essential nature | Dare Boldly

There is a superstition that things come in threes. Christianity and other faiths are replete with references to the power of three as is mathematics and geometry. When, as the saying goes, “a shoe drops”, we wait for two more catastrophes to balance the bad, and put an end to its current cycle. As humans, we seek patterns and perceive orderliness, in Triaphilia (and no! Wikipedia does not have a definition for it! yet, but I found it used, HERE, and liked the sound of it.)

Last week, three things conspired to draw my attention to how and where I put my energies in every aspect of my life.

The first was a comment made by my friend Ian Munro on his blog, Leading Essentially. Ian was writing about getting centered at work and how challenging it can be to find and maintain balance in the midst of the “high pace of high stakes, high-rise business”. In his post, 3 Ways to Get Centered At Work , Ian provides doable suggestions on what everyone can do to “find and keep our centered, grounded self”.

On Saturday, I met with my beautiful soul-mentor, Kerry Parsons and five other women to share a meal, conversation and heart-inspired exploration on how to create, activate and evolve community.

As we stood in the circle just before bidding our adieus, one of the women commented that she wrote a daily blog for years, and then, one day, she quit. It was a year ago and she hasn’t missed it.

I heard her comment and let it sink into my being.

It is still sinking. In. Deep.

To write here every morning is a choice. An active decision to sit down and create, activate and evolve community through the exploration of what it means for me to be centered in my life in ways that inspires everyone who comes to share in this space to be centered in theirs. Through our shared centered presence, my vision is we ripple out to create greater balance in the world around us. Through our daily acts of grace, we inspire a world of love, peace, harmony and joy, together.

And the third thing has been my back’s misalignment. It has definitely caught my attention and given rise to my wondering on what brings me into balance, and where do I allow it to be present, or not.

I don’t have a clear answer. I am allowing the question to be my point of departure, allowing myself to live in its mystery without seeking the answer.

It is an uncomfortable place for me. To not search for and find a clear answer, to not define my path and place with words.

What I have is the knowing that to allow myself the grace of living within the question makes space for wonder, awe, mystery and majesty to emerge.

And so, I am committing to not commit to write here every day. I am committing to allowing myself to listen to my body, mind and spirit (see! there’s that 3 again) to guide me into awareness of what is real and necessary and evolving for and of my journey.

I don’t know the outcome. Perhaps there is none other than the freedom to move with grace and ease through each day without pressuring myself into appearing here for no reason other than I think I should because I always do. Which, may free me up to appear in a true and present form.

And that’s the exciting part. I don’t have an answer and am not searching for one. I am staying present in the journey of discovery of what is real and present in this moment, and letting what emerges, be what is.

As we are a community, I wanted to give you some insight into my thinking about being present and invite you to share where you find yourself in being truly present, or not, in your life. Where do you find yourself doing for the sake of doing, versus allowing your presence to emerge organically from the inside out of that place where you are living the questions and letting go of needing answers?

Namaste.

There was once a little girl who was afraid of colour. To see the golden yellow of the sun, or the deep green velvet of the forest, or the vibrant hues of the garden filled her heart with fear.

Terrified of all the colour in the world, she walked through each day with her eyes squinted against the onslaught of beauty that she could not witness. Fearful of the world of colour that bombarded her senses with every glance, she covered her ears to the songs of enchantment all around and cowered beneath the belief that she was right to cling to her fears.

“Give me black and white,” she pleaded in the darkness of her mind.

And the world closed in around her until all she saw were the shadows between the colours of the world.

The story above appeared in my meditation as tendrils of thoughts whispering their away into substance.

I opened my eyes and let the words flow. Let them form themselves upon the page.

It is what I find most enlivening and mystical about the creative process. When I stop squinting my eyes, when I stop fearing what might be, or not be, magic and wonder happens.

When I fear. When I force or try to push the muse into a container, to direct her into this way or that, the wonder disappears and I am left feeling left out, apart, and let down, telling myself, there is no magic. There is no mystery. there is no possibility of beauty rescuing the light from the darkness.

In fear, I fall into that place where all I see is what I fear. Where all I know is what I expect to be the mundane, the same as, the predictable of life lived in the comfort of the darkness I crave when I let go of seeing the light in every thing and everyone.

At River Rock Studio, immersed in the creative process, without access to Internet or TV, the world fell away into that place where all I knew was its beauty. There was no war, no famine, no hurricane or jet planes being shot down. There was no enemy, no terrorist, no terror.

There was only the muse and me. Connected. Committed. Creative. And in that connection, I was part of the flow of the essential essence of the Universe. I was one with life. One creative expression flowing with the expressions of everyone all around me.

It is rarefied air. Elementary. Essential.

I tell myself, it is impossible to maintain such a connection to the essential nature of the world around me when I live connected to the world through everyday happenings.

“It is much too hard work to continuously live with your senses open to being alive,” the critter hisses. “Don’t tire yourself out. It’s not worth it. The world doesn’t care if you create. The world doesn’t need more creation. It needs more safety. More same old. More conformance to staying the course so it can keep ticking along without interference from the likes of you.”

And I sigh.

I know that critter’s voice. It is the voice of self-denial. Of refusal to see, we are all essential to the evolution of life. We are all creative expressions of amazing grace.

Anything is possible as long as I do not shut my eyes to the colours of the world. As long as I stay open and available to the song’s of enchantment flowing all around, all the magic and wonder and mystery of the world is mine to explore, to see, to know.

It is the beauty of the creative process. The wonder of this space where I let go of fear and fall, fearlessly, into awe knowing, to do my best in the world and for the world, I must allow my best to flow free.

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I have also shared another poem I wrote at River Rock Studio during my art retreat — this one was written when I returned home and carried the memory of the joy of creativity into my weekend. Breathing Under Water.