In 1985 when she was born, this was just a day like any other. Every year family and friends gathered together to celebrate her special day, just as they gather all around the world for others born on this date (like my niece Kristi who shares this birthdate). Then, on her 16th birthday, this day changed. It was transformed by horrible events that unfolded on the other side of the continent. In the space of a few hours it became a day to mark, to remember, to never forget. Instead of celebration, it became a day of mourning.

Like billions of people around the world, I will never forget when I heard the first news that a jetliner had crashed into the New York World Trade Centre. I was on an elevator, riding up towards my office when someone asked if I’d heard the news. I hadn’t listened to the radio that morning as I drove my daughters to school on my way to work. We’d laughed and joked and been listening to their ‘tunes’ on the CD player. News of the world was far from my mind.

And then, I stepped off the elevator into my office and saw people huddled around televisions everywhere. It was true. The World Trade Centre had been hit.

I left. Went across the street to where my youngest daughter was in junior high and the entire school was in shock. I took her out for the day. Who knew what might happen after such an event?

My eldest daughter wanted to stay with her Grade 10 class. They were discussing the events and she wanted to be part of the conversation.  I phoned my friend Jane and told her I’d picked up Liseanne. Can you pick up Curtis too? She asked. And I did.

I don’t remember if we discussed Christie’s birthday. The girls and I had already sung her Happy Birthday on the phone. Before we’d heard of the tragedy.

I remember feeling scared. Unsure. And more than anything else, wanting to shield my daughter from the events transpiring in New York and Washington and a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, a town I’d never heard of. I picked up Curtis and his friend Johnathon and took them back to our home. At first, I turned the TV on but had to turn it off. I couldn’t take my eyes off what was transpiring and I didn’t have answers for these three young teenagers. And not having answers scared me.

It was our choice of movie that made me laugh. I’d suggested to the kids that we go watch something funny. How about Rush Hour 2 the boys suggested? It had just been released.

Not having seen Rush Hour 1, I took their lead. And that’s what made me laugh. Two thirteen year old boys made the decision of what movie we’d watch on a day when the world was in shock. A day when violence was sending shockwaves around the globe and I went and sat in a shoot-em out, blow-em up, explode everything in sight kind of film.

It was the only time I remember laughing that day. Not at the movie so much as at myself. Thank goodness I had girls, I thought. I wouldn’t know how to deal with all this testosterone on a daily basis!

I took the boy’s home after that and my daughters and I huddled together at home, watching and not watching the news. I did my best to reassure them but it wasn’t enough. How do you reassure your children the world is a safe and loving place when hatred explodes from the sky?

And I wondered about the mothers in Iran and Iraq and Afghanistan. I wondered about mothers all around the world who helplessly watch as their children cower in the darkness of moonless nights as guided missiles scorch the earth and incendiary bombs light up the night. I wondered if they too felt as helpless as I. I wondered if they too went to bed and cried, their minds lit up with worry about what will happen to my children. What will happen to our world?

It has been eleven years since that horrible day in September 2001. Christie’s sweet 16 is long forgotten but this year, her mother and father, my dear and much loved friends, Al and Jane, held a Happy Sweet 16 for Christie. We gathered together and toasted this amazing young woman who’s smile lights up the room and whose laughter lifts even the heaviest heart.

Christie is 27 today. 16 + 10 + 1.

It is a special day. A day to celebrate her birth.

A day to remember all that makes this world an amazing and wondrous place.

And, it is a day to never forget, we cannot create peace when we hold hatred and indifference and judgment in our hearts.

Let us not forget and let us always remember — we are the stewards of this earth. We are the makers of war, and peace. Let’s choose peace so that Christie and those like her will know their birthdays are days to celebrate, not forget.

Happy Birthday Christie! What an amazing woman you are!

Sometimes, the biggest difference I can make for myself is to stop, take a breath, and give myself a break.

Today, I’m doing just that.

Don’t know if it’s a flu bug or something I ate, but me and my stomach are arguing about who has the right to speak. My stomach is winning.

Why is it bugs wake up during the night and fight to be heard when I want to be sleeping?

Regardless, it’s a really short blog today. And while the bug seems to have gone to sleep, I’m going back to bed to see if I can get some sleep too.

See you tomorrow!

Namaste.

It is Saturday, the day we celebrate ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

At the Calgary Counselling Centre where I am working as the Interim Director of Communications one of the staff came to me last week with an article from the Calgary Herald. “That’s my daughter,” she said proudly, pointing to the name she’d highlighted in the text. I understand her pride. Her daughter, Shahr Savizi, is the Fund Development Coordinator for the Calgary office of the Heart and Stroke Foundation. And she is working tirelessly to organize the Foundation’s upcoming event, The Heart Truth Fashion Show which will be held on September 22.  Along with the Foundation’s amazing VP of Fund Development, Jennifer Diakiw (who also sits on the Board of the Counselling Centre), Shahr is engaging women, and men, in heart and stroke awareness through unique and inspiring ways — in this case, a fashion show featuring 11 red dresses created by 11 top Calgary designers. Heart disease and stroke are the No. 1 cause of death for Canadian women. It’s important we pay attention to our hearts!

Shahr Savizi, Jennifer Diakiw, the designers and models participating in The Heart Truth Fashion Show and everyone at the Heart and Stroke Foundation are heroes.

Last month, Dr. John Rook took over leadership of The Calgary Homeless Foundation from the indefatigable Tim Richter. Over the past 4 and a half years, Tim has led the Foundation in implementation of Calgary’s Ten Year Plan to End Homelessness. They’ve made enormous progress, created significant changes in how and what we do to serve people experience, or at risk of the human crisis of homelessness. Tim is moving on to lead the Canadian Alliance to End Homelessness. Like Tim, John is tireless in his commitment to make a difference in the lives of those living on the margins of our society, those for whom disease, addictions, family circumstances and life’s travails have left them struggling to find their way back home. We can change the face of homelessness in our city.

We can make a difference and people like John and Tim and all the staff at the Calgary Foundation and the agencies who have united together to make the Ten Year Plan a reality by ensuring every Calgary finds their way home are heroes.

Last week I wrote about the United Way’s kick-off and my delight in presenting to the Campaign Associates. I am always in awe, and inspired by, the work of the United Way and all the agencies that make a difference to the lives of every Calgarian and all across Canada.  As United Way campaigns kick-off all across Canada, I am reminded once again of the importance of working together, of being united in our vision of making the world a better place for everyone. No one can do it alone. We must all work together.

The United Way of Calgary and Area is filled with heroes. From Lucy Miller, President and CEO to Adyam Sendek, Speaker Bureau’s Coordinator, to each campaign associate and administrative assistant and director and fact finder and researcher…, there is not one person at the United Way who is not committed to making a difference. You are all heroes.

Tandy Balson has been a Big Sister for several years. She gives tirelessly to her little sister, her family, and to the Choices family, the personal development course where she and her husband both volunteer every month to assist in Choices founder, Thelma Box’s, vision to Change the world one heart at a time. Next week, Tandy will be the Sunday Guest Blogger telling us about what it means to give back.

Today and everyday, Tandy is a hero.

Last Saturday I wrote about one of my heroes, Donna Mae DePola. Tomorrow, I’m sharing a conversation I had with her yesterday on the phone. Please do come back and check it out. She’s amazing and you will be enthralled by her sense of humour and her candor.

Don’t miss tomorrow’s new feature: Sunday Conversations — an occassional chat with people who make a difference.

I gave a presentation yesterday to a group of Campaign Associates for the United Way. They are preparing for the fall campaign and were spending the day learning about public speaking, how to tell their story and the United Way story. My presentation was all about awakening their creativity to allow themselves to speak in front of groups in engaging and inspiring ways that connected heart to heart to their audiences.

The Campaign Associates come from all walks of life. The majority, however, come from corporate Calgary. ‘On loan’ from corporations as part of their support of the campaign, their role is to engage companies and agencies in running their own internal campaigns. To get involved. Take action and Give. Whether it’s time, talents or treasures, to give their best to make Calgary a great city for everyone.

When I present, I use the story of falling in love with Prince Charming and waking up, five years later to the Prince of Darkness rampaging through my life. I use it to illustrate what it is that connects us as human beings — and one of those is — we all fall down in life. Some falls are just bigger than others. And, there are moments when we need help to get back up. And that’s what the United Way helps ensure. That no matter how or where people fall, there are agencies, programs and resources available to help them get back up.

Yesterday, after giving my presentation I rode down on the elevator with one of the participants in the group. “I really appreciated your presentation,” she told me and her voice clogged up with tears. “Your story really affected me,” she said. “I’m going through a divorce and you really helped me.”

I reached out and touched her arm. “I’m grateful I could,” I told her.

“You gave me hope,” she said. “And I really need it.”

“There is always hope,” I replied. “And it does get better. As long as you keep taking care of you. As long as you keep leaning into the miracle of you, your heart will mend, your spirits will lift and you will fly again.”

I began my presentation by sharing a story of the eagle who thinks he’s a chicken. No matter what a real eagle tells him, he will not listen. His chicken yard thinking keeps him stuck in believing, he cannot fly. And so, he doesn’t.

For this woman, for all of us, our limiting beliefs keep us from our truth. They keep us from embracing the essential essence of our humanity that lives deep within our souls, a truth we are born into and with and of —  we are truly magnificent beings of light, born to fly, to soar free above the daily grind, into the passion of living life in the rapture of now, acting out our vision for the future we imagine to be true, a vision that makes a world of difference for everyone.

There is always hope.

Flying free begins with the willingness to let go of limiting beliefs and the voices of doubt that would tell us, now is forever.

Now is not forever and the past is never more. It is gone. Flown away. Drifted off down the river of life into the ocean of Love that supports us, surrounds us, and fills up our every breath with life-giving energy to act out our dreams and fly as high as we possibly can.

I made a difference yesterday. I volunteered my time to inspire people to let go of believing they were chickens, that speaking in front of groups was scary, that letting their magnificence shine was wrong.

And I am grateful. For in their shining their light on me, my light grows stronger and in our collective light, we are magnificent.

When we shine together, we create a brilliant light that illuminates the path for all to see the possibilities and the promise of living as our most magnificent selves.

The world needs our light. It needs our best. It needs our magnificence to be bright stars of hope, love and joy shining for all the universe to see.

Make a difference today — let your light shine as bright as it can. In your light, others will be inspired to shine and together we will create a light of unbelievable magnificence!

Nameste

It was loud, noisy, raucous. Fun!

Yesterday, along with several hundred people from agencies and corporations, I joined in the festivities for the United Way Calgary and Area 2012 Campaign kick-off. En masse we marched down 3rd street to Eau Claire market, hooting and hollering, banging drums and tambourines, calling out to spectators and drivers waiting patiently in vehicles that were stopped at intersections to allow the parade to pass by. At the market, we were entertained by native dancers and heard two young brothers from the Sudan sing their song of tribute, Stand-Up!

The Campaign co-chairs spoke, as did Lucy Miller Ceo and President of United Way Calgary. Mayor Nenshi arrived and talked about legacies. About organizations celebrating their centennials for having served our community for the past one hundred years. The Public Library. YWCA. Wood’s Homes. Calgary Parks and Recreation. The Grand Theatre.

What they share? A desire to make a difference in our community. The dream of making our city great for everyone. Today and for the next one hundred years to come.

It isn’t easy. This making a great city for everyone. Social. Political. Economic realities all impact how people experience our city, especially those on the margins. Those for whom ‘to have’ includes not having a standard of living that allows them to get by without struggling to put food on the table every month or to pay the rent. In a city fuelled by the black gold that flows beneath our soil, giving back to community is the only way to balance the inequities that exist beneath the poverty line.

Calgary is a city of givers. A stat I read in a speech by Mayor Nenshi in November 2011 said that 85% of the people give to charity through cash and/or volunteerism. Last year, the United Way raised a record $54 million. This year, the target is to do it again, with a little bit more.

For the thousand plus people gathered yesterday to participate in making our city great, it was evident what a difference being part of the United Way Campaign makes. From corporate to not-for-profit, pride, enthusiasm, spirit were all on display.

Having been a United Way agency speaker for several years, and having taken on the role of Impact Speaker this year, I have witnessed first hand the difference a group of people makes when they commit to being part of giving back to community. It is contagious. It changes lives. It makes a difference.

Money does matter. But beyond the dollars and cents, it’s about change. Creating lasting, vibrant, sustainable change that makes a difference in the life of every Calgarian – no matter where they stand. No matter how deep their pockets or high the barriers they face in moving out of poverty, disease, distress into possibility and well-being. Changes that ensure we build healthy communities and healthy people, that kids have the opportunity to be the best they can be, and that families and individuals have the support and resources they need to move out of poverty into possibility.

We can make a difference. We can create a world of change when we work together to ensure not one person falls through the cracks because there wasn’t a net to catch them.

Think about what you can do in your community today to make a difference in someone’s life. And then, go do it. Take action. Get involved. Give.

Give your time, give what money you can. Give your support.

We are all connected. And when we work together to connect people who need help, support, a hand up or a hand out, to the resources, tools, education and opportunities they need to change their lives, we all succeed. Because, when one person falls through the cracks, we all do. And when one person rises above the poverty line, we are all impacted.

In Africa, it is called “Ubuntu”. “I am what I am because of who we all are.”

In Calgary, it is called, The United Way.

Together we can make a difference. Together we do.

Let’s do it!

Namaste.

Touching Infinity

My heart is the temple of God, the Divine, Buddha, Yahweh, Hare Krishna, whatever you call ‘IT’, my heart is the temple of Its expression. Not the physical, worldly manifested red blood, beating place of life-giving force within my body. But rather, the soulful, love-exuding, love encompassing essence of my being. That heart. That’s the one I mean.

These thoughts went drifting through my mind this morning as I meditated on a Daily Prayer on Presence my friend BettyAnne M. shared this morning.

Presence

“I pause for a moment and think of the love and the grace that God showers on me, creating me in his image and likeness, making me his temple….”

When I am present to Love, when I am conscious of grace in every aspect of my life, my life becomes a conscious celebration of all that is holy, divine, magnificent within me and around me.

When we connect through the presence of Love, we become that through which we are connected — Love. And in our connection, we celebrate that which is our greatness. That which is holy, divine, magnificent within and about eachother.

What I put my attention on grows stronger in my life.

When I focus on my fears, worries and limiting beliefs about my capacity to be great in the world, my attention slips away from seeing the wonder and awe within and around me into that place where darkness constricts my vision. In the dark, my ability to be free of my fears and worries diminishes and contracts and I begin to play small, to act little, to act out on nothing other than my fear, I am not enough.

My friend and co-creator at the Centre for Conscious Living, Howard Parsons shares his insight on being conscious of where we put our attention this morning in his Hopeful Notes from Howie J.  (Do sign-up. His short, inspiring tips on living consciously every day are always a welcome gift in my Inbox every weekday morning.)

When there is discord in your life then there is discord in your heart, writes Howie.

And it’s true. When I am operating from a place where fear, anger, worry constrict my thinking and my heart, I hurt. Physically.

When I breathe. When I consciously ask to ‘be open to expansion’, my heart beats more freely and the physical effects of my worry, fear and anger dissipate immediately. Free of their tight hold on my heart, and breath, I become more conscious of what I am choosing. In my conscious awareness of my choices, I ask myself. What do I want to create in myself and in the world? Discord or harmony? Anger or compassion?

Years ago, when I was under the thrall of a relationship that was killing me, every fibre, joint, muscle in my body hurt. I constantly thought I was going to have a heart attack. Getting up in the morning was pure agony.

And then, one day, the man who had promised to love me ’til death do us part was arrested and in one fell swoop, I was given back my freedom. I awoke the next morning and my body didn’t hurt. The band constricting my heart was gone and I could breathe freely.

It was a huge awakening.

My body had been trying to tell me something for months and months and I had been ignoring it. Trapped into the vicious cycle of my dark and fearful thoughts, I couldn’t see that I had other choices I could have made. I only believed, no. I only told myself, I cannot leave. This is all I deserve. This pain and horror of my existence in this relationship is all I am worth.

It wasn’t true.

I am worth so much more than he could or would have given me. I am worth so much more than living a life of fear and anxiety. Of walking with pain and sorrow and heartache as my companion.

I am worth freedom. I am worth beauty. I am worth expressing my divine radiance, my loving gifts, my heartfelt compassion for life, for me, for everyone I meet.

I meditated on a prayer of Presence this morning and awoke to the beauty of my being present in the world as I am created. No matter your word, God, Yahweh, Buddha… you are the divine expression of amazing grace in a world of wonder.

And in the amazing grace of expressing our magnificence in everything we do and say and are and see and become, we make a world of difference.

On a backroad

When my daughters were young I loved to write stories for them. In the sand on the beach. On a painting. At bedtime. Driving in the car. It didn’t matter where or when, creating stories just for them was pure joy.

One of the stories I wrote for them is called, The Heart Rock. A young girl with a heart of gold meets a king with a heart of stone. Through her smile and love and caring, his heart melts and in the process, his lands become bountiful, his people content and all is well in the kingdom. The moral of the story — Even a heart of stone can be warmed in loving hands.

Often, I will pass a heart rock along. I’ll hold it in my hands, warm it up and give it to someone. A friend in chemotherapy, a friend in challenging circumstances. No matter their situation, the heart rock is a reminder that we are connected — in Love.

Heart rocks are a constant presence in my life. I find them everywhere. On walks with Ellie, on the beach, on the roadside. Yesterday, as I drove back from Saskatoon, I went straight where I should have turned left and pulled over onto the shoulder of the road to turn around. It was a quiet back road so I decided to stop and let Ellie wander for a bit. There at my feet as I stepped out of the car was a beautiful heart rock.

Heart rocks make me smile which is why it was so special that my youngest daughter, Liseanne, remembered my affinity for heart rocks while at a wedding recently in a rural community.

“I have something for you, mum,” she said the other day when she dropped over for a visit. She dug in her purse and pulled out a beautiful heart rock. “I found it in the grass outside the hall where the wedding was,” she told me.

And my heart melted.

It isn’t the grand gestures that make the biggest difference. Sure, they’re important. And yes, we must do ‘the big things’ to create change in the world. But for me, it is these small moments that soften my heart, that melt my feelings into a warm gooey sticky mess of Love that permeates my being and remind me, no matter where I am, who I’m with, when we connect through Love there is nothing to fear.

My daughter gave me a heart rock she found in the grass. In the simple act of picking it up and carrying it back to me, she said — I see you. You’re important to me. I love you.

And in her gesture we become one with the One. In our oneness we become that which we are seeking. That which is always there. Love.

No matter the times. No matter the place. The happenings in our lives, the ups and downs. Love is always the answer. Love makes the biggest difference.

It isn’t the big things we do in life that make the difference. It’s the small things we do with constancy and grace that connect us to the flow of Love all around. It is those small significances that make the big differences possible.