What do you fear?

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The question rose out of meditation.  What do I fear?

Good question.

I fear feeling insignificant. I fear being ridiculed.

Do I?

I fear… And I hesitate. No words rise through the darkness that appears when I think of fear.

I dislike cruelty. Posturing. Abuse. I do not fear them.

I dislike people being unkind. Bullies. I dislike seeing animals mistreated. Children starving. There is much that I dislike. Much I find distasteful.

But what do I fear?

I fear feeling small.

And if I take off the last qualifier, I become my fear of feeling.

I fear feeling.

Cut back to the bone, strip away the skin, peel back the sinew and the veins and I find myself amidst the skeletal remains of my fear of being — nothing. Cut out the tissue. Skim off the blood and get to the guts of what I fear.

What is it?

What is my biggest fear?

Not being loved. Not knowing love? Losing love?

But love is limitless.

Love exists
as only love.
Love is.

I am afraid
of losing
I fear
losing
the ones I love
the things I love
I am afraid.

But I cannot lose Love which makes the fear of losing the one’s I love impossible. For, even when they are gone, love continues, love exists, Love is. Infinite. Limitless. All.

There is nothing
to fear
for Love is
Love
no matter
what fear
rises
to hold me
back
where I feel
nothing
but
Love.

I cannot separate Love with fear. I cannot divide it with 3 parts fear one part avoidance.

Love can
never be
divided.

Love is
and there is
nothing
to fear
here
where
Love is
everywhere.

13 thoughts on “What do you fear?”

  2. Good question: I am terrified of dying before I have cleaned house, made sure Ming is set up – that kind of thing (despite the fact that my health is fine!) Plus I am terrified I might die whilst Ants is still alive and needing me (context jmgoyder.com)

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    • Those are all real fears Julie. As I was in my studio painting the other day, a random thought went flitting through my head that surprised me — “I don’t want to die until I have completely expressed myself.”

      I realized that it came from a ‘fear-based’ place and stopped and asked myself — Then what am I waiting for?

      LOL — I was in the middle of a painting! I wasn’t waiting for anything! 🙂

      As I read your beautiful and heartfelt stories of your life with Ants and Ming Julie, and as I feel your sorrow and your love for Ants as he journey’s through Parkinsons, I am constantly in awe of how you live fully, letting courage drive away fear. You are inspiring. ❤

      Oh, and I can pretty well guarantee, my house will not be cleaned up by the time I die! 🙂

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  3. I feat the usual stuff, spiders, snakes, things that could kill me, I try to live a good life treat people as I would like to be treated and not run people over with my car, just saying the last one is hard when I see someone I do not like

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  4. “I dislike cruelty”
    “Abuse”
    “I dislike seeing animals being mistreated”

    Fine words indeed, but that is all they are, meaningless words
    when not backed up with positive action to prevent cruelty, abuse and mistreatment of animals.
    Until you actually live a compassionate cruelty free life, it is hypocritical to make such comments.
    As long as your lifestyle and eating habits support an industry that imprisons, mistreats, abuses
    and murders animals you can’t actually dislike cruelty, abuse or animals being mistreated.
    There is absolutely no difference between Beaumont who you love so dearly and would do
    anything for and the cow, chicken or pig forced to injure unspeakable atrocities in their
    shortened lifespan for something as trivial as palate taste. The only difference is your perception
    of them.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Well Mark if you truly believe that animals raised for food are properly treated you are the ignorant one. Do your self a favour and educate yourself before making such ridiculous statements. My comment was not rude and certainly not a narrow view of the world when the meat and dairy industries are the biggest contributors to global warming, appalling hunger in countries where land that could grow crops to feed its people are instead used to grow crops to feed livestock. Rain forest depletion and water pollution. 52 billion animals are slaughtered every single year, none of these animal have a voice so I will always open my mouth for them whether her you like it or not. Also I am a Vegan not a vegetarian, huge difference. Also calling someone an idiot on this post is EXTREMLY RUDE.

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    • Thanks for sharing your perspective Lee.

      To both you and Mark — As you will notice, I’ve deleted the rest of the conversation as I believe it’s important we express our thoughts and ideas and share the best of our thinking — it’s how we learn from one another. This is a place where I want to encourage respectful dialog — and do not permit comments that divide rather than create common ground. Hugs

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  5. not wishing to be prick to your balloon ..
    .. but fear is in everything – in love, in hate, in peace, in war, in life, in death

    … accepting the fear, rather than denying it or fighting it – is, for me, an effective strategy

    I’ve learned not to fear public speaking and I still fear death, I love people but I fear losing them, I love so many things I enjoy and fear I won’t live long enough or work hard enough to do all those things I have not yet stretched to do

    and, most of all, I fear the ‘message I have and value I am to the world’ won’t last longer than I do …. so, I write

    my side of the argument rests …

    but not for long – there is so much to do

    whether you do it with fear, without fear, because of fear or in spite of fear – do it anyway

    As Nike advertises, JUST DO IT

    do it without regret, without hesitation

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Conversely Mark, Love is in everything — and as the story goes of the Elder and the young brave, living in one of the other, all depends on which one you feed. 🙂

      And I agree — do it without regret, without hesitation

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