HOPE: The ultimate un-guide. There is always hope for common ground.

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Between the two sides of any disagreement is the hope of finding common ground. When we courageously allow space for both positions to co-exist, we create room for possibility of something different to arise.

Yesterday, while preparing for a meeting with someone who is deeply upset by circumstances in their life, one of my co-workers suggested that what we needed to do was find a way to honour both positions. A and B. Our job, my co-worker said, is not to judge who’s right or wrong, but to accept their  truth exists in both their perspectives. Now let’s find a way to support them so they can move beyond the pain of where they’re at.

Imagine if every disagreement had space for both sides to co-exist without needing to make one right, the other wrong.

Imagine if we stopped defending against differing opinions, and made room for both to breathe into the possibility of common ground.

So often, when faced with another opinion, a differing view, we become locked in holding onto our position for fear letting go will make us wrong, stupid, something other than right.

Would you rather be right than happy?

I felt it last night when C.C. and I were discussing a fairly banal subject only to get locked in opposite sides. Neither of us wanted to let go of our position. Neither of us wanted to admit defeat.

It wasn’t so much I wanted to be right, I just didn’t want to be wrong. 🙂

We easily dissolved the discord but sometimes, it’s not so easy to resolve opposing views when two people become locked in taking sides, hoping the other will cross-over or admit defeat or at least give up their position so the other doesn’t have to give up theirs.

What if we could hold both points of view in harmony? What if we could make space for both truths to co-exist without one being right, the other wrong?

The desire to be right destroys all hope of finding harmony.

 

With every aspect of life, when we allow all perspectives to co-exist within the same space, without judgement, condemnation or complaint, we create room for hope to also co-exist within conflict. Love to co-exist within fear. Peace within war.

When we find the courage to  let go of holding onto our differences and fall with grace into celebrating the differing points of view that make each of us unique, magnificent human beings, we create the possibility for common ground amidst the turmoil of living every day.

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12 thoughts on “HOPE: The ultimate un-guide. There is always hope for common ground.”

  1. It’s one of my favorite aspects of right speech. The idea that true communication can only be entered by people who are willing to be changed by the conversation. One of those easier said than done things …!? !? 🙂

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  2. Being right isn’t always right. I know what you’re saying here Louise. I hate being wrong too. What is about us that shuts down when we fear being wrong? Why don’t I immediately go to the ‘common ground’? ❤
    Diana xo

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    • I so often hear my victim’s voice in this moments Diana — that voice of — why do I always have to back down. Why can’t I be the right one for once? Why am I always the one who has to….. In my victim’s voice, I lose all sense of direction and forget about my truth! Hugs ❤

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  4. So true, Louise! It somehow relates back to us wanting to be in control. If we accept that someone else is right it automatically would seem we would be wrong…and then the ego freaks a little 😉 A close friend who is very successful in business and life has a philosophy that there is always a “win/win” solution or deal! I like the way your co-worker and my friend thinks 😉 Now, putting it all into practice…

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  5. being right has many virtues

    being authentic .. even more

    if I disagree with you about what you are saying or how you are saying it – that doesn’t mean I need to see you as disagreeable or to be disagreeable with you in return

    I think, more than our desire to be right, is our desire to be heard. Not to just be listened to, but to be heard with interest – and from that, methinks, understanding has half a chance of occurring …

    Cheers,

    Mark

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