In September, I took a 20 hour a week contract with a not-for-profit. I was excited. Nervous. Inspired. To be able to give back, to share in the NFPs vision of inclusive workplaces employing a diverse workforce felt right. Good. Challenging.
After two years of ‘retirement’ that felt a little derailed under Covid’s presence, I was feeling somewhat adrift. It wasn’t that I didn’t recognize that every time I wrote here or created in my studio, I was living on purpose. It was more that after almost 2 decades of feeling on-purpose everyday knowing that the work I was doing changed lives, I felt a bit disconnected from my purpose to “touch hearts, open minds and set spirits free.”
Supporting a not-for-profit in advocacy and government relations seemed like purposeful work.
And it is.
Though, I must admit, I hadn’t accounted for the challenges of onboarding and getting to know an organization through socially distanced practices.
My hat’s off to any employee who has waded into a new organization during these times, and the employers who have successfully onboarded new staff. It ain’t easy!
But, like anything, if you let go of expectations and stay open to possibilities, it’s achievable.
Which means, I’m learning and growing and adapting and shifting my expectations to embrace this new reality.
I am also adjusting my daily routines and slipping back into my old habit of rising early.
I have always been an early riser. Even as a teenager. Early mornings are my sweet spot. Over the last two years however, my normal 5:30 rise and shine has drifted into a 7:30 yawn and stretch as I slip into an easy awakening.
It’s been an adjustment.
In encountering this new reality, I am remembering my love of early rising and its many benefits. Something I seemed to have forgotten as I slid through each day without having to reference my daily agenda. It was easy over the past two years to keep track of my calendar. There were few appointments or meetings to remember.
Now, my calendar is getting peppered with Zoom meetings and tasks to be completed.
It’s kind of nice.
I like the busy. I like the structure.
And that’s what I’m discovering to be most true for me.
I feel more grounded and centered within a structure.
Free-spirited I may be but what allows me the most breadth to spread my wings with ease, is knowing the purpose and direction of my flight.
I don’t need to know the destination.
I just like feeling that my wings are wide-spread with purpose.
I’ve gone back to work, albeit not 5 days a work-week, it is enough to remind me though, of the joy that comes with giving back, with living on purpose and feeling challenged.
I’m adapting. Making adjustments and embracing this change.
There are some things however, that cannot, will not, must not change for me — and one of those is ensuring I protect and preserve my sacred space for creative expression.
I’ve been letting it go in the past couple of weeks. Telling myself my head is so full of learning new things, I’m too tired to take my body down to the studio.
Ahhh…. that critter mind loves to slip in when new horizons open up. He gets scared by wide open spaces and wants to pull me back to safety. Except… his idea of safety leaves me vulnerable to confusion and doubt.
And I smile. Head and body are one. Not two separate entities with the one ruled by the other. For my mind to be calm and peaceful, I must respect the wholeness of all I am and breathe into my entire being, connecting deeply to the flow of all life in and around me.
In that grace-filled space of unity, mind chatter drifts away as effortlessly as clouds on a blue-sky summer day as I fall with grace into gratitude and joy.
And look! It’s not yet 8 am and I’ve just finished my blog – something I’ve been less present with over the past few months.
Because here’s the thing. Writing here every morning sets my day up with grace, gratitude and joy.
And who doesn’t like a day that begins with feeling full of grace, gratitude and joy?