Category Archives: Dare Boldly: No matter your age

Are you a joy robber? – How to stop stealing your own joy.

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It’s bone-chillingly cold as Beaumont the Sheepadoodle and I embark on our early morning walk. An Arctic wind has ushered in a skiff of snow and ice-cold air overnight.

Bundled up against the cold, my face is hidden beneath a scarf, my body enveloped in my puffy winter coat. Reminiscent of my mother’s nightly prayer beads clicking together, the cleats on my boots crunch into the icy road, punctuating the still, dark morning.

Despite my silent pleas for warmer air, Mother Nature seems indifferent. Beaumont, ever joyful, is oblivious to the cold.

Our walk is a quiet journey through pre-dawn light, where street lamps pierce the enveloping darkness, guiding us forward.

Despite the frigid air, the beauty of the morning is undeniable.

My beloved and I are visiting friends in Canmore, a mountain town west of Calgary. They’ve recently settled into their stunning new home nestled on the mountainside, offering breathtaking views from every window.

Before leaving yesterday morning, I devoted a few hours to crafting the first post-session email for the “ReWrite Journey” course I’ve designed and am facilitating. This course, aimed at rewriting life stories, began its first session on Monday evening with a group of seven women. It was an inspiring, invigorating, and heartwarming experience, filled with shared stories, insights, and reflections.

This morning, as I sat in the tranquility of our friends’ home,journalling and watching daylight unveil the snowy landscape, a deep sense of contentment and joy filled my heart.

Reflecting on my journalling, I realized how proud I am of creating and leading this course. And at the same time, a seemingly automatic negative thought (some people call them ANTS) entered my mind with the severity of the Arctic winds that blew in last night. ‘What took you so long to do this?’ my critter mind asked in its querulous voice. Ouch.

Hearing its judgement, I asked myself the question, ‘What does this mean?’ – my habit of celebration of something I’ve achieved followed by an immediate questioning of myself and my accomplishment?

This introspection revealed a crucial insight: too often, self-judgment curtails joy. There is immense joy in creating something meaningful and witnessing its impact on others. Yet, the habitual self-critique, the feeling of not being enough, can so easily overshadow this joy.

Limiting joy in life is a self-defeating game.

It’s time to dismantle this game and replace it with thoughts and actions that celebrate and support my journey, acknowledging that I am exactly where I’m meant to be.

What about you? Do you find yourself diminishing your achievements with self-judgment, thus limiting your joy?

How do you confront and dismantle these self-defeating tendencies?

FREE DOWNLOAD: The PDF below suggests 5 ways you can stop stealing your own joy.

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What if you could be someone else’s miracle?

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Have you ever pondered the essence of a miracle? Is it alchemy, divine intervention, or something else that manifests the wonder of dreams coming true, prayers being answered, and wishes fulfilled?

What if the real magic lies in simple acts? Following your intuition to do someone a favour, show kindness to a stranger, or support a friend in need could be all it takes.

What if you could be someone else’s miracle?

Several years ago, while working at an adult emergency homeless shelter, Terry, a client in his 50s, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. His humor, willingness to pitch in, and help out where needed made him well-liked and known by all.

During his final Christmas season, a charity came in to conduct their Christmas Wish List. Terry’s wish was to visit New Orleans during Mardi Gras, not for the party (though he loved to party). For Terry, it was the resilience of the city that called to him. “If New Orleans could come back from Katrina the way it did, maybe if I go there, I’ll be able to come back from this cancer,” he told the young woman who interviewed him for the Wish List.

Touched by his story, she organized with a group of co-workers and friends to raise money to send Terry to New Orleans.

Terry never made the trip, but in her efforts to galvanize community around him, local media became interested in Terry’s story. A few days after an article about Terry appeared in the local newspaper, I received a call from a woman informing me she was married to Terry’s brother, Larry. Terry had been put into care when he was 8. Larry had spent his adult life trying to find his baby brother.

And that’s where the real miracle of Christmas began.

I told Terry about the phone call from his brother’s wife, and five days later, after almost 34 years of searching, Larry and Terry were reunited.

But the miracle didn’t stop there.

Terry had a profound fear of dying alone. In his final moments, it was his long-lost brother Larry who held his hand, a testament to the power of connection and kindness.

And though he never made it to New Orleans, we did hold a Mardi Gras-themed party for him at a local Southern-style pub where over 50 people came to celebrate him and bid him farewell.

It was all a miracle. A miracle that was created by the actions of many people listening to their intuition, compelling them to take action to make a difference in a homeless man’s life.

And, in the end, this quiet, funny, affable man whose life story led him to spend his final years in a homeless shelter was celebrated nationwide. Shortly after his death, Maclean’s Magazine dedicated The Last Page, a monthly feature about notable Canadians who had recently passed away, to Terry’s story.

Truly a miracle.

So, I leave you with this thought: Are you ready to be a miracle in someone’s life? Will you choose to be a force of grace in the world today?

Beyond the Veil

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I awaken, paddle on bare feet into the kitchen, and commence the morning routine—clearing away last night’s dinner dishes (a fabulous meal my cousin Christine prepared for us), brewing coffee, and taking Beaumont, the Sheepadoodle, out for his early morning business. Upon our return, I busy myself puttering around the kitchen, aimless, uncertain of what the day holds.

In moments like these, my Aunt Maggie’s words echo in my mind, “Je dis! Je dis! Je dis!” Though it doesn’t directly translate to “What to do? What to do? What to do?” it perfectly encapsulates my feelings of being adrift, distracted, and wearied—far better than the English version of “I say” (its direct translation) ever could.

It has been a busy few days. I returned from my visit to the coast with my eldest daughter and step-daughter on Thursday evening and later that night, my cousin Christine arrived from France for three days to help us commemorate Jackie’s celebration of life and to represent “The French Connection” as Jackie affectionately called our relatives in France. It was a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with Christine and to practice my (very rusty) French. Perhaps one of my favourite comments over the weekend was Christine’s when she said that she too was feeling good about practicing her English– not to mention becoming adept at translating my French into French! 🙂

During her stay, Christine gently reminded me that we are not, in fact, of French descent. Our roots trace back to Anglo-Indian and Euro-Asian ancestry. Most of our mothers’ family left India in 1947, coinciding with India’s independence and the partition into India and Pakistan. They held French passports and citizenship due to their birthplace in Pondicherry—a French colony until 1947. After departing India, they sought refuge in Vietnam, another French colony at the time. Christine’s father, George, who married my mother’s sister Eveline, had Vietnamese heritage. In 1954, when the French left Vietnam, they migrated to France—a foreign land in many respects. Christine and her siblings, like most of my cousins, were born in France.

But I digress.

Having lived on adrenaline, and a whole bunch of coffee this past while, this morning I feel beyond tired. It’s a unique weariness that settles deep within, making my body feel heavier than my skeleton’s capacity to lift it out of bed. When I awoke this morning, I pondered my choices for quite awhile– Wake C.C. and ask him to make me a latte, delivered in bed, to fuel my morning writing session, or slip out of bed silently, so as not to disturb him and Beaumont, who slumbered at the bed’s end.

I opted for the latter, finding my way into the kitchen and living room where I now sit at my desk, gazing out at the flowing river.

The past two weeks have been consumed by preparations for Jackie’s Celebration of Life—a labour of love alongside my brother-in-law, Jim, and his daughters. The celebration, held on Saturday, was a beautiful tribute that encapsulated everything Jackie would have desired, Jim assured me.

I am grateful. As the officiant, I harbored fears of delivering words that might inflict more pain upon Jim. I worried that I might falter and disrupt the ceremony’s flow.

This was important to me. I wanted to ensure Jackie’s send-off was both a celebration and a heartfelt tribute to my beloved big sister. I wanted everyone present, Jim foremost among them, to feel cocooned in her love and to understand the depth of her wonderful spirit.

I believe it worked. In the reception’s aftermath, several attendees approached me, inquiring if I would officiate their ceremonies when the time came!

These past four weeks have been marked by undue stress, sadness, and sorrow, punctuated by the joy of spending time with my daughters, grandchildren, and sister Anne. While this wasn’t the outcome we had hoped for when Jackie was rushed into surgery and then into the ICU on November 10th, it is the outcome we have been given.

With a heart brimming with love intermingled with sorrow and grief over her absence, I sit and watch the river flow. I recognize that the inevitable conclusion of every life is the end, leading us to spread our wings of love and venture into the profound mystery of the unknown beyond.

In that mystery, there lies the eternal hope—that one day, we shall reunite on the other side.

Namaste.

Morning Pages: The Journey of Self-Recovery

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In March 2007, I embarked on a journey as a blogger, committing to daily writing, seven days a week. This discipline persisted for about five years until life’s complexities – work, responsibilities, and the inevitable “busyness” – prompted me to reassess. Gradually, my posts became less frequent, transitioning from a Monday-to-Friday routine to a more sporadic ‘when inspiration strikes’ schedule.

However, in recently having retired from the workplace, I’ve realized the importance of consistency and discipline, not just in writing but in life. Since stepping away from formal employment, I’ve missed the structure of having to turn up, pay attention and be accountable, not just to myself but to others. For me, ‘a job’ fosters focus and self-discipline in my life. This realization was driven home during my recent solo writer’s retreat in Ireland, where I successfully reintroduced a structured routine into my life. Since returning, I have not touched the project I began on that retreat. It’s become clear: it’s time to embrace this structure once again.

Now, in my defence, amidst the horrific natural and man-made devastation, violence and wars unfolding around the globe, my sister’s health struggles have been a profound emotional journey. She remains in ICU, still in a deep sleep following major surgery over a week ago. My daily visits, standing by her bedside, sharing messages of love and support, have been emotionally draining. This exhaustion has clouded my thoughts, dampening my drive and creativity.

I’ve come to accept that I cannot alter my sister’s path. My role is to hold space for the best for her while continuing to live and create meaningfully in my own life. In this period of emotional turmoil, I confess to succumbing to self-pity. This isn’t self-reproach but a candid acknowledgment, a form of ‘tough loving-kindness’ to break free from the despair and worry engulfing me.

Which is why, in the darkness of an unseasonably warm November morning, I have chosen to mark this day as my turning point. It is time to reconnect to the practices I know create better in my world.

To begin, this morning I revisited a long-abandoned practice: my morning pages, inspired by “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. This practice of free-hand writing three pages daily was once a cornerstone of my creativity, which I had set aside when I began blogging. Today, as part of my recovery process to embrace peace, calm, balance and love in my daily living, I recommit to this and other nurturing practices.

What about you? What practices have you abandoned that once lifted and supported you? Where in your life is there a need to reconnect and recommit to self-care and activities that bring you joy and strength?

What if we embark on this journey of rediscovery and renewal together?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below. Your words inspire me and open gateways for us to create better in the world, together.

Namaste

What’s Your Story? Understanding the Power of Our Personal Narratives

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My sister remains in ICU though she is slowly gaining consciousness. But, here’s the challenge. I was telling myself a story about how helpless I am, how scared and worried I feel.

That story isn’t creating ‘the more’ I want in my life or in my sister’s healing journey. Which is why this morning, I asked myself, Is this story I’m telling myself creating better in my world today or is it acting as a barrier to my being fully present with and for her journey through recovery? ‘Cause, though I am not powerful enough to change my sister’s health, the story I tell myself about it all can either strengthen or weaken me. And if the story I’m telling myself is leaving me feeling discombobulated (and it was), helpless,or as happens in other situations, like a victim or loser, there is only person who can change it. Me.

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, particularly in those moments where you’re feeling like the victim of someone else’se bad behaviour or like life is ganging up on you or those you love, “What story am I telling myself about what’s going on?”

Each of us narrates our life’s journey, often casting ourselves in specific roles – the hero, the victim, or even the villain. These stories are more than mere reflections; they actively shape our reality, influencing our emotions, decisions, and interactions with others, as well as how we feel about ourselves..

Our personal narratives are a tapestry woven from our experiences, beliefs, and emotions. They are intricate and deeply personal, often rooted in our earliest memories. These stories provide a sense of identity and continuity, offering a framework through which we view the world and our place in it.

While these narratives can be empowering, they can also be limiting. When we cast ourselves as perpetual victims or unacknowledged heroes, we might find ourselves trapped in patterns of behavior that prevent personal growth. Our stories might justify feelings of resentment, anger, or sadness, holding us back from forgiveness, empathy, or change.

The first step to reshaping our story is recognizing its existence and influence. This requires introspection and honesty. What roles do we often assign ourselves? How do these roles affect our relationships and choices? Are we stuck in a narrative that no longer serves us?

Once we recognize our narrative patterns, we have the power to rewrite them. This doesn’t mean denying our past or our feelings. Instead, it’ involves reframing’s an invitation to reframe our experiences in a way that empowers us. What if, instead of the victim, we see ourselves as survivors or even victors? Or, instead of the overlooked hero, we view ourselves as quietly influential?

The most empowering narratives are those where we acknowledge our agency and potential. They are stories where challenges are opportunities for growth, and where our past doesn’t dictate our future. In these narratives, we are neither solely victims nor heroes but complex individuals capable of change and growth.

When we shift our stories, the world around us shifts too. We start responding differently to situations, engaging more positively with others, and opening ourselves to new experiences. A new narrative can lead to a more fulfilling, connected, and joyful life.

What story do you want to tell about yourself? It’s an important question that can lead to transformational growth as long as you remember that you are the author of your narrative. Someone else isn’t writing your life story for you. You are. And, because you are the author of your story, you have the power to edit, to rewrite, and to change the course of your story.

To change your story, checkout what story you’re telling about yourself and the circumstances in your life today, and then, choose a narrative that empowers, inspires, and propels you toward your best life yet. Because, no matter your age, your story won’t change until you decide to change it.

Embracing Resilience in the Midst of Uncertainty

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Recently, I’ve felt disoriented and unfocused, a state spurred by my eldest sister’s critical condition in intensive care. It was a challenging period, filled with uncertainty and worry.

However, as the skies cleared this morning, so did my mind. Although my sister remains in the ICU, still reliant on life support, there are glimmers of hope. Each day brings small improvements, a testament to her resilience, and I find solace in each small sign of her recovery.

In moments like these, I’m reminded of John Lennon’s poignant words, ‘Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans.’ Indeed, life’s unpredictability often disrupts our carefully laid plans. But, as Saint Benedict wisely advised, the key is to ‘Begin Again.’

Embracing this philosophy, I’m moving forward, starting with updates for those who inquired about my calendars. They’re now available for shipping. You can order through PayPal HERE or, for eTransfer orders, please send me an email specifying the quantity, and I’ll forward an e-invoice. Thank you for your support!

Returning to ‘regular programming’, I had an interesting conversation during my morning walk in the park. A fellow dog-walker commented on how well I wear my age. It sparked a thought about age and aging and what each age looks like. Firstly, I honestly don’t know what 70 ‘should’ look like. The second is: Is there a ‘right’ way to age? Can we age ‘wrong’?

The fact is, age is not like going out to by a new pair of shoes which, if they don’t fit, you try another size. Age is simply a measure of our time on this planet, nothing more, nothing less.

What truly matters is how we infuse our moments with life and love. Each word, deed, and thought should reflect this. At any age, living life fully means embracing self-love and kindness. This self-love creates ripples of positivity, impacting the world around us.

So, here’s a loving thought I hope you carry forward into your day today — No matter what life brings, cherish and celebrate every moment. Every moment is an opportunity to begin again, to love yourself fully, to appreciate the road before you, with its many bumps and twists and turns, its darkness, shadows and light, and, to embrace each day, each step, each moment, with love, joy and gratitude.

Namaste

5 Essential Steps to rebuilding a habit

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We often embark on a journey to develop new habits with a surge of motivation and determination. However, maintaining that initial enthusiasm is a battle against time and circumstances. It’s surprisingly easy to fall out of a habit, yet reclaiming it demands not just intention, but decisive action.

Habits, whether they are centered on fitness, reading, meditating, or any other discipline, are grounded in routine and consistency. However, life is anything but predictable. An unexpected project at work, illness, or even a change in our daily routine can disrupt our carefully cultivated habits. The problem isn’t just the break in routine, but how we perceive it. If you’re like me, you might beat yourself up for slipping, adding a layer of guilt to the challenge of restarting.

The longer we stay detached from our habit, the larger it looms in our minds, turning into a daunting task we feel less equipped to tackle as time passes. This is where the power of action comes into play.

The Power of Action

To reconnect with a lost habit, action is key. It’s not enough to simply wish to get back on track; we need to set clear, manageable goals and take tangible steps towards them.

  1. Start Small: If you were used to running 5 miles every day and took a break, don’t aim for the 5 miles on your first day back. Start with a mile, or even a brisk walk. The objective is to reignite the routine, not to set a record.
  2. Schedule It: Allocate a specific time for your habit. The act of scheduling makes your commitment more tangible and prioritizes your habit amidst other activities.
  3. Remove Barriers: Identify what’s stopping you. If you’re struggling to find time for reading, try audiobooks during your commute. For exercise, choose a time when you’re least likely to be disrupted.
  4. Celebrate Small Victories: Each day you successfully engage in your habit, no matter how small the effort, is a victory. Celebrate these moments. They are significant milestones on your journey back to consistency.
  5. Don’t Give Up on Yourself: You are worth fighting for. Rebuilding the path back to a habit can feel hard, often because of all the negative chatter that clutters up our brains about it’s all our fault, or we’re such a loser yada, yada, yada. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be loving, in your thoughts and actions. Know, each step you take towards reclaiming your habit is a ‘small significance’ that will build into a big difference.

Falling out of a habit is easy and human. However, reconnecting with that habit is not just about desire; it’s about action. By starting small, scheduling your habit, removing barriers, and celebrating your successes, you can rediscover the path to your goals. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Let that step be yours today. And don’t forget, take that step in loving kindness with yourself.

Epidsode 41 – The BOW Generation — Bolder. Older. Wiser

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I am of that demographic often referred to as ‘Baby Boomers,’ I believe it’s time for a rebrand. Let’s step into the spotlight as the ‘Take a BOW Generation’ — a community that celebrates being Bolder, Older, Wiser.

Society often paints aging as a decline, a burdensome journey of diminishing strength and fading vitality. While it’s true that our bodies evolve with age, this narrative overlooks the profound capacity we have to contribute, regardless of the years under our belts. We can still enact change, influence perspectives, and champion new ideas that dismantle the myth of age as a harbinger of only limitations.

As members of the BOW Generation, we have the power to defy these stereotypes. Let’s assume center stage in our lives, taking a bow for our accumulated triumphs and persisting in our drive to contribute and foster transformation. In doing so, we pave the way towards a world that’s fairer, more just, and equitable for all. A world that doesn’t see aging as a barrier to contributing but an integral part of changing the world.

Because, let’s face it, age is only a barrier if we make it one. Fact is, age is simply a measure of time. As yesterday’s post suggested, the significance of the adage ‘age being just a number’ lies not in the figure itself, but in the experiences and legacies we craft with it.

I invite you to be part of the BOW Generation movement. Celebrate the boldness, the wisdom, and the insights that come with age. Share these gifts joyfully, contributing to a world that embraces every stage of life. Let’s leverage our passion, talents, and unwavering commitment to excel and create impactful, lasting contributions.

I hope you join me. I hope you too — Embrace your age. Share your wisdom. Make your mark.

Today, and every day, let’s be Bolder, Older, and Wiser together.

I hope you’re with me — I’m not ready to bow out yet. I am ready to take a BOW for all I’ve achieved. I hope you are too! I hope you are ready to keep stepping into the spotlight of all that’s yet to come with an open heart and mind!

Namaste

Episode 40: Dare Boldly – Age is More Than Just a Number

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Is age truly just a numerical label? As we accumulate years, it’s impossible not to notice how society’s definition of what it means to be ‘young’ or ‘old’ affects us. The number of years we’ve orbited the sun does more than just increase; it also alters our own perceptions and the perceptions of those around us about age-related expectations. But how valid are these age-related judgments?

As I approach my 70th decade and am writing and talking more about age and aging, I am constantly confronted with societal attitudes towards aging. The adage “age is just a number” is frequently tossed around, yet paradoxically, society at large seems to dismiss this concept in practice. The lack of celebration for the wisdom, milestones and achievements of older adults stands in stark contrast to the fanfare associated with youth. This discrepancy creates needless hurdles that impede the success and contributions of an entire age group.

The truth is, aging should be a cause for celebration, not a source of dread. There’s an inherent beauty in the accumulation of years, a tapestry of wisdom and experience that can only be woven over time. Instead of evading the topic of age, we must confront it head-on, acknowledging that age, in the grand scheme, holds no weight in assessing an individual’s potential or abilities.

Consider the untapped opportunities that lie within the older generation. If we can strip away our entrenched biases and altered expectations, we can unlock a reservoir of potential. Let’s be be bold and audacious! Let’s embrace the myriad possibilities that do not fade with time. Age is a mere chronology; it should never be a barrier to aspirations or accomplishments.

To sculpt a society that celebrates every stage of life, not just those deemed to be in their ‘prime’ we must be willing to carve out space for each of us to live the truth of ‘age is just a number’. If we are to celebrate the spectrum of age in all its glory, then we must encourage everyone to dare boldly, irrespective of the year on their birth certificate. Let’s inspire change where age is not a limiting factor but another facet of our shared human experience. Let’s all, Dare Boldly, no matter our age, in a world where age does not define us.

Where Do You Need To Give Yourself Grace?

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Today, while recording my “Dare Boldly: No Matter Your Age” video, I hit a snag—I couldn’t find the ‘save’ button. A few moments of bewildered consternation later, I realized I hadn’t even stopped the recording. Classic me!

After editing the video and trimming off an unintentional 30-second blooper of my perplexed voice asking the camera why the SAVE button wasn’t there, the clip miraculously fit into the perfect two-minute frame. What a happy accident!

It’s instances like these that reinforce my philosophy: don’t take life too seriously. And to do that, I must choose to joyfully embrace my imperfections and allow myself the grace to just be—without stuffing every moment with activities or obligations.

Yesterday’s wisdom came through David Kanigan’s Live & Learn blog, where he shared a poignant excerpt from Anne Lamott’s reflections on aging in the Washington Post. It spoke of the graces amidst the indignities of growing older, a balance I’m learning to appreciate.

This concept of grace was tangible for me yesterday. With a women’s circle on my schedule and a ticking clock, I decided to film my daily video while in the bath. Yeah, I know. So risqué of me!  In the end, my bathtime filming went down the drain. The sound was horrendous and after two failed attempts to get it right, I decided to simply give up the ‘need’ to post. I was facing a time crunch and when I finally realized the sound was so burbled (I really did sound like I was speaking underwater) not because there was something wrong with my phone, it was because I was covering the microphone with my finger. I know. Class me again! 😊

Anyway, in the end, I chose to give myself the grace of letting go of the self-imposed pressure of daily postings.

This decision provided me with an hour of unexpected leisure at the park with my beloved and Beaumont the Sheepadoodle. It turned into a lesson in self-compassion and finding joy over duty.

When I was younger, I rarely gave myself this kind of room. I was the harsh critic of my own mistakes, but as I’ve aged, I’ve learned to find humor in my quirks and foibles. Growing older has allowed me to be more forgiving with myself and to prioritize humanity over perfection.

It’s one of the many invaluable gifts of aging—the practice of giving ourselves grace. It’s not just about accepting our missteps with a chuckle, but also about recognizing that the spaces between our plans and obligations are where life’s little graces bloom. By choosing to laugh over lamenting, and prioritizing joy over duty, we weave a life that’s not only forgiving but also more fulfilling.

This journey of aging isn’t about the lines etched by time, but the laughter lines that come from embracing every part of our journey—bath-time video bloopers and all.

Today, I hope you dare boldly, live gracefully, and remember to hit ‘stop’ on life’s record button now and then to save those precious moments.

And, if you’d like to share your precious comments and thoughts on how and where you do give yourself grace, or perhaps need to give yourself grace, please do! We are all on this journey together and sharing our insights, lessons learned from our stumbles and bumps creates space for all of us to grow in our human beingness!