Dare boldly

A blog by Louise Gallagher

Letting go of hiding out in normal.

16 Comments

Whew I made it

Have you ever been told to ‘just let it go’? To ‘get over it’? Let it be.

There is value in letting go to let it be over with. There is also danger.

When bad things happen in life, letting go does not mean closing your eyes to what happened, accepting the unacceptable and moving on so that you don’t think about it, deal with it or feel it.

Letting go means moving through it. Digging into your emotions and feelings so that you can live free of the emotional trauma of what happened, versus, burying the emotional trauma within and moving on still carrying the debris.

Recently, several events created discord within me. From a mistake that solicited unwarranted feelings of disgrace and embarrassment by someone’s response to what happened (causing me to wonder, what’s that all about?), to a couple of work-related events where I had to face an angry mob (causing me to wonder, what’s the normal here?). The sequence and timing of these events triggered emotions deep within me, stirring up feelings of confusion, unease, unrest…

I have a choice.

Swallow my feelings and emotional responses or face them and free me.

Sure, it is easy to say, those events are done with. They don’t matter — the ‘others’ were wrong and I was wronged and I need to let it go and get on with it.

There is also a place that says, those events uncovered pockets of unhealed spaces within me. I can step lovingly into their midst and find the source of their unease and heal it so that I can grow even deeper in my understanding of how to be authentically me in the world, or not.

I have chosen to not say, ‘Not’ and instead say ‘Yes’ to delving into the opportunity to grow through healing what I did not know was causing inner distress.

It ain’t easy.

In fact, blind submission to the past would be preferred if only… I didn’t know better.

Just as I know that anger that lasts more than 10 minutes is no longer anger about the event but my emotions around past events, when my emotional responses cause me unease that lasts longer than the event warrants, shutting them off by simply rationalizing my way back to an even keel does not lead to inner peace. It simply leads to my walking blindly through life, pretending ‘it doesn’t matter’, everything is back to normal.

You gotta let go of hiding out in normal to get through to what matters most; joy, peace, freedom, love…

I went to see a therapist yesterday. As I told her when she asked me why I was there, “I am really good at bullying me with my own bullsh*t.”

It is a learned behaviour. Self-bullying.

And while intellectually I know that what happened is not a measure of my worth, what happened revealed places within me that lay hidden for a long, long time.

Now that I see them, I get to shine the light of loving compassion on myself so that I can continue to take delight in being me, every step of the journey!

This journey of life is not about getting to the end, dusting off your hands and saying, ‘Whew! I made it!’

It’s about dusting off the path along the way so that every step makes it a journey worth taking.

This is life. We all know where it’s going and none of us are getting out alive.

Making the journey an adventure, exploring every nook and cranny to discover hidden gems and treasures within you creates a journey worth taking every step of the way.

 

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Author: Louise Gallagher

I believe we each have the capacity to be the change we want to see in the world, to make a world of difference. I believe we are creative beings on the journey of our lifetimes. It's up to each of us to Live It Up and SHINE!

16 thoughts on “Letting go of hiding out in normal.

  1. Wise words. It is easy to fall victim to ourselves. You just have to keep going forward, and listen to your reasonable self.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. self care is good – and getting help when needed helps

    great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well said- I’m going through a lot of things with my sons and have to keep telling myself it’s not my fault. I saw a therapist– trying to see her more — and realized it’s not like taking my car or bike to get fixed! No easy answers!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes yes yes, I so agree here, letting go is good but only if one has dealt with the issue before letting it go, if it is an issue that should be dealt with some things of course do not need to be dealt with and a body just needs to let go. I don’t hold grudges because I choose to let go of anger it achieves nothing in the long run so I let it go and move on

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh I’m so curious about the details in this situation Louise. I know I have triggers and recognize similar reactions to situations. Trouble is I can rarely pinpoint the reason, therefore I can’t let it heal. ❤
    Diana xo

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m going through a lot — have been since December 2015. What you wrote here is very good medicine for me, thank you Louise! ❤

    Bright Blessings,
    ❤⭐😀⭐❤ NadineMarie ❤⭐😀⭐❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ahhhhh! Self-bullying … why do we seem addicted to learned behaviours that are so destructive?!! I LOVE your artwork, btw – great post! x

    Like

    • Thank you Callie for dropping by — and lol — I don’t have an answer to your question other than I agree — those learned behaviours are so destructive it’s important to stop them in their tracks!

      Like

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