Time has a way of passing even when I’m busy doing nothing.
At least, that’s how it feels on mornings like today when I get caught up in reading newsfeeds and other blogs and then look at the time and realize — oh my! I am already late.
Okay. maybe not late, but definitely behind time in writing and getting ready.
I should be finished by now.
It seems to be my mantra some days. My shoulda’s keep me stuck in the land of ‘Coulda’s if only…’.
Sometimes, it’s just the creative process. It doesn’t just magically happen. It happens best when I am centered on being present. Sometimes, it’s totally because I am not present in this moment right now, leaning too far into the river of coulda’s and shoulda’s and if only’s and what if’s…
Being present doesn’t mean, here I am, take me as I am, this is all I got to give right now.
Being present means not being distracted by those errant thoughts that like to run interference when I’m in the process of pausing between each breath to stay present in the moment.
Being present means, not letting the past drag me into the flow of memory. Not letting it keep me mired in what if’s and if only’s.
Imagine the past is a river flowing constantly in front of you. Imagine you are fly-fishing in that river.
Now, imagine, you cast your line into the river. It curves beautifully in the sunshine, shimmering in the light. The lure hits the water and is immediately dragged further away. You pull back on the line, the arc increases as the river pulls harder.
You pull back. Reel in and out, constantly fighting against the flow of the river.
Memory is like that. It lures you in. Pulls against you. Drags you with it.
Now imagine, you reel in the line. Imagine you tuck the lure safely against the rod, lock it all up together and set it aside on the river’s bank and continue walking in the beautiful warm sunshine.
That’s my task for today. To let go of the reel. To not bother with casting my line into memory’s river. To not be dragged into negative thoughts or reflections of coulda’s, shoulda’s, what if’s and if only’s.
What about you?
Are you willing to let go of the line pulling you into negative thinking, what if’s and if only’s?
Are you willing to set the rod and reel aside so that you can walk freely in this moment right now treasuring the wonder and awe all around you?
Let’s do it.
Cool. This post took me 15 minutes to write. In keeping with my desire to stay present, I will let it stand without judgement. I will not edit. I will continue on with my day, treasuring walking in the light of being present.