She Dares to Capture the Beauty in all Life’s Imperfections

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I have been an infrequent visitor to my studio lately. Life and all its happenings, projects to complete that don’t require paint but do require creative presence, new 3 days a week work for a not-for-profit (I’m loving it!), visiting my grandchildren as often as I can (and my daughter and son-in-love too!) plus just day-to-day living with Beaumont the Sheepadoodle and my beloved, have consumed me.

And then there’s the vegging-out piece. You know. The “I’m too tired to dive into creative expression. I think I’ll spend time amidst others’ expressions!” Which means flipping open my laptop and losing myself in some Netflix/Prime fodder.

I tell myself, “It’s okay. You deserve the break.”

But here’s the real deal.

It’s not a ‘break’ when it is stealing my sense of balance, wholeness, centredness.

It is not a break when it pulls me away from what I love doing – exploring my creative expression.

So, I’ve made a deal with myself.

I give myself space to ‘veg-out’ if I first let out what is calling to be expressed. Because I know this very deeply within me — there is always something calling to be expressed, even when I pretend I can’t hear it or feel it!

And, because I’m pretending I don’t know it’s there, I allow myself to become lost in movie fodder.

So here’s my deal — it’s okay to ‘veg-out’ if I first let-out some artsy fodder in my studio!

Now… you may want to say, “Give yourself a break Louise. Everyone needs time-out.”

And it’s true. We do.

But I know me.

I am a ‘compulsively-excessive’ personality. I get into things and can’t/won’t/don’t stop. Which means… if I start a series on Netflix, I don’t stop until I’m done – even if it’s a crap series. Just ask my beloved – He suggested a series to me on the weekend and I said, “I don’t dare start a new series. I’ll get trapped in it and I don’t want to get lost. Again” I just finished watching 4 seasons of a terrible series — but I wouldn’t stop watching it!

So… rather than taunting myself with the idea I can only watch 1 episode, I simply do not begin!

Problem solved. 🙂 For now.

In the meantime, I am feeling so much more alive and enlivened after working in my studio all weekend on bookmarks that I include with every purchase of my “She Dares Boldly” desktop calendar, and then, diving into more images and quotes for the #SheDaresBoldly series.

I am cultivating my capacity to ‘let go and let become’ to allow that which is seeking to be expressed, appear.

I am cultivating my trust in the process of allowing the ‘I wonder if I do this…’ and then doing whatever that wonderment is just to see what will happen. Like using pastels through a stencil over inks — cool!

And, I am cultivating the habit of turning up for myself, everyday at my studio table in a state of excitement, curiosity, fearlessness and gratitude.

Excitement ignited by the mysteries I’m about to explore.

Curious about what will happen when I simply let go and be present.

Fearless in my willingness to listen deeply to my intuition (and the muse) and not judge nor doubt (or try to manipulate) their voice.

And Gratitude for this magical, mysterious, mystical world in which I have the privilege to play and be and create and learn and grow and experience and capture such richness, aliveness and beauty.

Namaste

21 thoughts on “She Dares to Capture the Beauty in all Life’s Imperfections”

  1. I met someone once who described himself as ‘excessive compulsive’ … which sounds eerily like your ‘compulsively-excessive’ description

    nothing wrong with being and knowing who you are

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  2. Oh, i do like today’s painting. What a message – assertively positive. My life has meaning ergo I have something that needs doing.
    Don’t dwell on any guilt feelings that you are not doing stuff. Life’s funny like that. My studio sat deserted for several months, not for lack of projects or anything, I just did not feel like walking through that door. I did other things, I accomplished some stuff, others are in various stages of getting done, is there a rush? Is there a need? Does my ego need fulfilling constantly? Simple answer is NO. The periods of rest, relaxation lead to contemplation, sometimes even planning. Then the mood strikes and I walk through the door – life is fine.

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    • Life is most definitely fine Iwona! I think because you choose for it to be so. Your attitude, verve, integrity create that fineness with such grace!
      Thanks my friend for reminding me to be okay with what is…. appearing…. not appearing…happening… not happening… becoming… disappearing… It is all in the flow.

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    • Oh wow! What About You! I think it’s time for you to renew… What About You!

      You truly are amazing — and wow! Right on! Dude (that’s me trying to be ‘hip’! 🙂 )

      I hope everybody goes and downloads it — we all need to hear your words.

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      • hahaha I kinda look like The Dude from The Big Lebowski. I hope many people hear it as well, but I am honoured that some people actually take time from their lives to listen. That is a blessing all it’s own.

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    • Ian, first of all – what a great song! Congrats. But do you still have any voice left? I’m hoarse just listening through to the end of your altruistic song! I say that as a choir singer where this would probably be counted as voice-waste…. although I must say it has so much more power that way – sometimes singing nicely just won’t do!

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      • Sometimes I use my choirboy voice, here, I did it in 2 sessions, as I wasn’t delighted with the background vox. I wanted them to be more confident sounding . I can sing with “burn” without destroying my voice. Don’t forget that singing using a mic is different from trying to project without (à la opera). I am fortunate in that I can sing Rock and Roll all night! I can also sing Jazz ballads all night, and both if I need to, and still be ok the next day.

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  4. Apart from the fact that I like this work – of course I do – your friend Ian gave me much food for thought. I have come to ‘hate’ the word atruism – because that was me for a too long time. Already when I worked in an International company, my then best friend said to me: I’ve honestly never met and will never meet somebody more altruistic than you….
    I returned to my work place and checked out the meaning of the word in my self-bought huge lexicon (a Webster I bought with money I couldn’t really spare when I worked in T’ranaaa). I didn’t even know what was meant at the time.
    Then, much, much later I learned to look after myself too – and boy, life just got so much better!
    My flight from duties or stuff is still always ‘grabbing a book and read’ – and I forget the world, the cooking waiting in the kitchen, dirty dishes, plants waiting to be watered….. I’m lost to the world. And this ‘me’ time is doing wonders. You do your art work; I haven’t even sufficient drive to do much with my photo work, I write much, I phone with ppl I know who need to be called, I invite folks to meals, but mostly, I’m happy with my own company. I daren’t thinking of how to spend my days once HH will be taking retirement.

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    • “My flight from duties or stuff” and what a beautiful flight it is my friend! I too can fall into a book and be lost (used to drive my mother crazy when I was a teenager!) Hmmm…. maybe that’s why I did it? 🙂 Nah. I love to read. So much joy in words on a page coming to life in my imagination. As to retirement — I tried that… I like this state of being better! 🙂

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  6. That painting I simply love it and I love Her!!!

    I was magically immersed in your post and this had me sit up straight – It’s not a ‘break’ when it is stealing my sense of balance, wholeness, centredness.

    You spoke so clearly to me there on. I do need to chill and playfully slow down and yet I tend to slide down exactly how you describe – calling it relaxation, letting go. I hear you – I do not stop until I am done with a Netflix series, there is weird justification to it that even I don’t agree with!!!

    I totally am capable of keeping myself trapped away from the Wonderment waiting – I do wish to wonder and simply follow the unfolding. What a thin edge there is to all of this!! Thank you for your post that nudged and inspired 💛😊

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    • Thank you for acknowledging our shared ‘condition’ of “keeping ourselves trapped away from the Wonderment waiting’ so beautifully Pragalbha.

      And yes, it is a thin edge.
      Yesterday, I was tired after a full day of zoom meetings — I went into my studio as that is my commitment to myself — to sit at my studio desk every day — be it for 10 minutes or several hours. Just before I sat down, I got notification of a sale of 6 of my She Dares Boldly calendars. It was all the inspiratoin I needed to work on creating more bookmarks to go with my calendars when I ship them.

      A small task. Big joy.

      That hour of mindful play filled me with the grace of being present within the moment, at ease in the flow.

      And it felt just as you called it — like Wonderment unfolding. Thank you! <3.

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  7. Really love this piece! My hubs refuses to binge watch shows on netflix. If he likes it, he’ll only watch one episode a week. WTH? Right? I have no idea how he does this. I cannot.
    Nice to hear you’re back in the studio. So cool you made your pieces into an inspirational calendar!

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  8. Oooooh this post warms my heart so much! I resonate with it deeply. I often convince myself I’m taking a break because I deserve it, but deep down I’m just running away from the imposter syndrome or the possibility of not having the desired outcome of my creative work, or something similar. But what’s even deeper below that is an enormous desire and NEED to create and express myself, no matter in what way and how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ will it be. And every time I run away from it, I take away from myself that which I need the most.

    And that last line is just so precious and I couldn’t agree more!

    Thank you so much for these words!

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    • Thank you so much Julija for your fabulous comment — and for inspiring me to stop running away too! I love this, “running away from the imposter syndrome or the possibility of not having the desired outcome of my creative work” — soooooo true!

      I just took a peek at your blog — love its name and your tagline, “Soul in visual form.” Oooohhhh!!!! That makes my heart skip and my soul dance. I’ll be back to stay awhile – once I spend time in my studio today that is! 🙂 ❤

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