What is real and present in this moment? Am I?

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There is a superstition that things come in threes. Christianity and other faiths are replete with references to the power of three as is mathematics and geometry. When, as the saying goes, “a shoe drops”, we wait for two more catastrophes to balance the bad, and put an end to its current cycle. As humans, we seek patterns and perceive orderliness, in Triaphilia (and no! Wikipedia does not have a definition for it! yet, but I found it used, HERE, and liked the sound of it.)

Last week, three things conspired to draw my attention to how and where I put my energies in every aspect of my life.

The first was a comment made by my friend Ian Munro on his blog, Leading Essentially. Ian was writing about getting centered at work and how challenging it can be to find and maintain balance in the midst of the “high pace of high stakes, high-rise business”. In his post, 3 Ways to Get Centered At Work , Ian provides doable suggestions on what everyone can do to “find and keep our centered, grounded self”.

On Saturday, I met with my beautiful soul-mentor, Kerry Parsons and five other women to share a meal, conversation and heart-inspired exploration on how to create, activate and evolve community.

As we stood in the circle just before bidding our adieus, one of the women commented that she wrote a daily blog for years, and then, one day, she quit. It was a year ago and she hasn’t missed it.

I heard her comment and let it sink into my being.

It is still sinking. In. Deep.

To write here every morning is a choice. An active decision to sit down and create, activate and evolve community through the exploration of what it means for me to be centered in my life in ways that inspires everyone who comes to share in this space to be centered in theirs. Through our shared centered presence, my vision is we ripple out to create greater balance in the world around us. Through our daily acts of grace, we inspire a world of love, peace, harmony and joy, together.

And the third thing has been my back’s misalignment. It has definitely caught my attention and given rise to my wondering on what brings me into balance, and where do I allow it to be present, or not.

I don’t have a clear answer. I am allowing the question to be my point of departure, allowing myself to live in its mystery without seeking the answer.

It is an uncomfortable place for me. To not search for and find a clear answer, to not define my path and place with words.

What I have is the knowing that to allow myself the grace of living within the question makes space for wonder, awe, mystery and majesty to emerge.

And so, I am committing to not commit to write here every day. I am committing to allowing myself to listen to my body, mind and spirit (see! there’s that 3 again) to guide me into awareness of what is real and necessary and evolving for and of my journey.

I don’t know the outcome. Perhaps there is none other than the freedom to move with grace and ease through each day without pressuring myself into appearing here for no reason other than I think I should because I always do. Which, may free me up to appear in a true and present form.

And that’s the exciting part. I don’t have an answer and am not searching for one. I am staying present in the journey of discovery of what is real and present in this moment, and letting what emerges, be what is.

As we are a community, I wanted to give you some insight into my thinking about being present and invite you to share where you find yourself in being truly present, or not, in your life. Where do you find yourself doing for the sake of doing, versus allowing your presence to emerge organically from the inside out of that place where you are living the questions and letting go of needing answers?

Namaste.

 

27 thoughts on “What is real and present in this moment? Am I?”

  1. well … that seems like a non-committal commitment …

    cliche to say, ‘it’s that thought that counts’

    what writing every day has taught me – as it became part of my life I rigidly adhere to (it will be interesting next Wed when I have to be at the airport at 4AM to check in for my flight – yikes!) even though strategies are tough to implement

    I don’t thank anyone would be upset if I wasn’t publishing every day, but I think they would lose pace, perhaps faith, with me if they knew I wasn’t walking and writing ..

    so, while you let loose the leash of your daily publishing commitment, I hope you don’t give up on the daily regime of writing

    I recall, and will never forget, when I wanted to call myself a writer but couldn’t – it was you who told me, taught me and reinforced for me that I was indeed, a writer

    you, are a writer
    you, are a painter
    you, are an inspiration

    that’s a grouping of three I like

    Cheers + mend well,

    Mark

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  2. While writing every day is a great practice for a writer, I’ve always felt that a lot of what is produced every day is not ready for the world. You are one of a handful of daily bloggers who has always amazed me with your ability to write great and thoughtful posts every day. That’s a big commitment, though — one I’ve promised myself NOT to make since the day I started a blog– and I totally get the feeling that you want to step back and let it not be a requirement. However often you post, we’ll be here, hungrily waiting for the next words of wisdom from you.

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    • Thank you Leigh — As I read your words I wondered if being in ‘the flow’ is how I write everyday — and that is my gift. It is possible that I am just tired of thinking so much everyday — which is what leads to my needing to write it out! 🙂 I so appreciate your support my friend.

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  3. 1. When I let go of what others people might think about me, I find peace.
    2. It is in the knowing that what I do, has to be an expression of my higher and authentic self.
    3. Living daily by my mantra …. Learn. Grow. Share.
    Val x

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  4. I am not able to really be present, if I did, it feels and experience tells me that my ability to hold things together would disappear. Under my avoiding and pretending is a pain and darkness that seems so deep and vast it is unfathomable. Even just taking a deep breath to steady my rapidly beating, panicking heart, hurts…
    I can’t be present, it scares me and right now (as it has for a long time now) it doesn’t feel safe. I don’t know if I can hold back the thoughts of giving up, I’m not strong enough to handle it.

    And so I pretend, and don’t let anyone, even myself, see what is really going on underneath the smiling, functioning face.

    I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do or say. x

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    • Hello lovely Laura — I think you are present. Your awareness of how and what you need is a beautiful presence — and knowing the depth to the darkness means you naturally balance your presence to keep yourself safe and here. Hugs my young friend. May you find peace where ever you are.

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  10. Louise,
    Being in pain gives us perspective and makes us reflect.
    I think that art is freeing. Whether it is writing or painting or singing or acting. I know when anything becomes binding or feels like a chore, it is not a good thing.
    I do however, know that art can be come a job. I did art shows for 20+ years so I do know about that. My poetry became a greeting card line and sometimes people wanted custom things etc… I wrote for a local town magazine, monthly for several years and had the freedom to write whatever I fancied. When I began to get assignments, I lost interest. It wasn’t fun anymore. I recently was up for a newspaper reporter job and panicked. So I GET it!
    But I also agree with Mark, the first response you got here. You my dear are a teacher. Sometimes that comes with responsibility. I also noted how you called Kerry your mentor friend. I think that would be such a compliment coming from you!!!! To be a mentor to a teacher such as yourself.
    YOU my dear, have a story to tell. Maybe not everyday. But I encourage you to rethink your position.
    I think that sometimes, we are given stories in life because we are trusted to teach the lessons attached.
    I for one vote that you never stop!!!! But I also believe we all need a break!
    When things aren’t fun anymore… well, that is the proverbial other shoe falling so to speak. But sometimes what is still worthwhile, isn’t always fun. I have learned that in growing up. (yes, even at my age… I hopefully am still doing it) 😉 It isn’t always fun…. but there always is joy when you find the balance… which is what I think you are doing here now.
    I know I’d miss you, if you just quit. But I GET the every day thing…. I skip weeks at a time. I also have to add that sometimes the blogs I follow who post like twitter are a little annoying. I mean do we really need to know every thought they are having throughout their day? LOL.

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    • Hello dear Di, Oh no! My intention is not to quit, it is simply to go more with the call versus the compulsion to blog every morning. 🙂 I know I must write, it is in my DNA. What I’m finding is the draw to write here everyday is keeping me from writing and creating in ways my heart is calling. At least for now.

      Thank you so much Di for being part of my journey here and for being such a wonderful writing guide and companion. Hugs

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  13. Hey, Louise; sorry to hear about your back pain, it can be horrendous, I know!
    Regarding writing, it’s a great way to figure out what we are feeling, and for sure, can bring solutions to the surface. However, I’m not one for sticking to rigid routines. I prefer to just do as I’m inspired in the moment. I guess this means being attuned to the self (without that it’s not going to work).
    There are those times when the writing brings clarity to something I didn’t even know was becoming a possible problem.
    It (writing) is such a great tool. It’s like that friend we visit when we need the comfort only certain friends can give. Kind of reminds me of Zen – The paper and I are one.

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    • Thank you Carolyn — I woke up this morning and did my stretches and thought…. oh…. that didn’t hurt! lol — that’s a good thing as it has taken almost 2 weeks for this to ease. I am happy!

      And yes, I love how you put it — that writing brings clarity to some things were becoming a possible problem. And that happens most when…. The paper and I are one. 🙂 Love that! Thank you!

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