Several years ago, for an entire year, I awoke every morning and wrote my beloved a love poem.
It started out as a gift of a love poem a day for two weeks.
And then… I got kinda uppity about how he was receiving my gift, let him know how I would have responded if I was receiving the gift of a love poem a day and well, let’s just say my telling him in no uncertain terms my expectations of his behaviour did not go over well.
I had to make amends.
At the time, he was living in another city and when flowers arrived for Valentine’s Day, I realized I had totally forgotten! I knew I didn’t have time to get him chocolates or anything concrete so, I offered up a pretty email with a love poem and a committment to send him a love poem everyday for the next two weeks.
It only took one day for my attitude to interfere with my intention.
Originally, my thought had been to do something that would create intimacy over the distance. Instead, I created more distance when I suggested he open my emails at 6am when I sent them versus his normal afternoon reading which was when he got to his personal emails.
Harrumph. I responded via email. If I were getting a love poem a day it would be the first thing I read in the morning.
Well, you’re not me, he replied, and went on to suggest that a gift came without expectations of how the recipient received it. That’s what made it a gift.
He was right.
And so, I wrote him a love poem apology and committed to getting my expectations out of the way.
When I shifted, everything shifted.
By the time the two week mark appeared, I was committed to writing a love poem a day and he loved receiving them. So I kept at it for a year.
And in that year my understanding of Love grew deeper.
It was a gift to begin every day writing about love, thinking about my beloved and focussing on giving the gift of words to the one I love.
Recently, I shared that story with a group of coaches at Choices Seminars during the G2 training process on how to guide the trainees through the process of crafting the words to their purpose statement. In the actual process, there are a series of questions that lead them deeper and deeper into the truth of what they do naturally in the world to create a difference – which eventually leads to their purpose statement coming clear.
On that day, I was the example to show them how powerful the questions are, and how beautiful a journey writing your purpose statement can be.
As I answered the questions I gained more and more and insight into what that year of writing a love poem a day gave me and my beloved. It drew us closer together. It gave him a look into my day from across the miles (I started taking a photo everyday and writing my poem to that photo and sending both). It deepened my understanding of Love and it gave C.C. the thing I wanted most to give him and had messed up so badly at the beginning — the experience of receiving Love without any expectations.
Ultimately, what I learned is that Love has no expecations. It does not look for words of affirmation, reassurance nor reciprocity. Love is and when we share it without an expecation of how the other will receive it, or give it back, we transform ourselves and our relationships.
My purpose is to lovingly touch hearts, open minds and set spirits free. When I sent my first poems and let him know my expectations of how he should receive them, I was not lovingly touching his heart; I was attempting to hammer it into submission to my way of loving.
Love doesn’t work that way.
Writing a Love Poem a Day helped me learn that vital lesson in living and loving with grace.
Why not give it a try?