I encountered a lot of heroes this week. And in each connection, my life lit up in the beauty of their presence. Thank you everyone for all that you do every day to make a difference!

I don’t often go into the bank — I like ATM’s. But yesterday, when I mis-entered my PIN enough times incorrectly, I was forced to enter the bank to get it reset. A lovely woman at the Service Desk, whose name tag read, “Carol-Anne”, helped me so that I wouldn’t have to stand in line at the teller. As she punched in codes and typed on her keyboard, we chatted about the forgetfulness of  ‘our age’. “I’m hoping I haven’t forgotten too much about raising children,” she said at one point. “I’m about to do it all over again.” I was a tad surprised. She did look a bit over child-bearing age… I think it might have been the look on my face that caused her to laugh and explain. “I’m adopting my grand-daughter.” And she went on to tell me more of the circumstances drawing her into parenting ‘at my age’.

At any age, what she is doing is noble. My daughters have a beautiful friend, Jenn, whose grandmother raised her and her siblings because, like this woman’s daughter, their mother lived a ‘at risk’ lifestyle that did not provide the stability children need. “I have to do this,” Carol-Anne said. “I’ve tried to help my daughter but I can’t stop her hurting herself. What I can do, is stop my grand-daughter from being hurt.”

Carol-Anne is a hero and so are all the other grand-parents in the world who take on the role of parents to ensure children are cared for by  families who love them.

Earlier this year I was invited to sit on a Communications Advisory Board for the United Way of Calgary. This week I attended my first meeting and was in awe of the energy, commitment and openness of the group. From bankers to oil and gas communications professionals, everyone on the board willingly gives of their time, talents and treasures to help the United Way deliver targeted and impactful communications. It’s an easy job. The work the Communications group at the United Way does is exceptional — and their willingness and openness to hearing and receiving the feedback delivered by the advisory group is integral to their spirit of working together to create meaningful engagement tools that inspire Calgarians to get involved, take action and make a difference. We all win when we unite in our desire to create a great city for everyone.

Bryce Paton and the communications team at the United Way of Calgary are heroes and so are the volunteers who lend a hand with such open hearts, minds and spirits.

Can I indulge in a bit of motherly pride?  Today is the second annual Why?Race being held by the United Way of Calgary. My youngest daughter, Liseanne, began working part-time for the United Way in 2010 during her final year of University. She’s now working full time and loving it. As the BeCause coordinator, she’s played a vital role in this year’s Why?Race — and that’s a big undertaking!  To all of the volunteers, participants, standers’-by and recipients of the furniture that will be built as part of the race, today’s events are more than just a fun day — they’re a fun day that makes a difference.

Liseanne, (and yes, I know it’s not politically correct to name my offspring — but heck, it’s my list!  I get to call it as I see it… 🙂 ) the team at BeCause, the volunteers and participants are all heroes!

I first met the amazing team at INVIS when I was working at the homeless shelter. Every Christmas, as part of their “Angels in the Night” project they’d arrive wearing yellow capes and Santa hats, bringing with them a truck laden with winter necessities for the clients of the shelter. And, every summer, they hold a

giant garage sale

to raise funds to buy the mittens, jackets, boots, underwear that they deliver at Christmas during “Angels in the Night” Homeless Shelter Project.  Today’s the garage sale day!  Click on the link to find out more :).

All of the team of Angels in the Night and INVIS Inc. are heroes.

So…. what are you waiting for? Got any heroes you want to celebrate today? Just do it!

They are three men, lined up along a brick planter box at the edge of the building where I’m consulting for an agency in downtown Calgary.

They are three men I recognize. From the homeless shelter where I used to work.  They are not ‘visibly’ homeless. They are not under the influence of alcohol or mind altering substances. They are simply three men, sitting on a planter box outside a downtown building, on a busy avenue on a cool, cloud covered May afternoon. Chatting. Laughing. Watching traffic go by. Watching people pass along.

As I walk by one of the men says Hi! I know you!

And I know you too!  I reply.

And I stop and we chat. About the shelter. The people. The happenings in their lives.

Yeah, says the man who greeted me. I’m still working on getting out of there. It’s just so damn hard.

And I remember. Alcoholic mother. Absent father. Foster care. He’s never known ‘stable’. He’s never felt, unconditional love. This place, this life, this viewpoint from living in a space where uncertainty edges up against anxiety about where to next, what next, why this now, riddles your thinking with the impossibility of change, the defeatedness of being stuck, making seeing ‘better’ or even ‘other’ a far and distant possibility.

You can’t see what ‘better’ is if you’ve never experienced more than ‘this’. This life of grinding poverty. This place of hopelessness and despair. This place where escaping into the fog of alcohol or drugs is the only place you can go to get away from ‘the life’ that is bringing you down, not because you expect more, but rather, because you’ve never had a place to know what it feels like to experience more than this without fear of losing it.

And I realize, they aren’t under the influence of anything other than the beaten down experience of homelessnessness.

“Do you miss the place?” one of the men asks.

“Not the place,” I reply. “I do miss the people.”

“You wouldn’t miss them if you had to live with them every day,” one of the men replies.

And it hits me.

In their world of ‘lack’, people are abundant. In a place where 1100 people share the same roof every night, there’s no getting away from people. You can’t just walk into an empty space, a calm room. There are no quiet corners, no hidden places where you can just chill out, on your own to get in touch with you, yourself and I. Chaos. Noise. Activity. A fight erupting at the table next to you. An argument heating up in the bunk on the other side of the bunk that separates you… all these are in abundance in a shelter. What’s not abundant is peace, quiet, tranquility, calmness.

What’s not evident is personal space to grow silent so you can experience the grace of time and space to plan for, what next.

As I turned to walk away, one of the men called out, “I like your… what do you call it?” and he motioned to the vibrant red shawl I wore draped around my shoulders.

“It’s a shawl, dude,” one of the men replied. “Louise always wears them.”

And that was the moment that made the difference.

He remembered my name.

I did not remember his.

And that was when I realized, I can’t just walk away from homelessness. I can’t just walk away from people who’s names I may not remember but whose stories resonate within my heart. I can’t just walk away from the pain and suffering of others. I may not be able to do something about what is happening in their lives to keep them in that place where they cannot see, or find, the way out.

I may not remember their names. But I can remember their stories. And sometimes, all we can do is hold someone’s story until they find whatever it takes to create a new one.

In my remembering, I can speak up, speak out, speak against the things that drag us down. I can keep doing one small thing everyday that makes a difference in the world to open up possibility that says, “Yes we can. End homelessness. Yes we can. Stop abuse. Yes we can. Make a difference.”

The invitation arrived in my email as it does every week from Dal, our Wednesday night group meditation guide, announcing that week’s group meditation. There was an invitation with this one — Customized Heart Meditation — the email read and included the invitation to “Bring your deepest sense of what your heart is seeking and just “see” what happens next.”

I could feel my mind groan when as we settled into meditation, Dal began immediately to take us through ‘the dome’ exercise. Ugh. I often fall asleep, drift away during this exercise.  “Oh look! A shiny object!”

I committed to pay attention. To turn up and be present.

Fear rose up. The critter awoke.

The critter doesn’t like it when I’m present. I might break free of limiting beliefs, of fear-driven behaviours if I become present to the beauty and wonder of now. The critter likes to live in the dark.

I focused on the now. On the being in the moment, under the dome of my thinking, chipping away at calcified beliefs that harden the suppleness of my mind, body and soul to live this one wild and precious live in the rapture of now.

I know it sounds esoteric — it is — but after three and a half years of meditating with this group, I absolutely trust the process and the power of the group, and Dal’s guidance.

And that was when I saw ‘the difference’.

Trust.

I trust the process.

Just as every morning, even on those mornings like today, when I begin to write and am unsure as to what I am going to write about. I trust the process, I trust the words will appear, and they do.

In that trust is the non-egoistic place of believing ‘I am in control’.

Heck! I’m not in control! I’m out of control and loving it!

As I look back on the almost five months of writing A Year of Making a Difference, I know, it isn’t about controlling the words, the work or the world. The biggest difference is made when I let go of control and simply trust the process.

To be. Present.

To be. Loving.

To be. Committed to give my best knowing, my best is good enough.

At the beginning of the year when I resigned my position at the shelter, I was unsure of what the future would bring. I just knew that where I was at in the past was no longer serving me, was no longer fulfilling my heart;s desire to be of service in the world.

I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t know what would come next. I simply knew that to be open to ‘next’, to be open to possibility I had to trust in the process of living. I had to trust in ‘the universe’ to be present and in that trusting place, I found myself aligned with the evolutionary impulse to always create better. To always evolve more.

The universe is on my side. On your side too. The universe needs us to succeed because we are all in this world together — and it’s in the best interests of our collective survival that we succeed, that our difference become about shedding light on darkness, truth on lies, compassion on sorrow, tolerance on intolerance, love on hatred. Our difference is about being the light of Love in everything we do.

I stepped into my heart last night and asked, What am I seeking.

The answer was simple.

To know me. To love me. To be me in a world of wonder where my difference is part of the light of Love creating a world of beauty, joy, peace and harmony.

I sat down to write this morning, unsure of what words would appear. In their unfolding, I am reminded, the difference I make is strongest when I let go of control and let Love have its way.

Namaste.

Everyday anywhere from 50 to 150 regularly visit this blog. One day, I had over 2,000 visitors but that was because I think the entire town of Oyen came to read what I’d written about ‘the storm’ that made them such heroes to so many stranded passengers and their families.

50 to 150 is not a huge number, but, when I multiply it out, I figure that if each person does one act that makes a difference in the world, than collectively, we are impacting thousands upon thousands of people every day.

And that’s not bad!

It is hard some days, to grasp ‘the difference’ we make every day.

Last night, at our weekly Summer of Peace Calgary 2012 meeting we were joined by two inspirational guests who have spent years at this ‘peace thing’ as Bob Stewart of “Canadian Centres Teaching Peace” calls it.

This “Peace Thing” appeared to be a huge undertaking for him 17 years ago when as a Rotarian he was challenged to ‘do something about peace’. And he did.

He began with learning — all about peace. He read and researched and collected information and data and then he set up a website to share the best of what he’d found. And he went on, to build Peace Cafes across the country, peace initiatives in small towns to large and peace connections that link the hearts of peace-builders all around the world.

And through all that he has done, all that he has created, Bob told us last night that the biggest hurdle, and the greatest change, was what happened inside him, inside his heart. Through building peace, Bob has changed the very essence of his being here on earth — he has become one with peace inside.

To build peace in our world we must reach out from a peaceful heart.

Anne-Marie Collette met Bob in 2004 — and between their hearts, peace and love blossomed. Today, Anne-Marie is a highly sought after peace trainer, teacher, ‘advocator’. Where Anne-Marie goes, peace rains down in Love.

How can we make peace tangible? Anne-Marie asked us last night. Be Love. Be Peace. Be Light.  — Put peace into practice every day, every moment, every where.

A world of peace can only be built upon the peace within each individual on this planet. Together, we can share the best, or the worst, of ourselves. To make a difference in the world, begin with peace. Begin with small acts of significance. Begin where you are.

One-hundred and forty-four days ago when the year 2012 began and I started writing every day on this blog, I didn’t know if people would come and read every day. I didn’t know if people would be eager to learn more about making a difference, or not. In fact, I too wondered as my friend Des says, ‘could I actually write about making a difference every day and keep it fresh and interesting and worthy of people coming back again and again?’

One-hundred and forty-four days later, I’m still writing, still learning more and more about what it means and what it takes and who it takes to make a difference in the world every day.

And one of the biggest things I’ve learned is….. it begins with me. It begins right where I am, right now.

It can seem daunting to think about creating lasting and loving changes in our world.

But if we don’t begin, right here, right now, when will we get into the action of creating the world of our dreams? If we don’t do one small act today, when will we take action?

Oh. And another thing I’ve learned writing about making a difference every day –whatever I do,when I begin with gratitude I create ripples of peace throughout my being. I am grateful for each of you everyday. I’m grateful for your comments and tweets. Your Facebook Likes and your Shares of my words and ideas and blog.

And thank you Anne-Marie and Bob. Your brilliance illuminates the path of Peace for all to follow.

Thank you everyone. Your presence lights up the world in wonder and Love.

Namaste.

The sky was overcast but the air was hot and sultry when we set out for our walk yesterday afternoon. Ellie was delighted. C.C. joined us and given we hiked down from the escarpment to the river’s edge, having him along was double bonus — he throws sticks much further out into the river than I do!

She gamboled in the water, racing out to fetch the stick, returning to drop it and shake at his feet. He threw. She fetched. And I scoured the pebble strewn beach for heart rocks. As part of the kick-off events for Summer of Peace Calgary 2012, we are passing along a heart rock to each peace-builder who comes to drum and share in the festivities. The invitation:  to pass the heart rock along as a symbol of peace to someone else. Our vision:  by the end of summer we will have created a groundswell of peace-building through passing along peace. We’re inviting everyone to join us by the river in late September for an evening of drumming in peace and reconciliation where we’ll also create a mandala of all the heart rocks that have returned.

Based on a story I wrote my daughters when they were small, The Heart Rock is about the power of love to create peace.

The story goes…. A young girl with a heart of gold meets a king with a heart of stone. Where ever she goes, life blossoms. In his lands, life is dark, the crops are thin and cattle are dying. Believing that with her heart of gold he will have all the wealth in the world, the king has the young girl kidnapped and brought to his castle. But his surgeon cannot cut her heart out and lets her go with the promise she will not leave the king’s lands. Wandering the countryside, where every she goes, flowers bloom, fruit ripens, life abounds. When the king meets her one day as she tends to a sick calve, his heart is also healed — and hence the moral of the story  “Even a heart of stone can be warmed in loving hands”. (The story’s much longer but you get the gist of it…)

Yesterday, as I searched amongst the rocks on the beach I found a clump of painted rocks. Someone had been at work creating colour and beauty by the river. It made me  smile and I wondered if the creators of this colourful bouquet of rocks left them in the hopes of passing along joy?

What a simple gesture. Paint some rocks with smiley faces and bright colours and leave them for others to find.

Intentional or not, that small act of creativity ignited joy in my heart. If I’d been in a 3D movie, the dark clouds would have rolled back into the heavens and peace would have rained in glittering heart-shaped confetti pieces!

It was a beautiful afternoon by the river, made even more special by the unexpected gifts of a stranger.

It’s easy to make a difference in the world — just leave unexpected gifts of beauty behind where ever you go!

C.C. and I went to a movie last night. Our intent had been to go see, the Best Marigold Hotel but I got the time wrong for that theatre and we were too late.

I suggested not worrying about the first 15 minutes but C.C. is a purist. It won’t make sense, he said.

Then, let’s start it now and stay for the beginning of the next show, I suggested. I like to read the endings of books first so I don’t mind what order the story is told in.

Again, the purist in C.C. demurred. How about Marvel’s Avengers. It’s in 3D.

Which is why fifteen minutes later, as the movie began, C.C. and I were sitting in a darkened theatre (that was very crowded I  might add) looking like we were hiding out from paparazzi in our dark glasses, munching popcorn and watching a movie I never thought I’d see. (I’m not terribly into action adventure heroes and blow ’em ups and on the edge of your seat dramatic turns at every pop! dazzle! wham!)

It was fun, though at the end, I had to admit I was exhausted. I thought I’d fall off my seat with every frame, I told him. And seriously… When you sit with every muscle of your body clenched for two hours in anticipation of having to dodge something flying out the screen at you as silvery objects flew around the air above your head, you’re going to be tired!

But that’s actually not what this post is about. It’s about what happened after the movie. What I did to disturb my peace of mind.

As we got up from our seats to leave (and yes, we did stay until that final snickering smile in the ending credits) I thought about picking up the empty popcorn bag, the candy wrapper and the water bottles. My mind wanted to, but I was sluggish.

Nah, I told myself. They’ve got young cleaner uppers who come and clean the aisles and seats between showings. I’ll just leave it.

And I did.

And that’s where my peace of mind became disturbed.

I don’t like leaving mess for others to have to clean up.

I don’t like being inconsiderate.

Now, I know it’s not a big thing, but it’s the little things that add up to big things that create the problems with my peace of mind.

So, yesterday I chose not to clean up my mess in the theatre. What if that one slip leads to another today. Like I decide not to pick up after my dog. Or I choose not to pick up the piece of paper I threw at the garbage can at the gas station and leave it lying on the ground…. What then?

See, it’s not the ‘doing’ that is eating at my peace of mind. It’s the post doing thinking about how I could have and chose not to that disturbs me. And, because I don’t want to be ‘that’ woman who didn’t carry her garbage out at the end of the movie, I need to be vigilante in ensuring I don’t fall into believing, this one time, is not a precursor of a next time.

Yes, I am being dramatic. You might even say I’m blowing it out of proportion like an action hero blowing up an alien mid-air. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! That’s not possible!’

Anything is possible. Just look at the movie last night. Portals opening up in the sky, Aliens streaming down set on destroying earth — anything is possible….

It is possible for me to let go of my principles. It is possible for me to lose ground, to lose my peace of mind by not doing the right thing.

‘Fessing up. Coming clean. Making a commitment to always take out  my garbage (whether in a movie theatre, a gas station or the back-country) are all part of living with integrity and creating value in a world where my difference is something that creates peace of mind within me and all around me.

It’s the small things that build a path to big things. To be great, I need to do small things with great spirit. To live in peace, love and harmony, I need to take out the garbage.

Namaste.

Dr. Isabel Ries Ferrari is one of the most intuitive and insightful people I know. She is also one of the best friends anyone could have. Kind. Caring. Brilliant. She always gives her best, and always works to bring out the best in others. Isabel and I worked together for almost six years at the Calgary Drop-In and throughout that time I was in awe of her ability to see into the heart of what is on people’s minds, and to guide them to clarity with compassion, grace and humility.

Since leaving the Drop-In, Isabel, who continues to be the Director, Education and Best Practices at the shelter, and I have continued to explore ways to work together as we both value our friendship and its many gifts. Today, here at A Year of Making a Difference, Isabel shares her insights and learning on how living our values makes a difference in every area of our life. When we make a difference through living with integrity, it spills over into the lives of those with whom we live, work and play in radiant ripples of love, peace and joy.

Thank you Isabel for sharing your difference here!

*******************************************

Thank God for Heated Car Seats!

by Isabel Ries Ferrari, Ed.D

Recently, I had the pleasure of presenting a seminar on values and how they are a part of leadership and one’ life. Values, I explained, are our beliefs and philosophies; they are what we promote and defend, and they guide us in our decision-making and in the way we behave. To demonstrate this, I asked participants to choose one of two values that I presented. No fence sitting or straddling the line – pick one value that is very important to you.

Health …… or  …….. Wealth

Our values were acquired from our parents, grand-parents, friends, employers, and the many life experiences and situations we’ve encountered. Through the years they have been shaped or modified to meet our needs.

Loyalty ……. or …….  Relationship

Daily habits are a good indicator of what we value. Arriving an hour earlier at work to get ready for the day, may be the value of preparedness or reputation. Singing in the shower (a great stress reliever, so my doctor says) may be the value of personal health and well-being.

Innovation  …… or ..….  Dependability

Within ourselves we have many values. Depending on the situation you’re in, they will shift in importance to meet your needs at that time. If driving on a busy highway, the value of personal safety will rise to the top and you will drive with heightened awareness  until you reach your destination.

Sometimes, your values may compete with each other. For example, the value of becoming healthier versus the value of rewarding yourself for a job well done – the diet and exercise regime versus the glazed cinnamon roll. Let the competition begin!  “I’ve lost five pounds and one inch. I’m on a roll” versus “It’s only one doughnut. No problem”.

Throughout the course of the day, many of our values compete with each other. This is how decisions are made.

Loyalty ….. or ……. Professionalism

Let’s not forget the emotions and feelings attached to the values. Choosing the cinnamon roll will bring forth the emotions of guilt or shame or determination. The strength of the value will not only determine the strength of the emotion, it will also determine what value is truly important to you.

Daring …… or  …. Dependability

Now ….. About those heated car seats.

Golfing is an activity I truly enjoy. I value the opportunity to go outside and walk nine holes, the unwritten rule of “no shop talk”, the spoken rule of “play your best and most of all have fun” and meeting of new people, building relationships.  The challenge I have with golfing is my golf swing. I don’t have the “Phil Michelson” swing. So I take a golf lesson.

New golf grip …. New stance …. New body posture …. New shoulder rotation …. New golf swing.  New pain… In the hips, in the lower back, in the upper back, in the shoulders. I even had a muscle cramp in the right foot!  My value of golfing in the great outdoors and having fun (not to mention doing it to the best of my ability through my commitment to living a life of continuous learning)  is competing with the value of being able to walk the next day to go to work.

Achievement …… or  …… Acknowledgement

The gift we bring to the world is each other. We make a positive and lasting difference when we are in integrity with our values, our most powerful self is brought forth and is present for all to see and experience. When we are out of alignment with our values, we are uncomfortable and unsettled. Staying in alignment with our values is like the new golf swing – it takes regular conscious practice. It’s like a muscle that needs to be worked to build strength and stamina. When your muscles are tired and need some relief, sit back in your car, turn on the seat heater and enjoy.

Yup!  Thank God for Heated Car Seats!

There are heroes in our lives. People, and organizations, who make a difference everyday. This past week, I was immersed in heroes. People telling their stories. People sharing their ‘strength, courage and experience’ as they say at Al-Anon. People making a difference through simple acts that create connection.

The committed and talented ’20 -40 something generationals’ who are members of The Urban Exposure Project — part of the United Way of Calgary’s BeCause Initiative: Uniting the next generation – are heroes. They are opening hearts and minds and making a difference with their photo-journalism work on the meaning of ‘family’.  (and yes, I know I wrote about them Thursday — but they deserve being part of Heroes In Our Midst!)  And if you’re in Calgary — check out their exhibition on July 4  (details will be posted on their website soon!)

The team at Urban Exposure Project are heroes.

 Horizon Housing Society (HH) ensures people with mental health illnesses and physical disabilities and those living on the margins have a place to come home to.  HH provides the physical space (they buy and build apartments and manage them) and then, working and collaborating with other agencies, ensures each individual or family has the support they need to successfully sustain themselves in community. In all the interviews I’ve conducted in the past two weeks, one thing came out loud and clear — The work they do is vital to creating caring and compassionate communities. Horizon Housing rocks!

Everyone at Horizon Housing Society is a hero.

Sometimes you meet someone who oozes inspiration from the very core of their being. While I have met with Kerry Parsons several times in the past, last weekend I had lunch with Kerry and in our conversation about the co-creative power of making a difference in the world, I felt connected on a deep, vibrant level. In the glow of her light, I felt my inherent, birthright of  ‘greatness’ reflected in the beauty of her spirit. Kerry is the visionary behind Summer of Peace Calgary 2012. Kerry’s generosity of spirit and her gentle, respectful way of moving through the world never cease to amaze and inspire me.  In Kerry’s willingness to give back to community and individuals, I am inspired to keep giving, keep doing, keep being who I am in a world of difference, making each moment, each act, each word resonate in the light of peace, love and joy.

Kerry Parsons and the circle of committed Peace Builders working on Summer of Peace Calgary 2012 are heroes.

Two weeks ago I interviewed a woman who found affordable and accessible housing (she is in a wheelchair) because of a newspaper article about a man who, having lost a leg due to a transit train accident, was clean and sober and living in community. The article by Calgary Herald reporter, Sean Meyers, mentioned the agency that helped that man find housing, Accessible Housing Society. When I interviewed her, she proudly showed me the article and the phone number she’d written down that day, almost a year ago, when she awoke in Detox and decided to turn her life around.

There are a lot of heroes in this story — from Sean Meyers (it was Sean Meyers Calgary Herald article about Terry Pettigrew that connected two brothers and gave hearts ease  during Terry’s final days) to, Horizon Housing and Accessible Housing Society and everyone there. There are the case managers, the HomeCare workers and the social workers committed to helping people like this woman thrive in community.  You are all heroes. 

We need heroes to remind us, to inspire us, to ignite our own heroic natures. Thank you heroes for all you do to make a world of difference.

I am working with an organization that provides counselling services to the broadest range of society, from no income to high net worth. The centre is a place of compassionate healing for everyone who walks through their doors. In the sacred space the therapist creates to allow clients to share their hurts and pains and wounds, in that space where they explore the possibility for more of what they want in their lives, healing becomes reality.

As therapists, there is a natural and a learned hesitation in asking clients to ‘tell their story’ beyond the safety of the therapist-client circle. Privacy concerns, fears of being labelled, stigmatized, re-wounded are all natural and real concerns.

Yesterday, the CEO invited me to come into their regular staff meeting to talk about story. I am working with them on ideas for their 50th anniversary celebrations and have suggested it would be beneficial to build a database of client stories that speak from the heart to the heart.

This is work I love — Story gathering. Story telling.

This is ground I know well. Listening, probing, hearing, inquiring. Being open and compassionate. Being present and receptive. I have learned through telling my own story what a difference it makes — within me and in the world around me. There is power in our stories. 

Telling our stories makes a difference. In our telling we have the capacity to touch hearts and open minds. In our sharing we create space to heal, to renew, to open the door to a new story beyond the threshold of the past.

Honouring another’s story by listening with a gentle heart and open mind is vital. So is inviting someone to share.

Later in the day one of the counsellors came up to me to tell me she had asked someone if they would be willing to share. They were on their last session and the counsellor extended the invitation.

It was all it took.

One invitation.

And the client immediately responded with ‘yes’.

What a gift. To know you’ve helped someone move far enough along their healing journey that they are willing and able to share that journey with another.

And, as I told the counsellor, what a gift to the client to know they have healed enough to have been invited to share their journey and have the courage to say, yes. To know, their story makes a difference.

Giving is receiving.

Yesterday, an invitation to tell story rippled out into the world and continued to resonate and to draw out the beauty of our human condition through one person’s willingness to say, ‘yes’.

If we don’t ask, the answer is always no, I told the counsellors (I’d told the group at the Urban Exposure Project the same thing the night before — it was one of my father’s favourite sayings. Thanks dad!) When we ask, the possibility of ‘yes’ opens up.

We never know when one question  will touch another nor when one story will ignite imagination. Like extending an invitation, sharing our stories opens up the possibility of more than we can ever imagine.

And when we listen to each other’s stories with gentle hearts and open minds, we create a world of difference. A world where we are not measured by the story of the past, but rather, by our courage and capacity to create powerful meaning in our lives today.

We all have stories of falling down. We all have stories of getting back up. Like a baby who falls when learning to walk, we encourage each other to get stand up and try again when we share the steps we took to transform the pain of falling down into the joy of flying free.

I gave a presentation last night to a group of 20-something up and coming leaders of Calgary who are part of the United Way initiative, BeCause and the Urban Exposure Project. My youngest daughter, who works for United Way, is the coordinator for the project and had asked me some time ago to chat with the group about story-telling, and in particular, the art of finding the focus for your story in a photograph.

These are young, committed philanthropists who see value in understanding social issues that affect our city through exploring social issues through the lens of a camera and the stories they tell.

At the end of the presentation, several of the participants told me how inspiring I was. How much they’d learned. How much they appreciated what I’d shared.

It is wonderful and heart-warming to receive such praise. It is important to honour their feedback as it is a reflection of their openness and willingness to hear and to give. And, I believe any opportunity we have to feel good about ourselves, the work we’ve done, what we’ve created is important!  I believe we have an opportunity to shine in everything we do and it’s important to celebrate those moments that we are told we do! Because when I shine, you shine and when you shine, I shine and in that illumination, we create a brilliant world all around us.

And… here’s the secret. I was inspired by them. I was inspired by their commitment to make a difference, their willingness to be ‘out there’ doing what it takes to understand their world. I was touched by the beauty of their hearts, the wisdom of their souls and the depth of their perceptions. They inspired me.

In giving I receive. 

And what better way to spend an evening than by being inspired?

Someone asked me awhile ago if I got nervous before giving a presentation. Sure, I replied. But nervousness is just my egos fear of not being good enough. My ego likes to keep me believing I can’t do it. I’m not good enough.

I give enough. I do enough. I am enough.

In whatever I do, I want to give my best. I want to create a world of difference. To let my ego hold me back is to undermine my capacity to create what I want more of in my life, and the world.

Think about it. We each have talents and gifts to share with the world. In your sharing — do you want to be self-conscious, nervous, scared? Do you want to go out and crash and burn, or do you want to inspire, motivate, challenge, create better, create more, create connection, create a world of difference?

Focusing on your nervousness, focusing on your fear undermines your ability and capacity to shine.

As I told the group last night, there are two really key elements to story-telling. Intention and fearlessness. Know your intention — in essence, know your heart and let the world around you share in its beauty. Be fearless — don’t let the story in your head hold you back from connecting to the stories of your heart and the stories all around you. Don’t let, “But they won’t…” keep you from asking, “Will you…”  “Can I…” “What if I could/did/do…”

 When we are clear on our intention, when we focus on our capacity to create ‘more’ and step fearlessly into the light of our own brilliance, we shine!

I connected with an inspiring group of young, committed philanthropists last night. I’m excited. In their hearts, in their willingness to give back, to share their time, talents and treasures, I am confident for our future. They are making a world of difference.

Thank you Ross and Jason for spearheading such an amazing group. Thank you Liseanne for organizing and coordinating with such grace and thank you to all who shared and listened and let their presence create such a stellar evening for our brilliance to shine together!