Category Archives: aging with grace

Blame Game: Aging Brain or Modern Life? What’s Behind Your Shrinking Attention Span

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Remember when you could lose yourself in a good book for hours? Or watch a movie without checking your phone? If those days seem distant, you’re not alone. Research suggests our attention spans are indeed shrinking.

In one study, the average person’s focus lasted a mere 8 seconds before switching – shorter than a goldfish! More recent findings put us at 47 seconds, a far cry from the 2.5 minutes measured just twenty years ago.

What’s really going on with my aging brain?

In the digital whirlwind of our world today, it’s easy to fear that our brains are showing the wear and tear of modern life. But by reclaiming our focus, we can counter those fears and age with grace and intention. Because, let’s face it. It’s not all about our aging brains. Along with the accessibility of digital information, when you throw in the stress of a pandemic, it’s no wonder our attention spans are feeling the strain. We’re constantly bombarded with news updates, TikTok trends, and notifications galore. This constant stream of notifications and content are training our brains to crave novelty and quick hits of information. Our brains are practically being rewired to jump from one thing to the next, always seeking the next quick hit of dopamine. It’s like we’re training ourselves to have the attention span of that goldfish!

But there’s hope. As we age, many of us yearn for a slower pace, for the ability to savour moments and be present. Strengthening our attention span is a vital step in that direction.

Five Simple Practices to Reclaim Your Focus

  1. Embrace Mindfulness: Daily mindfulness practice, like meditation or journaling (with pen and paper!), can train your brain to stay in the present moment.
  2. Spend Time in Nature: Leave your phone behind and immerse yourself in the natural world. Simply observing the sights and sounds can be incredibly calming and restorative.
  3. Ditch the Devices (Sometimes): Yes, it can be scary to disconnect, but the rewards are worth it. Challenge yourself to leave your phone at home for a few hours and rediscover the joys of real-world experiences.
  4. Engage in Long-Form Activities: Read a whole book, listen to a long-form podcast, write a letter – activities that require sustained focus can rewire your brain for deeper engagement.
  5. Practice Self-Compassion: Don’t beat yourself up if your mind wanders. Building new habits takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself, celebrate small victories, and keep at it.

Aging with Grace and Focus

As we age, the fear of mental decline is not uncommon, but it doesn’t have to be our reality. By actively nurturing our attention span, as well as our overall well-being through exercise, diet and lifelong learning, we can counter those fears and live each day with intention and clarity.

What are you doing to keep your mind sharp and engaged? Share your tips in the comments below!

Which Path Will You Choose?

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Perhaps one day, you’ll stand at a crossroads, faced with a choice of which path to take. To the left, the road less travelled, obscured by mist and mystery. To the right, the well-worn path, visible with its straight lines and predictability. You see its potholes and debris, but you know you can navigate them. You’ve done it before. Why would tomorrow be any different?

As you stand at this crossroads, you glance back at the road behind and see all you’ve been through to get here: trials, tribulations, and traumas. So many hardships. They weigh heavy on your heart, but like the road, they are familiar, so you hold onto them.

Standing at the crossroads, staring at the past, you tally up the years behind, noting they outnumber the years ahead. Dare you choose a different path?

You gaze into the distance of the unknown path to the left, shrouded in mist, and then to the one you know so well to the right. Both will lead to the end of the road. But which to choose? The path to the left, full of adventure, mystery, and wonder, or the right, where predictability offers the ease you tell yourself you deserve.

Perhaps, in your indecision, you’ll look again at the path behind you. Instead of trials and tribulations, you’ll see mountains climbed, stumbles and falls over which you triumphed, and lessons learned that enriched your journey. You’ve traveled this road, falling and rising, again and again, until you arrived at this moment where you must choose: to carry the burdens of the past that weigh you down but feel so familiar, or to stand in your brilliance and celebrate your strength hard-won, courage earned, and resilience gathered on the journey.

Which will you choose?

I hope you honour your brilliance. I hope you recognize that through every hardship and triumph, you have grown stronger, more powerful, more vibrant, and magnificent. It is this truth that has brought you to this moment, where you stand at the crossroads of the future, deciding which path to take.

Which will you choose? The road most travelled? Or the unknown path, where your heart dances and your soul sings the songs of the wild. Which will you choose?

art and words by Louise Gallagher ©2024

Not Aging, Becoming: Choosing Celebration Over Limitation

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Over the years, I’ve shared my thoughts on various issues through newspaper Opinion Editorials (OpEd). While many have focused on social concerns like homelessness and domestic violence, I’ve recently turned my attention to the topic of aging.

My first piece on aging in the Calgary Herald, “For Baby Boomers still working, you have nothing to fear but your own insecurities,” focused on being an older adult returning to the workforce. “Defying Age, Embracing Audacity: A Senior’s Manifesto,” my latest OpEd on aging, is aimed at celebrating the contributions of older adults and to challenge the notion that our value diminishes with time.

Being a senior myself, I refuse to believe that crossing an invisible age line signifies the end of our contributions. We have so much more to offer!

Recently, while being interviewed for a podcast about career transitions, I was surprised to hear a woman in her early 40s express feelings of irrelevance associated with her age. It struck me that perhaps we, as a society, are prematurely imposing limitations on ourselves.

Why do we create mountains out of aging, as if each passing year necessitates a decrease in self-worth? We lament the difficulties of getting older, reinforcing the notion that ‘aging is hard’. Perhaps, rather than focus on aging, we should focus on the challenges and joys inherent in being human, regardless of age.

The challenge is, the older we get, the more we seem to congregate in pools of anxiety about our accumulating years, shrinking the vast ocean of possibilities into a puddle of perceived limitations.

What if, instead, we chose to celebrate? To embrace our beauty, our flaws, our triumphs, and our tribulations? What if we reframed aging? Rather than it being a process of diminishment we choose to celebrate it as The Art of Becoming More Fully Human?

Imagine reaching the summit of life’s mountain not with a sack of regrets filling our arms, but with arms wide open, ready to cross over into the vast unknown with a heart full of wonder and gratitude, screaming as we take the leap, “Thank you Life! What a Ride!”

Let’s not let age define us. Let’s celebrate the journey of becoming.

Namaste

Untangling the Threads: Breaking Free from Negative Self-Talk

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Have you ever paused to count the negative thoughts that flit through your mind each day? You know the ones: “I can’t…” “What’s wrong with me?” “I just don’t get it.” “Nobody likes me.”

Our minds are a whirlwind of activity, generating an estimated 60,000-80,000 thoughts daily. The unsettling part? Roughly 80% of those thoughts are negative. Yes, even if you consider yourself a positive thinker, a subconscious stream of negativity likely runs beneath the surface.

But here’s the good news: Awareness is the first step towards freedom. By identifying these negative thought patterns, we empower ourselves to make a conscious choice to disempower them.

Moving from unaware to aware to actively choosing a different path is a transformative journey. It requires self-discovery, vulnerability, and a fierce desire to break through the barriers that hold us back. It’s about moving from “playing small” to living our dreams in vibrant, technicolor glory.

3 Simple Steps to Untangle the Threads:

  1. Identify: Start by noticing your negative thoughts. Write them down when they arise. Look for patterns – What triggers them? What themes emerge? Common culprits include “all-or-nothing” thinking, catastrophizing, and disqualifying the positive.
  2. Reframe: Challenge those negative thoughts. Are they really true? What evidence do you have to support them? Can you think of alternative, more positive interpretations? For example, instead of “I’m a failure,” try “I’m learning and growing through this experience.”
  3. Step Away: Don’t engage in a battle with your thoughts. When negativity arises, acknowledge it, reframe it if possible, and then let it drift away. Try visualizing yourself stepping away from those thoughts or imagine them floating away like leaves on a stream.

Remember, this is a process. Be patient and kind to yourself. Each time you catch a negative thought, you’re strengthening your ability to choose a more positive path.

Are you ready to untangle the threads of your inner critic and embrace a brighter, more empowered mindset?

Join me for my free online Masterclass, RADIANT BOLD AGING, 3 Transformative Practices to Ignite Passion & Joy in Your Life Everyday. June 7, 10am (MT). To Register: RADIANT BOLD AGING

Finding Self-Love, Forgiveness and Healing After a Toxic Relationship

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In my MasterClass – RADIANT BOLD AGING, I share what I’ve learned about the power of forgiveness and self-compassion and love in having triumped over an abuse relationship that set me free to love myself completely.

Through a very toxic relationship, I learned that self-hatred is the enemy of freedom, self- denial the path to peridition.

When I escaped that relationship, my priority was to heal myself so I could repair and reclaim the bonds I’d broken with my daughters. Over the almost five years of that relationship, I’d caused them immense pain and betrayed their trust.

In my MC, I share how, while it was easy to want to blame my ex-partner for everything, I knew I was accountable for my actions. The path to regaining their trust and forgiveness started with forgiving myself so that I could be 100% accountable for the pain I’d caused them.

This was a difficult step because I wanted it to be ‘all his fault’. Fact is, to heal myself and my relationship with my daughters, I had to step into my own agency. So, I made a conscious decision to simplify the process of forgiving myself. I repeatedly told myself, “I forgive myself,” without any qualifications or dwelling on past mistakes. It was liberating to let go of the guilt and shame.

Similarly, when thoughts of abuser resurfaced (which in those first heady days of freedom they frequently did), I mentally put up stop signs and redirected my focus to healing and creating a positive future.

The journey to healing wasn’t linear. There were setbacks and moments of doubt, but with each step, I fell deeper and deeper in love with myself AND rekindled the love and connection with my daughters.

Healing is ongoing, and the past still holds some influence in our unconscious, even when we think ‘we’re done with that’. Triggers can emerge enexpectedly. The power is in choosing to step into ‘the mess’ to heal the broken places triggers reveal. I’ve learned to navigate those spaces with forgiveness and self-compassion.

That relationship, though awful for my family and the friends who loved me, strengthened me, my daughters, and all my relationships. My daughter once shared that she didn’t regret it, as it ultimately made us stronger. I agree.

A few years ago, my eldest daughter and I shared our story of healing at a conference. It was challenging but also incredibly rewarding. It was a reminder that I can’t change the past, but I can choose to ‘let it be’ and shape a positive future through forgiveness and love.

This journey taught me to stop seeking fairy tales and to believe in myself. I learned that dreams can come true when we embrace truth, dignity, kindness, and forgiveness.

Most importantly, I discovered the importance of letting go of self-doubt and falling in love with ourselves and our lives.

If you’re interested in falling in love with yourself, in igniting your passion for living free of the past, and instilling more fun and joy into your everyday, join me at RADIANT BOLD AGING, June 7, 10-11:30 am (MT). It’s free and online — you can come as you are — in your pajamas or ball gown!

I hope to see you there.

Does What You Learned in Your Youth Serve You Today?

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As we grow older, we often realize that some of the lessons and advice we received in our youth don’t serve us as well as we thought. Until we are courageous enough to explore these messages, we may find ourselves repeating patterns that no longer benefit us.

Take my experience, for instance. Growing up, my mother always emphasized being ‘nice,’ even when others were rude or unkind. The underlying message was to never express my true feelings. As a result, I often tolerated unacceptable behavior. It wasn’t until later in life that I learned the importance of setting clear boundaries and speaking my truth with kindness. This not only teaches others how to treat us but also ensures we don’t accept the unacceptable as acceptable.

These early lessons can impact us in many areas of our lives, such as:

  • In Our Relationships: Not being able to speak our truth can lead to resentment and misunderstandings in our relationships. When we suppress our true feelings to keep the peace or be ‘nice,’ we may end up feeling unvalued and resentful. This can create a cycle of dissatisfaction and conflict, undermining the very relationships we are trying to preserve.
  • In Our Schooling: These lessons can keep us underachieving, not reaching our full potential because we don’t believe we’re capable or deserving. On the other hand, they might push us to overachieve, striving for perfection and setting ourselves up for a life filled with constant stress and anxiety.
  • In Our Careers: Not standing up for ourselves or setting clear boundaries can hold us back from achieving the success we desire. We might not advocate for the raises or promotions we deserve, or we might take on too much work to please others, leading to burnout.

The key to breaking these patterns is courage. We need to be brave enough to question and explore these messages from our past. Only then can we begin to reshape them into healthier, more empowering beliefs.This journey of exploration and growth is a key focus of my program, “The ReWrite Journey.” In this course, we delve into our lifelines and explore the values and beliefs we formed based on our experiences. We then examine how the decisions we made in the ‘there and then’ shape our lives and can become limiting in the ‘here and now’ if they are not aligned with our true values. For instance, I believe in kindness, but without setting clear boundaries that respected me, I ended up feeling frustrated and disrespected, because the core underlying belief I’d unintentionally learned in childhood was, ‘my voice doesn’t matter’ Aka – I don’t matter.

By understanding and realigning our beliefs, we can create a life that honours our true values and supports our well-being.

So, there’s the invitation–What’s one piece of advice or wisdom you received in your childhood or teenage years that, in hindsight, turned out to be less helpful or even misguided? How has recognizing and addressing this affected your life? I invite you to share your experiences in the comments below — when we share our courage to be brave and vulnerable, we inspire others to take the journey of growth and self-discovery.

If you’re interested in exploring these concepts further, I invite you to chat with me about “The ReWrite Journey.” I’ve just begun with a new cohort but it’s not too late to join the journey! All things are possible when we uncover the beliefs holding us back and rewrite them to align with our true values, so that we can live a more empowered and fulfilling life.

From Giving to Living: Balancing Self-Care with Caring for Others

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Throughout our lives, especially as women, we often prioritize caring for others over ourselves. Whether as mothers, partners, friends, or colleagues, we frequently extend compassion and care outward, sometimes leaving very little for ourselves.

As we age, this pattern can persist if we do not consciously assess our own self-care practices. Proper self-care is crucial for living fully and passionately. It not only enhances our ability to care for others but also protects us from accumulating resentment and bitterness. Constantly prioritizing others can lead to an empty well of empathy and compassion.

Many factors contribute to neglecting self-care, including childhood conditioning, societal expectations, and a lack of self-belief. Without examination, these habits can lead to perpetual feelings of fatigue, burnout, and emptiness.

That’s why I’ve created the ‘Self-Care Check-In,’ a simple yet powerful tool to assess your self-care habits.

Why Reflective Journaling? Reflective journaling makes our thoughts and feelings tangible, allowing us to address often overlooked needs, desires, and well-being. This exercise encourages you to pause and ask whether you treat yourself with the same kindness and love you offer others.

In reflective journaling, there’s no judgment—only curiosity and empathetic acceptance. It opens a space for awareness, helping you explore possibilities for more loving self-care practices.

Self-Care Isn’t Just Pampering It’s about recognizing our worth and making ourselves a priority. By responding to specific questions through journaling, we can gauge our current self-care practices and identify steps to integrate better self-care into our daily routines.

Remember, the way we treat ourselves sets the stage for how we interact with the world, especially as we embrace the bold and brilliant years of our lives.

Let’s Get Started:

  1. Open your journal to a new page and title it ‘Self-Care Check-In.’
  2. At the top right-hand corner of the page, write a large A+. You’ve already started practicing positive self-care by showing up on the page—that deserves an A+.
  3. Below are four questions to help you assess your self-care. Please answer spontaneously, without overthinking.
    • Physical Self-Care: “What is one physical activity I did for myself today? (e.g., stretching, walking)”
    • Emotional Self-Care: “What is one thing I did today to make myself feel loved or supported?”
    • Mental Self-Care: “What is one thing I did today that brought me peace or rest?”
    • Gratitude: “What is one thing I am grateful for about myself today?”

After answering these questions, reflect on which area was most challenging and consider what steps you can take to improve self-care in that area.

For me, emotional self-care requires daily conscious effort. What about you?

I’d love to read your thoughts and experiences. Please share them in the comments below.

______________________________

We explore Self-Care and what holds us back from extending it to ourselves in my 8 week program, The ReWrite Journey.

I’ll be starting a new cohort Monday, May 13th at 5:30pm MT.

Gift yourself time to explore the art of ageless living with The ReWrite Journey.

Learn more HERE

How Will You Be Remembered?

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True or False? Most of us like to believe we are unforgettable—that when we pass away, our memories will continue to live in the hearts and minds of those we love.

The truth is, we all hope to be remembered.

But here’s the catch: for how many generations will we be remembered? Do you know the first name of your great-grandfather? His birthplace? What he was most proud of? Like most people, you probably know details about one or two generations back, but beyond that, memories tend to fade.

It’s not just the passage of time that causes the threads of memory to weaken; it’s also distance. The further removed we are from the lives of those who came before us, the easier it becomes to not look back.

So, how do we weave golden threads of memory that not only last but guide and inspire future generations?

This is where The ReWrite Journey comes into play. My two-month course is designed specifically for women over 50 who are seeking to leave a meaningful legacy. Through this journey, participants will discover strategies to document their lives, articulate their experiences, and express their values, ensuring that their legacies are not just remembered but cherished.

In The ReWrite Journey, we do more than just recount the past; we reshape how the future remembers us. By actively planning our ‘age journey,’ we create a tapestry of memories that not only tell our story but also serve as a beacon for others to follow.

Are you ready to ensure that your life is not just lived but remembered? Join me on The ReWrite Journey, and let’s start weaving those golden threads together.

To further enrich your journey towards a meaningful legacy, I invite you to join my Free Online transformational masterclass, Radiant Bold Aging. This is an opportunity for you to delve deeper into the art of vibrant living and legacy building. Together, we will explore innovative strategies and insights that empower you to embrace your later years with enthusiasm and grace. Don’t miss this chance to transform your tomorrow.

Sign up today for RADIANT BOLD AGING – May 2, 5pm – 6:30pm (MT) and take the first step towards your radiant and bold future!

Why be a Princess when you can be Queen?

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As young girls, we reveled in fairytales, enchanted by princesses who slept for a century, spun straw into gold, or toiled under the harsh commands of wicked stepmothers. We admired their beauty and grace, yet seldom questioned their lack of autonomy. These princesses, perennially waiting for rescue, mirrored a narrative that offered no guide on harnessing our intrinsic strengths. Just like the incomplete princess awaiting Prince Charming, the roadmap for growing older and claiming our queenly powers was conspicuously absent, leaving us to navigate for ourselves the road through dormant potential to becoming women brimming with passion, wisdom, and joy.

As women over 50, we’ve traversed the dense forests of life’s challenges and triumphs. We’ve built careers, nurtured families, and endured the relentless grind of daily responsibilities. Through it all, we’ve cultivated a formidable power—the power of experience and wisdom.

In my transformative masterclass, ‘Radiant Bold Aging,’ I delve into the incredible strength, courage, and resilience we possess. Despite hardships and losses, we’ve persevered, gathering wisdom and courage with each challenge faced.

Now, at this pivotal age of embracing our ‘Queen Within,’ it is precisely this courage, strength, resilience, and wisdom that we must lean into enrich and illuminate our path forward.

For decades, we prioritized the needs of others, often sidelining our own. But what if we shifted this balance? What if we placed our desires, our ambitions, our wellness at the forefront? Imagine the boundless possibilities when we focus on cultivating our inner sovereignty.

This journey isn’t about discarding our past; it’s about building upon the vast reservoir of skills and insights we’ve accumulated. It’s about recognizing that we have always been the heroines of our own stories—not waiting to be saved, but actively saving ourselves and, in doing so, setting a powerful example for those around us. And through this process, we chart the very map that was absent when we were children, captivated by the tales of princesses in a land far, far away. A map that will guide women, not yet at the threshold of their Queendom, navigate the road ahead.

Join me at RADIANT BOLD AGING as we explore what it means to truly rule our own lives with soul-driven grace, resilience, wisdom, and power.

To register for RADIANT BOLD AGING, tomorrow at 4pm MT click the photo below.

To link readers to my registration page for Radiant Bold Aging

Dare to Claim Your Right to be Your Own Queen

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There comes a time in every woman’s life when dreams of being a fairytale princess evolve into the realization that to fully embrace their potential, they must step into the next chapter and claim their right to be queen in their own lives. It’s time to reign over their Queendom and sit upon the throne of their own design.

Yet, too often, we hesitate. We stall and forestall. We tell ourselves we can’t step out and shine brightly or sing loudly—just in case others take notice. Just in case they talk, mock, or shun us.

Enough.

We are born to shine. We are born to cast off the limiting beliefs that push us into the shadows, dimming our light and our capacity to make a difference.

It’s one of the many gifts of aging. The realization that only we hold our unique gifts, and holding them tight denies the world the possibilities that open up when we share them.

Recently, someone asked if I feel self-conscious when speaking into the camera. “Feeling self-conscious is a form of false humility,” I replied. “I do it to inspire other women to do the same. Why feel self-conscious when what I’m doing is modeling bravery?”

Years ago, I wrote a story for my daughters called “Princess Iwannabe.” At the time, they were preteens, and I wanted to inspire them to cast off the need to fit in so that they could carve their own paths.

Princess Iwannabe resisted taking up her Queenly duties, preferring instead to sit around eating bonbons, waiting for her Prince Charming. When told she had to learn the duties of a Queen, she ran away from the castle. She had many adventures and ultimately discovered that the Prince Charming she was waiting for was never coming. Instead, she was waiting for herself to wake up to her own power.

Awakened, I am standing in my power and claiming my right to be Queen in my own life.

What about you?

Are you ready? Will you dare to cast off self-doubt and fear to step beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone into a whole new era of living wild and free in the land of your own Queendom?

Are you ready?