Dare boldly

A blog by Louise Gallagher

Surrender — the ultimate un-guide. Part 3. Mindgames and others fields of folly

12 Comments

surrender banner 1 copy

My ego sees the world in black and white.

It craves concreteness. Labels. Meaning.

It feels strongest firmly planted in right versus wrong. Yes versus no. It holds absoluteness close and clings to what it knows fearing what it doesn’t know will hurt me and thus it, or at least damage the status quo it exalts in.

My ego thinks it is all I am.

Surrendering my ego leaves me breathless. It leaves me feeling exposed. Vulnerable. At risk.

Or so my mind tells me.

You cannot let go of me it says. I am all you are. All you want. All you need to be safe navigating this big, scary, unpredictable and chaotic world.

My mind likes to scare me. It likes to use words that make me believe I know everything I need to know to get through this life unscathed, or at least with minimal damage to my ego self. And everything else is irrelevant so why search for soulful meaning when ego is all I need?

But what does my mind know? It knows only the past and bases its response to today on its evaluation and assessment of my history. It filters its assessments through risk/reward ratios that are measured by how safe, or unsafe, it felt in every past experience and its measurement of the likelihood of ‘that’, whatever that is, happening again.

My mind cannot tell the future, even though it likes to tell me it can. All it can do is make up stories about the future based on what it experienced in my past.

Which, when I stop and think about it, is kind of funny. The past only exists in my mind. So where does the future live?

My mind is a trickster.

It does not want to surrender. It does not want to even give up a toehold to the possibility of ‘different’. It’s much more comfortable holding onto ‘the same’. In believing what was then, is what is now. That way, it doesn’t have to change its mind about anything.

My mind doesn’t like changing itself. It only wants to hold on. To control. To what it knows and tells itself (thus me) is true. It likes to create the illusion of safety through its capacity to rationalize, label and measure my life in terms of what it dictates is right, wrong, true, false, possible, impossible, fact, fiction and all kinds of jazzy stuff it feeds me to make me feel what it knows, or so it thinks, is the best for me to do, think, feel, be, become, have, go… without upsetting the applecart that is!

My mind thinks it knows it all.

It likes clarity and calls it insight so I will believe I really am in control of me, myself and I and how I am in this world. It also kind of enjoys the contradictions of my being too. It wants me to keep searching for the answers to ‘Who am I?’ because in my quest for answers, it doesn’t have to give up anything of itself. It only has to keep me searching.

Pretty sweet gig.

Keep me guessing and I’ll keep searching forever which keeps the mindgames going and going and going…

I surrender.

At least, until my next thought about what it means to surrender, or not…

Yup. Definitely some sweet mindgames keeping me running in circles in fields of folly.

When my ego thinks I just might surrender and quit playing its game, it can get downright dirty!

And so, I begin again.

I surrender.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Author: Louise Gallagher

I believe we each have the capacity to be the change we want to see in the world, to make a world of difference. I believe we are creative beings on the journey of our lifetimes. It's up to each of us to Live It Up and SHINE!

12 thoughts on “Surrender — the ultimate un-guide. Part 3. Mindgames and others fields of folly

  1. ah yes grasshopper and fellow early riser

    the world of all possibilities contains absolute UN-certainty – nothing is for sure. And everything is possible …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for this. Struck a chord.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. One of your best Louise!

    The past is a the realm of our ego and our subconscious mind. The future is the realm of possibility, hopes and dreams as navigated by our conscious mind. The irony of it all is that things only happen in the present. Our fears can only manifest today if we let them. Likewise our opportunity to create new possibilities can only happen if we act on them now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Ian. “Our fears can only manifest today if we let them. Likewise our opportunity to create new possibilities can only happen if we act on them now.” That’s so powerful! Thank you! ❤

      Like

  4. When my mind gets into Know It All mode I look around at all I don’t know. How a wound will heal.. how cells know to replace themselves with similar cells (so I don’t have a toe growing out of my ear)… How seasons always come and alway go… how the sun rises every day… how clouds stay up in the sky… how my dogs know I am coming home when I am a mile away… how my husband knows to watch out for my inner critter, yet accepts it and loves me anyway…
    I realize I am not the controller of my world after all. I have already surrendered to it. 😉
    xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Man, can I relate to this post Louise! ❤
    Diana xo

    Liked by 1 person

This conversation needs your brilliance to shine. Please share your thoughts.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s