In an imperfect world can you forgive yourself for being imperfect?

No matter how much I forgive myself for the things I’ve done that have hurt the one’s I love, the thing I struggle with the most is forgiving myself for not being perfect.

It’s a not so subtle force, this desire to be perfect and to make the world around me perfect. Its constant yammering to do better, be better, make better of myself and everything I create in the world leaves me feeling dissatisfied and sometimes defeated by myself. Its constant wailing pounds away at my peace of mind, upsetting my sense of being at ease in the world.

In its strident calling out for justice, in its insistence that ‘this’ or ‘that’ do not belong in the world, in its labelling of human suffering and misdeeds as ‘wrong’, in its endless battling against one foe versus another, it denies the inescapable truth — everything belongs. It is all part of our human journey.

I cannot change the world. I can change my world by letting go of anger, fear, denial of what is, through acceptance of all that is when I accept, it all belongs.

Acceptance doesn’t mean I give up working towards change, towards justice and truth. It just means I stop railing against things I label as unjust and stand instead in all the imperfections knowing we are all perfectly human in all our human imperfections, and it’s all okay.

There are many ways to quieten my need for perfection; meditation, exercise, dance, creative endeavours, being in nature, yet still, it raises its persistent voice whenever I fall into the belief that I am separate from the world around me.

Fact is, my need for perfection keeps me separate through criticizing, condemning and blaming myself and others for what I have deemed ‘not belonging’ in the world.

It is in those moments that I must stop, breathe deeply, relax and forgive myself for my imperfections so that I can accept, it all belongs in my world, it is all okay.

It is in forgiveness I find peace within a deep sense of belonging.

What about you?  Are you continually judging yourself and the world around you, creating separation through striving to find perfection in our perfectly imperfect humanity?

Have you tried forgiving yourself in the beauty of your human imperfections?


15 thoughts on “In an imperfect world can you forgive yourself for being imperfect?

  1. acceptance may not be a form of forgiveness – but maybe The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr holds the key …

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    Courage to change the things I can,
    And wisdom to know the difference.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Sugar and spice and everything nice.” This constant weighing ourselves against the standard of perfect … is it just women or do guys do this? When punished as a child, I used to weep and swear I’d be perfect for the rest of my life. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’ve actually accepted myself as I am or have just resigned myself as a failure. What would it mean if I unconditionally loved myself as I try to do for others? Thanks for the opening to think about this again!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not sure if men do JOyce — but most women I know definitely due to varying degrees! What would it mean indeed! Much love to you beautiful heart (and I see you as an incredible inspiration and amazing woman!) ❤


  3. Well now, I have taken a slightly different approach to perfection vs imperfection. When I am asked, “How are you, or how is life treating me?” I USUALLY respond with, “I’m perfect, thank you.” Those asking then now that all is well is my personal sphere. However, should I respond, “ I’m fine”, the asker then knows that all is not well in my personal sphere. I may have tried to do something that did not work out, help somewhere or do something to ameliorate a situation. This approach has lessened my personal stress levels, and helped me to accept that I cannot always be the change-maker.
    Happy Easter! May the weekend be filled with joy, laughter and good eats!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think anything that helps lessen our personal stress levels is a good thing Iwona. And I agree — we can’t always be the change-maker, but we can always add value. Hugs my friend. WE had a delightful brunch with Ursula, Andrew and Tamara yesterday. Hope your Easter wa filled with love — and chocolate! ❤


  4. Pingback: In an imperfect world can you forgive yourself for being imperfect? — Dare boldly – My gypsy life

  5. Pingback: What’s holding you back? | Dare boldly

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