I am full. Replete. Satiated.
My heart flows over with love and joy and contentment. My mind dances with thoughts and ideas and memories that warm my soul and enliven my being, present, complete, content.
I have just finished coaching another 5 day session at Choices.
Five days awash in the human journey, connecting, exploring, celebrating.
It is a happy place to be this morning and though I’m feeling tired, the tiredness pales in comparison to the joy that bubbles up within me.
I just received the gift of five days of being part of miracles unfolding before me. How could I not be happy?
On Wednesday at noon when the trainees walk into the room, I am always intrigued by the wooden, closed off, shut down aspects of our human condition on parade. How do we stray so far from the magnificence of our human being that we condemn ourselves to walk around believing we are not good enough? Undeserving? Unworthy?
What is it in being human that wants to destroy the beauty and magnificence of who we are? What is it that keeps us repeating, again and again, the mean-spirited, undermining things we say to ourselves to keep us playing small? To keep us from living our dreams?
There are many moments in Choices when my heart feels like it might break from the sheer weight of the sorrow and sadness I feel when I witness how dark the human journey has been for some people. How can anyone do those things to a child? How can we keep beating each other up? Tearing each other down? Ripping each other apart? How can we do that?
But we do. Do those things. We do, act those ways. We do, feel worthless. Unworthy. Undeserving.
We do. Tell ourselves, we don’t belong. We don’t fit in. We don’t deserve happiness, love, joy, laughter.
We do. Build walls. Close off our minds. Construct fortresses of self-protection around our hearts.
We do. Shut down.
It’s not that we mean to. Do those things. Any of them. Hurt another. Hurt ourselves. Shut off. Close out. Back away. Hide. Run. Freeze.
We do those things not to hurt anyone. We do them believing we are protecting ourselves. Keeping ourselves safe. And all the while, in our efforts to protect our hearts and keep our spirits alive no matter how tiny the flicker, we hurt ourselves more and more with every burst of anger, dance with depression, and all the other things we do to fend off our pain.
We build walls around our hearts and don protective armour. We act out in anger. We cut off the blood supply to our hearts to keep from feeling all the pain and sadness, fear and anxiety that we’ve hidden behind our self-deprecating laughter that hides our self- loathing, or the sadness that has driven us into depression. So many things we do because we are afraid that the lies we tell ourselves about our worthlessness are true.
They’re lies. And while they’ve been useful (in a very sad and limiting way) in helping us cope with day-to-day living, they’ve also played a part in driving us into the land of the walking, breathing dead.
Life is too short to believe in lies. To live it in a place where fear holds us back from stepping boldly and bravely into the light of knowing, seeing, being our magnificence.
Life is too precious to live it small. To give up on our dreams. To give into a false belief that what we’ve got is all we deserve. To tell ourselves there is no more for us we may as well settle for less.
Life is all we’ve got to live.
And because it is the all we’ve got to live, we must awaken. We must cast off the fear, the self-loathing, the anxiety and sadness we believe is our lot in life. We must cast it off and awaken to the beauty and wonder and awe of who we truly are, who we are meant to be.
We are magnificent beings of light and love and wonder. We are creative. Caring. Kind. Loving. We are human beings of untold gifts, of great wealth and beauty.
At Choices this past week, I got to experience human beings coming alive to the truth of who they truly are. What an amazing, wondrous and joyous journey it was.
And the best part? The journey isn’t over yet. It’s only just begun. Armed with new sets of glasses, the capacity to see the world differently through eyes of Love not fear, and a tool box full of new ways of being and doing this thing called our human condition, there are a whole bunch more people out in the world today living it up for all they’re worth.
How cool is that!
People living their lives for all their worth, doing it their way!