Silently, it rolled in from the west, snaking up the river valley, a soft gauzy blanket of white obscuring all that it enveloped.
I watched its approach. My eyes straining to see through its ethereal nature.
This is the way of falling asleep. The way of losing sight of clarity, of all that is real and true in life.
I watched the fog roll in and remembered a time when I lived within its depths. When my world felt like I was breathing shallowly in the marshmallow stickiness of lies and deceit that encompassed my entire being.
Those were the days when I was lost in dreams of shortcuts to happiness. When I believed in happily-ever-after.
And then I awoke to the dark and unforgiving truth that I was lost on the road to hell.
Frightened and trapped in my fear, I could not breathe deeply. I could not see my hands in front of my face, or feel my feet on the earth.
Terrified I would never find myself again, I became lost in a world of hopelessness.
And then, the fog lifted and I could see the world around me. I could feel my hands touching my face, my feet touching the earth.
Found again, I breathe deeply as the mist rolls in.
There is beauty in the mist gently undulating along the river valley.
The beauty is not in losing sight of the world but in knowing, no matter what the weather outside, I am safe, here, in this place where I stand in the eye of my truth. In this place, what happened then is nothing compared to what I am creating in my life today, day by day, standing true in me, myself and I.
We all get lost on the road of life. We all lose our way. Whether for a day, a month, a year or years, it does not have to be forever.
We can awaken.
We can step out of the mist. We can claim our place in the centre of our world.
For me, it took a miracle and a deep desire to seek forgiveness, to be forgiven and to forgive. It took believing that I was worthy or more than abuse and lies and deceit. It took believing that I am worthy of Love. Of self. Of others. It took believing I am worthy of life.
This morning, I watched the mist roll in and remembered the wonder and awe of being alive.
This morning, I watched the mist snaking up the river valley and saw the beauty of its gentle nature caressing the trees that line the water’s edge. In its memory I saw the beauty of my world today and gave thanks.
I am so blessed.