It is back. This need to check the data every day. To scan news headlines for what’s happening now in a world that seems hellbent on conflict and destruction.
It was gone for awhile, this need. I wanted it to stay away. Yet here it is again. Unbidden. Uninvited. Unwanted.
So I shift my approach to dealing with its presence. Instead of searching for data and world events, I read articles on post-pandemic life. I seek advice on how to step out into the world, without being riddled with anxiety and guilt, once critical mass on vaccinations is reached and restrictions can be safely lifted.
And then, I dip into one of my social media feeds and feel discouragement rising like the third-wave surge of sickness and death. How will we ever arrive at a post-pandemic world when there are those who believe wearing a mask is a sign of weakness? That following restrictions is sheep-like behaviour destined to transform one into a lemming falling over a cliff?
I turn off my social media feeds. I step back from the edge of the abyss where I feel myself getting pulled into the undertow of a debate that feeds my anxiety and drives me deeper into the data as if somehow, somewhere, some number will help make sense of it all and send this virus packing and stop this ‘us versus them’ debate.
One of my aunts, who lives in southern India, has only been out of her apartment once in over a year. She is tired. Anxious. Frustrated. Worried. When she phones, I can feel her loneliness ringing in my ears with every word she rattles off in her rapid-fire French about how limited her life has become through these months and months of Covid. “But what can I do?” she asks without waiting for an answer from me. “To stay alive I must stay at home but I am so lonely.”
Her two remaining siblings live in France as do the majority of her nieces and nephews. She cannot travel to visit any of us nor can we travel to visit her. “I have a dream to come and visit you one more time in Canada before I go,” she tells me. I tell her I want her dream to come true.
And so, together, we wait for the world to right itself. For vaccination counts to surpass the 75% mark. For sickness and death counts to plummet.
Three weeks ago my youngest daughter and her partner became statistics in the Covid case count. They are two of the over 146.8 million of the reported cases as of yesterday’s count. Fortunately, while they said they’d never felt so sick, they did not succumb to the virus as my cousin Linda did in Paris last spring. They have recovered and stayed on the life side of the ledger. Linda is one of the over 3.1 million who did not.
And here’s the thing. They are not ‘cases’ or a number on an ever-increasing count. They are my loved ones. Just as the other 146.6 million reported cases were someone else’s loved ones.
Which is why I will do whatever it takes to keep my loved ones safe. I will get vaccinated. I will wear a mask. Keep my distance. Stay sequestered with my beloved whose lungs, should he become infected, might not be able to withstand the viruses onslaught. We have only received the first vaccination and while the risk and severity are lowered, they still exist. .
And sure, there are those who would call me a sheep. Who would rally against my precautions in the name of their rights.
I get it.
Masks can be annoying. Keeping away from human contact challenging and depressing. There are still many unknowns. Still too much uncertainty and question marks and confusion over so many unknowns. And the unknown and uncertainty breeds anxiety. It feeds fear.
But certain things remain known. Masks work. Keeping safe physical distance works. Being vaccinated is a better safeguard than not being vaccinated.
The virus will not go away on its own. But if it can’t find enough hosts to keep replicating itself, it will eventually lose its grip and fade out. (I know that’s not a scientific explanation but it makes sense to me.)
Just as doing the right thing, whether I like it or not, makes sense to me too. It’s for the sake of myself, my loved ones and for all of us.
And in my world, doing the right thing is never the wrong thing to do.
Which means, I must do the right thing for myself today. I must lovingly wean myself away from diving deep into statistics, into watching news feeds for world catastrophes and natural and manmade disasters, from scrolling social media feeds urging me to cherish my rights over the right to life of all humanity.
I cherish my right to life. I cherish the right to life of all human beings on this planet.
And so, I breathe and say a prayer for all humanity.
May we find a way to survive this latest surge without tearing our humanity apart.
May we find a way to honour one another, to show tolerance and grace in the face of adversity and differing views.
May we all remember we do not have a guidebook on how to behave during a pandemic. That we are all struggling with the knowns and unknowns. We all feel the fear and anxiety. We all feel the constraints.
And may we all remember, we all want to live in our own way.
May we all live to tell the story of our survival.
Namaste.
_________________________
This post was inspired by an article in the New York Times shared by David Kanigan at Live and Learn. Thanks David!
Dare Boldly 
Elgie,
Great article – and I’m cheering for your points/argument with the exception of one thing.
The virus will not go away. Once we have herd immunity, once we have widespread high ratios of vaccinated people, the virus is still out there. The unknown is whether these vaccine shots will give us long-term immunity, or whether we’ll have to be re-shot annually …
Sadly right now India, Brazil and many other 3rd world countries are facing a situation that will likely get far worse before it gets better, we are very fortunate. It boggles my mind when Canadian and Americans who are eligible, opt to not get a shot …
Yay vaccines!
m
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Thank you Mark — what you say is true — I just really want to believe in fairytales and Hollywood’s inevitable Fade to Black….. 🙂 which is a good reminder — we can all believe in things that just aren’t so….
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I read your complete article. I so agree. I don’t know what d do if I were all alone in isolation. I’d like to think I would consider it a chance for the monastic experience and continue to embrace life. But. I don’t know. I am so grateful for my small circle that has embraced safety and thinking of others needs above personal desires and for my tiny motor home that allows me to safely travel from one small arc of my circle to another. Living in this tiny place also greatly shrinks my desire for things. I am going to spend some time now lifting up those like your sweet aunt who are alone and weary of it.
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Thank you Pam for your lovely comment — And how lovely you have your circle and your tiny motor home. That sounds divinely peaceful and soothing. Thank you also for lifting up my sweet aunt and others. Many blessings to you. ❤
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Thanks for this post, Louise. I agree with you, completely. Thankfully, my partner and I have received both of our vaccinations but continue to wear our masks when we’re out and about. We will continue to do what we can.
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I’m so happy to hear you both received your second vaccination! Woo Hoo! We should be getting ours next month which will be a relief to have it all done. And yes, masks are still important! Hugs
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Dear Louise,
I feel like I have rung the bell of anxiety and discouragement in my head so many times that it’s echo remains implanted. In some ways it is just an experience like any other. In other ways it is life transforming and hard. A lot to hold for us beings. Sending love.
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It is a lot to hold for us humans Lilli Ann! I think we have to keep ringing that bell until it changes its tune! hugs my dear friend. ❤
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I share your concerns, your frustration and your fatigue, Louise. It *has* been a long haul, but we simply cannot let down our guard. I received my second vaccination today, after reading deeply disturbing stats in this morning’s news feed about how many people are skipping their second dose and scores of other are eschewing it all together. So disheartening. But I will continue to mask and distance and hope that a sufficient number of folks will come to their senses so that we can slowly reach a sense of balance once more. Stay safe….
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Oh Lori! What a wonderful feeling that must have been today! And yes, that is all so disheartening but as you can… we must hope that a sufficient number come to their senses to help us get beyond this place of deep unease. Staying safe and sending gratitude to you.
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That’s the scary part — the number of people who don’t want the vaccines and who feel we are being sheep and weak by following the guidelines — the sheer number of those people are the issue.
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Perhaps you should consider submitting this article as an op-ed piece to a national newspaper so it gets read right across the country. Your personal experiences, your blunt statement that we cannot let our guard down even after one vaccine is received needs to be repeated over and over again. And this goes for governments to NOT reopen businesses too soon or there will be yet another wave and we will never break the circuit.
We are all COVID weary, this is our new normal, yet that does not mean we can take matters into our own hands and cease all precautionary measures.
We are human, our individual minds work in strange ways, at times delving down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories, “I know better than the educated experts” attitude, the list goes on.
My only opinion is that just maybe, too many politicians and political levels were, and continue to involved, in crucial decision making specific to the overall handling of the COVID pandemic pandemonium. Yes, we are in uncharted waters but other countries had a head start in dealing with COVID, yet we did not learn from their experiences. Time we had a concerted national approach, while allowing for some tweaking at local levels. Time to under stand that national health and security concerns trump our Charter rights. We are in this pandemic together, let’s conquer it- together.
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Thank you Iwona — and yes, we did not look to ‘best’ practices (I put the best in ‘ ‘ as it’s a bit of a misnomer in so far as so we still have had enough time to ‘prove’ it) in other countries for how best to conquer this. It is in some ways ironic that we look to our political leaders to devise a plan when like every single one of us, they have absolutely zero experience in dealing with a pandemic!
Thank you for your cogent comment — and the idea to submit…
PS — I fixed ‘the witch’s’ offering. 🙂
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I can see you and I are standing in the same circle sharing a lot of the same thoughts.
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It is disheartening and frustrating and lonely and we must do our part. All of my friends went out to get their first dose. We all want to start living again. Those who rail against the vaccine are not helping, that is for sure. We must remain vigilent.
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Yes! Vigilant. Absolutely.
And compassionate. And kind. And loving. And… oh so much. ❤ Thanks Dale.
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Yes, yes and more yes.
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