Missing. Not Lost… yet…

For our fifth anniversary, C.C., my beloved, gave me a beautiful sapphire and diamond ring. I promptly removed my original wedding and engagement rings and took to wearing it only.

I’m not a big jewellry person and loved both the symmetry and simplicity of the ring, and how it looked on my hand.

Saturday, when Beaumont the Sheepadoodle and I returned from the park I took off my gloves to discover… my ring was missing.

Dusk had already set in which meant it was too dark to go back to the park to search for it. Yesterday, as soon as the light permitted, Beau and I headed back to the park to do a search.

There were two possible places I thought it might have come off when I removed my gloves. 1) when I sat on a bench to take off my left boot to dump out a piece of gravel;

2) when I took off my gloves to clean up after Beau did his business.

Alas, after spending time searching in the morning and evening, I have not yet succeeded in finding my ring. Dried grasses and leaves cover the ground everywhere making spotting it difficult.

We’ll return this morning for another look — I’ve ordered a metal detector which will be here tomorrow. Until I’ve exhausted all avenues, I won’t give up.

It is both a strength and a weakness.

The never giving up.

When I was doing Investor Relations consulting, a client likened me to a Terrier because, in his words, I never gave up fighting to get the attention of analysts. It worked well for the client.

My mother used to throw up her hands and tell me to ‘give it up’ when I wouldn’t stop wanting to talk about things that had not gone well between us. That did not work well for our relationship.

Right now, my ring is missing. I am not willing to give up looking for it. Not only is it precious to me, (and very expensive) it was a one of a kind

And, because it’s still in the missing category in my mind, I can’t give up searching for it. Last year when I lost my phone and keys somewhere in the bushes, I couldn’t give up until I found them – and I did!

But then there’s the time, in my 20s, when I lost my beautiful silver necklace and bracelet my grandmother sent me from India — I searched and searched and never did find them — which is where the challenge comes in. I still think about that necklace and bracelet.

I have to let them go.

Which is really where my ring comes in today — it isn’t about the ring. It’s about thinking about it incessantly.

Not one of my greater qualities. Ask my beloved… I can become fixated. On fixing things. Righting wrongs. And even, changing the world.

While I regret the missing of my ring, I am grateful for its reminder to not become so fixated on ‘the thing’ that is lost that I miss the value of letting go.

And yup. I’m trying to trick my mind into getting itself righted — because the regret of not noticing when it fell off is tiring. I can’t change what happened. I can only work with how I deal with it — and the regret of its loss is far too heavy to carry.


PS — about the photo:

I spent time on the weekend making more bookmarks to go with my She Dares Boldly calendars. Every calendar purchased comes with a hand-painted She Dares Boldly bookmark! Check it out on my Etsy store!

21 thoughts on “Missing. Not Lost… yet…

  1. are you certain you had it on?

    meaning, have you looked in the usual ‘resting places’ in your home – just in case it’s not lost in the bushes?

    good hunting!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Louise, being such a special gift I can well understand you don’t easily let go.
    I was wondering same as Mark, had you taken it off for some reason. Doing a task at home.
    Or was it very loose fitting. I wish you good luck and am sure you will with time let
    it go.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Alas — it is also a reminder to take care of the details – I have been saying to myself for quite some time… I should get my ring resized.
      I have this sense that it could be in the house — I remember a moment yesterday when I heard something fall — I just don’t remember where I was — so… I breathe into the mystery and am settling into letting what will appar, appear — like in my art. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Letting go of our attachments is a big part of the yoga/spiritual journey. When I lose something, I step back, relax and call on the universe to show me where it is. And it usually works… I hope you come across your ring. πŸ’›πŸ™πŸ’›

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Have faith! It will show up when you least expect to find it. It is not about the ring, it’s what it means to you. That bond with C.C. Is stronger than anything tangible.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So heartbreaking – I can feel the loss in your words, and I’m really sorry. Avery recently lost an earring – it was the first set of jewelry I bought from her, and we know that it is more than the monetary loss, and even ‘replacing’ the item, doesn’t make it the same – there is history and a lot of emotion tied up in special items.

    Please let us know if you’d like some tag alongs and another set of eyes to look for it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are so kind Dustin! Thank you. I’m so sorry about Avery’s earrings — I have a lot of one earring mateless earrings — I’m trying to teach myself with being oaky with wearing mis-matched… it’s a struggle! πŸ™‚

      and you are so right, replacing it doesn’t make it the same.

      I”ll let you know re taggin along! Beaumont would definitely enjoy the company! πŸ™‚


  6. Oh I know what you’re talking about, dear friend! I’m getting pretty good at ‘letting go’ but easy it ain’t! When we finally sold our beautiful French house, it ‘went’ with a tremendous financial loss, one we will never recover in any form. But what hurt me more than the dearly missed €s is the things we couldn’t get out before the pandemic. Things (not persons, MEMORIES attached to things) from earlier years, when we lived in England, stuff I collected with love and stories attached here and there, from other countries and other times…. there was no way to get them back – I had to let them go. Many attachments to my first husband, fond memories and furniture chosen and made to my wishes – gone never to be seen again. People I once cherished more than myself – had to let them go. Still hurts now, years and years later!
    If it’s meant for you to find your precious ring, you might find it – if not, it would be very sad. And it most probably isn’t insured either?! I had a friend who talked to me when her then husband cheated on her: I will still have his diamond ring, which is my ‘return ticket’ to my home town…. it was – in the end – ‘just an airplane ticket’! No fond memories. HH looses ‘everything’ – he hasn’t worn a watch since Noah…. he lost several, idem smartphones, puts them on the car roof and drives off on the motorway – when questioned he says: Well, it’s gone, no need to get upset over it…. I wish I could have that attitude. But I can’t. Maybe we’ll learn it together?!

    Liked by 1 person

      • I’m thinking of how I could put some currency (how about SFr to make you come and visit one day???? πŸ™‚ – – – – one can dream) in an envelope or whatnot. By now I’m quite hooked on the thought to have you with me every day of the next year across those many miles. We’ll sort something out – you and me πŸ˜‰


  7. I have lost jewelry before and have been good at letting it go. But this ring you share about, I would have a hard time too, I know. It is indeed a blessing in so many ways to not give up, yes, and it becomes a difficult thing when having to let go something so precious. Humbly sharing a process that does give results I like to believe – talk to the ring, become very silent and ask of it to be revealed to you. Easy for me to say, I know but still I will say it – things usually come back on their own time when we stop fixating and simply asking. Wishing you the best.

    Liked by 2 people

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