Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.Rabindranath Tagore
I am talking with a friend about this word ‘faith’. About how I struggle to understand. To let go of my resistance. To move beyond the struggle.
He tells me about a conversation he had with a friend about Christianity. About his friend’s concern for his soul because my friend has told him he is not ‘a Christian’. That his faith is not based on a religious belief but on something less defined, less structured.
“I believe God is big enough to understand my faith is not expressed through doctrine,” he tells me.
Or at least, that’s what I remember him saying though I think I may have the exact words wrong.
Even knowing I may not be quoting him correctly, I have faith he will understand his words meant a lot to me.
I struggle with the leap into the unknown without a label.
It is the biggest leap I’ve ever taken.
To simply surrender my need for the label, to free fall as I am without having to define myself with words to explain who I am or where I am in my faith.
I believe the Universe holds me safe in its embrace, no matter what words I use to define my position.
“I discovered that it is necessary, absolutely necessary, to believe in nothing. That is, we have to believe in something which has no form and no color—something which exists before all forms and colors appear… No matter what god or doctrine you believe in, if you become attached to it, your belief will be based more or less on a self-centered idea.
~ Shunryu Suzuki Roshi — with Vishnu Dhakarge.
Believe in nothing. Know that all is exactly as all is.
Have faith in the all of everything and the nothing that exists without words, without labels, without form.
It is the challenge of the leap. I want to belong. To be part of, to fit in yet I know that for me, deep within my soul is the desire to be free of the forms I want to fit into, to leap beyond the idea of who I am as defined by the labels I wear to fit in.
To have faith, I must surrender my need to be attached to the knowing of where I belong. I must trust the road will rise up to meet me. I must have faith my wings will appear as I freefall into the unknown of the nothing that is beyond my belief.