I laughed yesterday as I stood on the street corner waiting for to cross. It’s Stampede time in the city and there are daily parades everywhere. The parade that was holding me up from crossing the street yesterday had horses and First Nation’s chiefs and a big Stampede float with a bunch of people sitting on it, laughing and waving at everyone standing by waiting for it to pass.
They waved and called out, “Yahoo!” and I waved back.
I did not yell out, “Yahoo!” That felt silly.
Which is what struck me most. How concerned I was with the opinion of strangers.
The desire to not look silly, to not make a scene, is buried deep in my psyche. Perhaps it stems from childhood when I was always spinning and laughing and chattering about this and that and continually calling out for the attention of the adults around me.
Don’t be so ridiculous. Stop making a fool of yourself. Stop it! People are looking. Calm down…
My monkey-mind critter knows these phrases well. He likes to repeat them in the most inopportune times and while I know he’s only trying to protect me, his concern is grating. His caution limiting.
Like when I want to feel part of the excitement going on all around me, and he reminds me not to do it because he fears I’ll look foolish.
How silly is that?
A bunch of people are riding by on a float doing exactly what I’m afraid to do because I’m worried others will look at me and say, “Look at that silly person!” People in all likelihood whom I will never see again, I might add!
How often does that happen to you? You want to leap in but hold yourself back from taking the plunge because you might look too enthusiastic. Too excited. Too different. Too… silly?
Let it go.
Let laughter be your answer. Let your enthusiasm carry you away from holding back and leap in!
It’s okay. People may not think you’re silly. They may actually think, I wish I was courageous enough to do that too!
It’s stampede time in the city. There’s all sorts of yahooing! goin’ on! Think I’ll saddle up and ride me a cowboy! No! Wait! That’s rude. That’s not appropriate! Real women don’t talk like that! At least that’s what the critter says.
But it is kinda funny that ole’ expression. Sort of a ‘turn the tables on the cowmen kind of talk.
Nevertheless, let sanity and good taste reign. What I meant to say was… Think I’ll saddle up and join the parade!