Hangin’ on to lettin’ go

Hangin' on
to everything 
that doesn't matter
I lose sight
of everything
that matters.
Letting go
of everything 
that doesn't matter
leaves me free
to cherish
that matters.

I am wearing a comfort sweater today. One elbow is worn out. There’s a hole in the right armpit. But, the sweater is cashmere. It’s cozy. Well worn. Welcome.

I don’t want to let it go.

Fact is, its weary threads don’t matter. What matters is I am happy wearing it, especially in the house. It keeps me warm. It feels good against my skin.

No need to throw it out.

I can hang on.

There are other things in my life, however, that don’t measure up to hanging on.

If I inventory my emotional closet I’m bound to find things that no longer serve or fit me.

Like anger. Regret. Blame. Righteous hurts. Guilt. Shame…

They don’t serve me well as I continue to strive to live my life true to my values, principles and beliefs today.

Those things that do not serve or fit, I need to discard, no matter how well-worn the pathway to their memory vaults may be.

To let them go I must be willing to also let go of the story I tell about why I hang onto them. It’s the story that keeps me clinging to their threads of discord wending their way through my peace of mind. It’s their story that keeps me stuck.

We all have stories we tell ourselves about past events. Those stories where we’re the victim of someone else’s bad behaviour. The recipient of someone else’s anger. The target of someone else’s lies.

Fact is, victim or not, whatever ‘the other(s) did, it happened in the past. We truly can’t change the past, we can choose to free ourselves of its shadows by letting go of repeating the stories that hurt us.

Do you have a story you tell yourself about a time when you were the victim of someone else’s bad behaviour?

Can you find value in what happened? Can you find one gift from those events that create beauty or joy or love or wonder or possibility in your life today?

Search hard and when you find its gift, start telling yourself that story. Again and again. Eventually, that story will lead to a letting go of the other story. The one that doesn’t serve you today.

To live in possibility today, to create a world of wonder, awe, possibility, love, let go of the things that are keeping you stuck in holding on to everything that doesn’t matter. When all that really matters is left, love and joy will fill your heart and create beauty throughout your world today.

I am wearing a comfort sweater today. I’m holding on to it. It matters.

11 thoughts on “Hangin’ on to lettin’ go

  1. Elgie,

    Good column – nothing to quarrel with, but a couple of possibly relevant ‘other things’.

    The quote from Churchill, “When you are going through hell, keep going …!” comes to mind.

    The focus of my thinking lately is to spend time and energy only on things I’m 100% committed to, so it’s 98%, that’s not good enough – so I’m doing some triage on how I spend my time and efforts.

    I’m reminded of some closet cleaning in my past – my 2nd wife, was cleaning my closet of ‘old ratty clothes’ that included favorite cozy sweaters, and one was a cashmere sweater with holes someone with too much money on their hands had bought me once, and ran a garage sale that disposed of many books and old LPs I had no intention of parting with when I was out of town – they went in goodwill bags and the garage sale. As you might guess, within months, my 2nd wife became my 2nd-ex-wife, and I still miss that sweater!

    Have a cozy weekend.


    Liked by 1 person

    • I love that story Mark. And so true. Actually, in the original post (from 2020) which inspired me to think of it again when FB brought it out of memories, you mentioned old sweaters and comfort! So… you inspired this post too! Thanks.


    • I too share that fear/thought Nance. – that wanting something too much is not wise. I am working to eliminate it as I find it actually interferes with my reaching for my goals – in effect, it stops me from actually articulating them! ❤


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