the wrong parents, at the wrong time, in the wrong place – or that is how it has felt at my junctures in my life. When a situation occurs, an ‘if I could only wave a magic wand moments’ when we wonder if we’d been born into a different family, a different ‘station in life’, a different place and been treated differently in our family – and with that magic wand I could choose my place in birth-order, and while I’m at it – height, weight, hair-colour …
But, would I have been happy in some time in history? Probably, unless I knew what life is like now, and in that case I’d probably want to born of good looking, wealthy, nurturing nordic stock on an estate in Maui now of in the future – to be nurtured in a safe, loving, cozy spot, stimulated by a circle of like-bred friends, younger siblings (once a first born, always a first born!), but would I be happy without a care in the world?
I think our orgins – much of which we might all want to change many parts of, we are BETTER because we do have a care in the world, we experience real-life stress, obstacles, threats and dangers. And we also encounter the experiences of others through their stories – just as I do often influence others, and as you do Louise when you tell and write your stories. Many of the health-scare, personal safety and dangerous behaviours we encounter make us stronger, and that strength is essential to thriving and for being of use to others.
I’ve wished for and wanted for many things, for wealth and power and privilege – but what I’ve gotten along the path, and far more valuable, are the times I struggled for work and reward, struggled for solutions to problems I’d never faced before, and even tougher, struggling for solutions to the same old problems because I didn’t learn my lesson the previous five times. And more that learning life’s lessons so we can lead a better life, we get to share those learning experiences, bruises, nearly-fatal mistakes with others so that they might avoid some of our perils.
A boss of mine once remarked in a meeting, after one of our group bragged that experience was the best teacher, “No, experience is the harshest teacher” which is reminiscinent of that great Jack Nicklaus quote about practice alone being the solution to excellence, when he said, “Practice doesn’t make perfect – practice makes permanent.” My point ~ is that our ability to live, survive and thrive is the product of overcoming obstacles, and working through difficulties. Those who do it best, do it consistently, are not rewarded in monetary terms as much as they are rewarded by the quality of their life and their sense of self – self-control, self-actualized, self-propelled!
Cheers,
Mark
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