Dare boldly

A blog by Louise Gallagher

The Current and connecting.

17 Comments

Listen up!

I’m on CBC Radio’s The Current this morning.

National radio no less. 2.5 million listeners.

I was interviewed yesterday for a piece they’re doing on housing in Calgary after the flood. In particular, how it effects the homeless sector and those looking to find housing outside of the shelter.

It’s an issue.

Our vacancy rate for rental housing was hovering around 1.7 to 2.6% BEFORE the flood. Now, it’s close to zero. Nada. Nyet. Zip.

Last week, CBC’s Eyeopener program interviewed me on the issue. The Current liked the story and is running their own today. And I’m on it.

Cool.

The Current is my daughters favourite program. Mine too. When I get to hear it.

Being on it is kinda cool.

Which surprises me. Not the ‘being kinda cool’ part. The fact I care.

I usually do my blase, oh what? Oh TV? Yeah. Well. No big deal response.

There’s a documentary on the Oprah Network Devil in a Pinstripe Suit which is part of a series called The Devil You Know. It’s the story of the relationship that almost killed me. When I was working at the homeless shelter and it played I’d inevitably get a call-out from one of the clients as I walked through the main floor of the building. “Hey! I saw you on Oprah.”

Not Oprah. I’d reply. Just the network.

Same deal, they’d respond.

I’d laugh and say something like, not really, or, do you think so?

They’d inevitably want to talk about ‘the story’. Often, they were surprised to hear that I had gone through such a situation. “How’d you do it?” they’d ask. “How’d you go through that and come out so smiling?”

And I’d tell them my belief in Love. I’d tell them how that was just a 4 year 9 month period of my life, not the entirety of my life. I’d tell them how we all fall down. Staying down is what drains us, drags us under, kills us. Getting up is what makes the difference.

But how do you get up after something like that? they’d ask.

And I’d tell them how I believe in miracles. How the police walking in that day and arresting him was a miracle. And how I knew, even then, that I didn’t get that miracle to live in sorrow and regret. I got it to live in joy.

But don’t you want to kill the bazztard? How come you’re not angry?

Because anger doesn’t get me more of what I want in my life. Anger eats away at my peace of mind. It corrodes my happiness. It destroys my joy. I choose love. I choose forgiveness.

But how can you forgive him.

Because not to keeps me on the hook for the past. To not forgive him, me and anyone else keeps me from living my life on my terms.

But…

And that’s the other thing I did to heal, I’d interrupt and tell them. I kept my ‘but’ out of it. There is no ‘but’ in living. There’s only what’s going on for me right now.

And that’s the thing about being on a national program.

It starts the conversation. ย It opens up the opportunity to connect.

When I decided to take part in the documentary I asked my daughters if they too would be willing. The youngest was at University in The Netherlands and it was too far, and expensive for her to fly back. The producers flew Alexis in from Vancouver and together we told the story of those days.

What I learned?

The past is gone. Dead. Over.

When we allow ourselves to see it, to tell on it, with hearts of love, it no longer holds us in fear or anger or regret or anything else. It simply becomes, what was and is no more.

And it inspires others to know — no matter how dark and grim their situation, there is hope. And there are always miracles. Everywhere. We just have to open our eyes and hearts to see them.

I’m on The Current this morning.

It’s kinda cool because I really like where I am. I like working at the Homeless Foundation. I like knowing I make a difference and, I’m proud I’ve come so far from those dark days of hiding in a closest making plans on how to help him end my life so the misery of those days would be over.

I am proud and I am grateful. Grateful for this moment right now where I can breathe fully into my heart the joy and love and gratitude I feel to be alive. This moment right now where I am complete. At rest. In Love.

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Author: Louise Gallagher

I believe we each have the capacity to be the change we want to see in the world, to make a world of difference. I believe we are creative beings on the journey of our lifetimes. It's up to each of us to Live It Up and SHINE!

17 thoughts on “The Current and connecting.

  1. Funny, when you come in through the backdoor of someone’s life… such as her blog… you still realize that she is someone to be admired. But it is impressive to know all you have accomplished from your what some might view as a tragedy. Though it has made you a better mother… friend and even leader!
    My abuse lasted over 2 years but it has affected me my entire life there after. The baggage we carry without understanding! I say understanding because I realized that I was different because of it but I am just finally being able to grasp it all now at this age. My abuser came back into my life to apologize. I was able to say every script I’d ever had for him in all the years I’ve lived since. I started out by saying it didn’t matter, we were just kids… but we both found out together that it DID in fact matter and he has stood up to the details. Recalling the details together has been life changing and affirming. He is forgiven but nothing is forgotten. Because he hurt me and hurt just hurts. But in my experience I know where his hurt came from and thoguh I don’t excuse it…. There is something to be said about time and healing and perhaps gaining a little wisdom along the way.
    I actually think he thought that we had a future. I was in his words “The one who got away” well that’s never gonna happen!!! Because though I see he has changed. I would never live with him again.
    Besides I am married. And so just that little glitch that he seems to not GET shows there is much more work to do!!!!
    But it was nice to have a DO OVER so to speak… and be the one with all the power this time around.
    I didn’t even know if he was still alive when he found me. Imagine getting a chance to safely say every little thing you ever wanted to say to your abuser who changed your life forever.
    Funny thing about such a small percentage of your life being given so much power… I mean you figure I am in my 50s and he was only a part of those 50 years for about 3 of them. It has changed me by finally getting to go back and bring ME home!
    Your story has empowered women. I pray someday mine will too!
    Thank you for being you and for sharing your story!

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    • One of the things I’ve learned Diane is — it is not okay. It is not okay that someone abuse me. Abuse is not okay.

      Forgiveness is — it can’t erase what was, but it can remove the sting — and what you did was remove the sting and set yourself free — doesn’t matter how long ago it happened, that it impacted your still is what counts — and having that Do Over — wow! Good for you — speaks to your gracious, loving and forgiving heart that you were able to do it!

      Thank you for being you and all you share. And you are empowering women — you write and share and shine all over the place!

      Hugs

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  2. Congratulations. It’s always heartening to hear how you use your voice to speak on behalf of those so often given no voice.

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    • Thank you Maureen — you and I have been connected here almost from the beginning of my online presence — that’s over 7 years ago! And through it all, you have always inspired me with your capacity for speak up for artists, the arts, writers, and wonder in our world. Thanks for your inspiration!

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  3. L, well said and beautifuly written. Thank you for sharing your journey and positive well being. I truely believe we are given choices and challlegnes in life . we can reach out and help , share and forgive. Hang out with positive and wonderful people and love life each and ever day. HUGS Jennifer

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    • Thank you so much Jennifer for stopping by and visiting. How lovely to see you — I see what you have done, and are doing, to make a difference in the world — and I am in awe. Thank you for lighting the way. HUGS and love to you too. (I love being part of your family — even if we don’t see each other often — it is a joy to be amongst you!)

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  4. Yes we need to live in the present keep going back to the past is not healthy for any of us, put the past where it belongs behind us and move forward and congratulations on being on the radio

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  5. This post brings to mind that saying “What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger” I think you’re a true example of that and you continue to inspire people with your strength

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    • Thank you Fi — I think at the end of that quote they should say — as long as we find value in all things — because when we stay looking at the pain and sorrow and regret — it kills our spirit! ๐Ÿ™‚ Lovely to see you my friend.

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  6. “I didnโ€™t get that miracle to live in sorrow and regret. I got it to live in joy.” Your words resonate with me — just as the title of your blog draws me to it, every time.

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  7. Getting up is easier when there are friends like you to inspire and support me on my journey.
    Thanks for your continued positivity.
    It is so fantastic that you were on national radio. Congratulations ๐Ÿ™‚

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