It was an idyllic day. Sublimely so.
A decision to create a flower bed in the backyard. Hours of hard labour, a satisfying result and an afternoon to kick-back and relax under an umbrella, reading a spy novel, sipping lemonade, listening to bird-song and squirrel chatter.
I don’t often read novels. In fact, when I decided to sit back and R&R I pulled out one of my many ‘here’s how to change your life and mindset to get what you want in life’ kind of books and settled in on a comfy lawn chair to read. The heat, the words, the message blurred and I fell asleep in the shade of the lilac bush that sits at the edge of the deck. When I awoke, I looked at the list of other things I had to do, and decided, they weren’t getting done. I was going to indulge myself in sheer escapism literature and an afternoon of unscheduled time. Fortunately for me, C.C. loves spy novels and thrillers so there was an ample supply of them to choose from for my afternoon of indulgence.
yesterday, I chose to ‘do different’. I chose to not live to my schedule, to not fill my time with doing, doing, doing and simply let myself be.
At peace. At one. At ease with myself, my world and where I am in it.
Like the butterfly who spent countless minutes simply sipping at the nectar of a flower, I let myself sip gratefully at the unstructured time before me.
It was delicious! Delectable. Juicy.
Later, when a girlfriend came for dinner, we sat on the deck and laughed and shared and chatted about life. She is one of the most amazing people I know. Where once alcohol blurred her vision of who she was and what she deserved in life, Sobriety now graces her every action. She sees, hears, feels clearly what it means to be human.
I get so tired of people asking me, what am I going to do next,” she said as we cleared the dinner dishes and brought them inside from where we’d been eating on the deck. “I’ve decided. I’m not a human doing. I’m a human being.”
I spent a quiet afternoon being at peace with where I was at. Reading. Relaxing. Not really thinking about what needed to get done. Not thinking about what I was thinking about, and what I was going to do next or why or how I was going to get it all done. I simply sat back and didn’t think.
I dug into my human being and let myself be.
Now, where did I put that list. It’s Monday. I’ve got a lot to do and not enough time to do it all in.
Ahhh. How quickly I forget.
I am a human being. Doing is optional. What I do is my choice. How I do it is who I am.
And sometimes, to do my best, I need to give myself a break. Kick back and savour each moment as it passes by simply watching the birds and bees and butterflies busily doing their thing!