Love yourself first.

When you’re angry with yourself, when you feel like you’ve made a mistake and are busy chastising yourself for something you’ve done that didn’t work out the way you planned, what do you do?

Do you get angry and fill your head with negative self-talk about how stupid you are, or ridiculous, or what a loser?

You’re not alone. The world is filled with human beings who have made mistakes. Many of them are filled with anger because of the mistakes they’ve made.

It’s nice to know you’re not alone in your self-misery, but it still doesn’t make it healthy for your well-being.

We all make mistakes. We all fall down. And we all talk to ourselves in ways we’d never talk to another human being.

What if, instead of giving into self-anger and loathing, we all gave into love? What if instead of telling ourselves all about how horrible we are, we chose instead to Love ourselves first?

Think about it. Imagine what would be different in your life if you chose to, Love yourself first.

Yeah. Yeah. I know. You love yourself. Maybe? Well sort of. Except… for that piece of flotsam from the past that doesn’t want to lay quiet and is always poking holes in your peace of mind. Or, that place where you did this or that, and keep telling yourself you can’t forgive yourself for doing this or that.

What if instead of carrying anger and unforgiveness, you chose instead to Love yourself first?

Would that make a difference in your life?

I know it would in mine.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love myself. It has been the journey of my lifetime, getting to this place where I can look in the mirror, look deep into my eyes and say, “I love me. Just the way I am. I am a miracle of life.”

But…. And there’s always that but. When I mess up by doing something that upsets my peace of mind, I tend to fall into my default position, chastising myself with the words that play in my head whenever I slip out of esteem. They are not words of support or understanding. They tend to be the words that remind me why I am ‘unworthy’, a human being of enormous flawed proportions. A big mistake.

In my angry state, I focus on the things that are wrong with me, rather than seeing all that is right.

We all make mistakes. We can all learn from our mistakes because, there is always another way of doing something, of doing anything, different.

It’s the way of the universe. It’s filled with limitless possibilities. Unfortunately, when I leap into my “oh my gosh, I’ve just destroyed everything with what I did” thinking, possibilities for better vanish as my self-criticism falls like rain on a hot summer’s day — it’s a welcome relief from the heat. But man, it sure can turn a backyard party into a pity party.

In choosing to Love myself first I do not have to fear myself, or the angry voices in my head. Instead, I get to see myself through the power of love to transform anger, into love. Hatred into kindness. Self-pity into self-compassion.

And when I transform my inner world, the world around me changes too.

4 thoughts on “Love yourself first.

  1. I’m reminded of an old boss, from my very early working days (I was 19) – he was a bad influence in so many ways I’ve spent most of my working life un-learning many of his bad lessons, but there was ONE profoundly important one he taught me. I was feeling boastful one day, chest puffed out, bragging about how good business had been in ‘my store’ that month and taking the credit. Aside from reminding me it was ‘his store’, that he was the owner with capital on the line, and that I was just an employee – he gave me this gem: “when things are going really well, you are not as good as you think you are – AND, when things are going really badly, you are never as bad as you think you are”. I can’t get that out of my head … it’s been 47 years now. It reinforces for me that so much that goes on is NOT caused by our efforts, or lack of efforts. AND, all of our efforts – however worthy, don’t move the dial much. In that knowing, I remind myself that where I’m going and how I get there is not because of who owns the boat or what the weather is like, but is determined by how I steer myself though whatever muck, weather, good or bad circumstances I encounter.

    my two cents

    Liked by 1 person

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