Breakfast on the deck. Our last morning.

I cannot resist the play on words. Therapy is great and with wine labels such as Freudian Sip and Pink Freud, it’s obvious that Therapy Vineyards leverage their moniker to delight the palate and tease the brain.  After 3 nights of staying in their guesthouse, I must agree. There’s great therapy to be found amongst the grapes for all the senses and all issues!

Spending time on the Naramata Bench as well as in the southern Okanagan wine country was amazing Couple’s Therapy (that’s what you call it when you buy two bottles of wine in a bag at Therapy Vineyards).

But now, to make the big decision.

And it is big. From the realization that April may not be the most ideal time of year to get married on The Bench, to where do we hold it, C.C. and I have not yet made a decision.

Which, given that I basically made all the decisions when I married last time, I’m finding it refreshing, and maybe just a little bit frustrating. While Therapy wines are fabulous, not even real therapy has resolved my control freak tendencies! 🙂

C.C. likes to be involved, and being involved in planning our wedding is important to him and to me. But it does take some adjustment on my part to make space for a male perspective in the decision-making. Did I mention that along with being a control-freak, I do like to get my way!

So, we talk. We balance. We go back and forth on what is our next course of action. And sometimes, I get annoyed. Impatient. My neural pathways are littered with subconscious mappings that dictate the way female/male relationships should work and not even wine has managed to smooth out their edges.

So I breathe, have another sip and breathe again. While I like to think of myself as a free-spirit, a liberated woman who does not buy into male/female stereotypes I am discovering there are within me ancient pathways into ‘how things are done’ that muddy up the road to relational harmony.

There is only one way through any discourse and that is to keep going through it. The conversation is the relationship and when we agree to keep engaging in the conversation with love and mutual respect, we keep strengthening the relationship.

It is one of the gifts C.C. brings to our relationship. He doesn’t defer or abdicate. He participates, especially in the big decisions like, where and when will we get married.

One thing about the past weekend, we both know getting married at a winery in the Okanagan is what we want. What the Naramata region offers is a delightfully rural yet in no way “hick” joie de vivre and a more intimate sense of being in the vines. And the views of Lake Okanagan are outstanding no matter where you are on The Bench.

On Tuesday morning, we chatted with the delightful Natalie, guest-house manager at Therapy, who had lots of great ideas on how we could hold the wedding in their vineyard. It would involve a tent on the flat piece of land in front of the guesthouse as well as a caterer. All doable she reassured us, especially as her partner Casey is a chef and caterer. Later, René Massinon, the managing partner at Therapy, toured us through the vineyards and the cellars, passionately describing the process of growing, cultivating and harvesting the grape and we knew — Therapy had taken hold! We are completely besotted with the beauty of the place and the hospitality of our hosts.

Then, C.C. and I went off to meet with Kendall the events/wine-shop manager at Bench 1775. And we both knew, we’d found the place. Situated just a few kilometres south of Therapy, Bench 1775 has a large enough space to crowd indoors should the weather be inclement and a huge spacious patio that provides an outstanding 360 degree view of the lake and Okanagan valley. We didn’t get a chance to taste their wines, that’s a ‘next time’ event. But we feel happy with our decision.

What’s great about Bench 1775 is we can still keep Therapy in the mix as their guesthouse is ideal for sleeping 16 to 22 people. With Penticton just moments away, as well as the quaint and delightful Naramata Heritage Inn and Spa just down the hill in the town centre, our guests will have lots of beautiful options as to where to rest their heads.

And now…. to really commit. An April wedding or do we wait until the fall? The beauty of the fall is undeniable. But, there is something about Spring. The sense of new growth, new life coming out of the earth, just as a marriage is a statement of the beginnings of new life in a relationship. It isn’t about the time of year — if only my psyche could grasp that it is not the weather that will make the event great, it is the people!

This weekend we’ll be cracking open one of the bottles we brought home and savouring the conversation and the wine as we spend some time going through my notes and measuring our options and the possibilities of what really works — for us.

Because in the end, that’s who it’s all about. The both of us and the celebration of our love, our bond, our relationship with the people we love.

Beautiful start to the day.

Breakfast was served on the patio. In the distance, the rugged hills climbed steadily towards the blue sky that soared above. All around us, green vines crept in organized rows into the distance.

We sat in the morning sun, soaking up the air, the sounds, the view.

And then, one more potential site for our wedding visited, we headed east towards home.

It was a divine escape, a delightful sojourn in wine country, a wonderful way to spend four days together.

and now, I’m late and must run.

See you tomorrow!

My morning reverie. From where I sit…

This is peaceful country.

Vineyards and orchards line both sides of the valley, straight ridges of vines and trees climbing up the hillsides. At the bottom, crystal clear waters of Lake Okanagan and Skaha Lake lay in placid serenity, their mirrored surface a reflection of the blue skies above.

Sighing, I slip over the edge of busy into calm. I am content.

Yesterday, C.C. and I visited four  more possibilities for our wedding.

The one comment from every site is the same. “April? Hmmm… well, the weather can be iffy. Do you have to get married then?”

There is no ‘have-to’ with our date. It’s one we set. Just because.

All the venues we’ve seen have beautiful possibilities, but… well some are just more beautiful than others.

We’ve set a grading scale — 1 – 5.

View.

Logistical requirements (i.e. some need tents and all food as well as washrooms trucked in)

Ease of access

Atmosphere

Cost

And of course… the wine.

We haven’t gone through all our notes yet but, it feels like no matter what location we choose, it will be magical and marvelous.

But, do we risk April or  move to a date later in May? When the vines have had a chance to ripen. When the weather has had a time to free itself from winter blues.

Regardless of what site we choose, we have had a magical time in the valley.

Our last stop yesterday was at La Stella, an old world vineyard that is perched at the edge of Skaha Lake just at the tip of Osoyoos, a small arts and crafts town at the southern edge of Okanagan Valley.

Mike Kosaka, the vineyard operations manager, walked us down to the wedding site, chatting all the way about the beauty of the location (it is undeniable) and the challenging logistics of holding a wedding as ‘small’ as ours on their site. Logistically and economically, weddings of 150 – 200 make sense here. We’re planning for sixty.

It didn’t matter. The site was gorgeous and while we probably won’t be getting married there, Mike spent a delightful hour with us talking about the area, wine-making and his journey to vineyard manager. As we sat on the deck of the Tasting Room, exploring La Stella wines, he talked about pruning the vines and other facts and tricks of viticulture and his wife’s deep roots in wine-making in her homeland, the seat of Burgundies and Beaujolais and all things winey. He shared stories of wine-makers through the ages and the art of barrel-making and barrel-keeping. He talked of cycles of growth and self-planting vines and wine-snobbery and wine-mystery.

And through it all, we were enchanted. His passion. His knowledge and his generosity created a tiny bubble of joy that kept spreading out to encompass us both as we listened and asked questions and shared some of our favourite winery stories too.

C.C. has caught the bug. The dream of owning his own vineyard, something he’d set aside many years ago, has reconnected to his psyche. I swear he’s already plotting out the where’s and how’s! The who’s and what’s!

As we drove back along the lake, the late afternoon sun glistening on its waters, the shadows deepening in the crags and canyons of this arid land, we felt replete, complete and connected. Not just to the lore of the valley but to the story of life lived on the edges of the water’s of possibility.

And on our way back, we stopped at Hillside Winery, one of the possible venues for our wedding. We enjoyed a delightful dinner beside the fire as outside the sun slipped below the mountain peaks and the air quickly lost the heat of day. Tiny fairy lights came on all around the patio outside and we were embraced in the wonder and awe of the valley and being together here, in this place, where dreams awaken.

It is October the 3rd and we are already three days into Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Which means, I’m still not going to tell you which Olympic medallist I shared the podium with on Thursday. That will have to wait until next week!

Three days into the month and I have not done anything to support the cause or to draw awareness to the importance of doing whatever we can to ensure breast cancer does not harm another woman, child, family in the world.

In honour of my beautiful friends UZ and LS, both of whom are survivors and all the other women who have fought, who continue to fight, who have won and who have lost the battle, I am sharing a post by Lisa Bonchek Adams. I have followed Lisa’s journey for some time and I am always in awe and humbled by her spirit and her capacity to write with such self-awareness and compassion as she continues to fight for her life every single day. In an update Lisa posted on September 26th, she wrote, “I have become an expert in uncertainty. I don’t know how I will feel from one day to the next. I don’t know if the chemotherapy that worked a few weeks ago will still work today. I don’t know how my body will tolerate what I’m doing. I don’t know how long this all will last.”

Her courage is humbling.

Her honesty is heart-breaking and her willingness to be present as she takes each step of her journey reminds me always to find the value in all things, and to turn up in my life every single day with a loving, grateful heart.

Her post from today is titled, Last One On The Line.

Please take a few minutes to read it and if you can, make a donation to support Breast Cancer Research whereever you are in the world. Thank you.

 Last One On The Line

by Lisa Bonchek Adams

It seems like you can’t rank anguish. You shouldn’t be able to “out-suffer” someone. How do you quantify misery?

And yet, somehow we do.

“My problems are nowhere near as bad as yours are.”
“I feel terrible complaining to you about it when you are going through so much yourself.”

I hear these types of comments all the time.
I make these types of comments all the time.

Placing ourselves in a hierarchy of pain and suffering serves to ground us; no matter how bad our situation is, there’s comfort in knowing there is always someone who has it worse….(read the rest of this post)

Breathe in.
Water colour & collage
©2014 Louise Gallagher

This week doesn’t seem to have enough time in it! Oh wait. It always has the same amount of time. It’s just the speed at which I’m trying to process and the amount of data and things to do I’m trying to get done is greater than the time allotted in which to process and produce! There’s no change in the speed of time’s passing, its quantity or its impact. It’s just me!

No matter what I feel about time and its many facets, it only has one speed. It only is what it is.

I had my blog all planned for this morning. I was going to write about a first, a never experienced by me event — sharing the podium yesterday with an Olympic athlete.

But now, that will have to wait until tomorrow because my computer has taken advantage of the time of day and is backing itself up and doing all sorts of internal tasks to take care of itself — which is slowing down everything I do.

Yup. there’s that time thing again. Even though the speed of time has not changed, I am feeling the pressure of how quickly it is being consumed. I have an early morning meeting today and have to be out of the house by 6:45. And then, an all day training session — and still a list as long as my arm to complete before C.C. and I head west for the Okanagan for four days of r’n r and wedding planning.

So… bet you want to know more about the Olympic moment of my day yesterday.

You’ll just have to pop back in tomorrow to read all about it!

But I will tell you, it was inspiring and humbling and fascinating too!

And as to time’s speed of movement — time’s got nothing on an Olympic speedster!

Yup. That’s the tease and the clue. There’s lots of speed involved in this athlete’s sport and now there’s lots of time for you to ponder who it might be!

For now, I’m off to spend a day savouring each  moment, no matter how fast, or slow I think time is passing. Because, no matter what I’m thinking, time’s pace is steady and its beat strong.

Have an amazingly awesome day and may you find time, no matter where you’re at or what you’re doing, to savour the moment and cherish each breath you take.

And may you always…. Breathe in Love. Exhale Gratitude.  And again…. Breathe in….

Art Journal Page
Speak often the words of your heart.

This is one of those fast and flurry-filled posts.

After spending some time in the studio last night, I joined C.C. to watch one of ‘our’ programs on TV. And then, I got caught in another. After the second, I slipped into the office to catch up on some emails and work I had to get done for both my upcoming art show, and the concert for Christmas at The Madison. (Yes, it is coming soon for the third year! Sunday, November 30th, 7pm. St. Stephen’s Anglican Church – watch this space for more information soon!)

And then, I got distracted. Lost track of time and didn’t realize how late it was until the midnight hour was upon me!

Needless to say, I slept in. On purpose.

Actually set my alarm for 6:30am and slept until it went off!

Now that’s unusual for me.

To actually heed an alarm and not wake up before its ring.

And out of all that, what I’m saying is…

I’m late.

Or am I?

I have a choice.

To allow my sense of being late to hurry me up and leave me feeling breathless and out of time, or, to breathe into my sense of being late and allow myself the grace of being present in the moment, where I’m, at without judging the time or tardiness of my awakening.

What I choose will determine the tempo and the essence of my day.

And my voice of reason whispers, “Choose wisely.”

I am choosing to accept the hour of my awakening as what it is, the hour of my awakening.

And now, I must rewind.

Earlier, thinking I was late and had limited time to begin my day, I chose to skip my meditation. It’s my all or nothing thinking. If I don’t have at least 20 minutes to meditate, what’s the point?

The point is, there’s nothing wrong with just 10 minutes, or even 5. What’s important is that I take the time to center myself, to ground my day in quiet. So, rather than spend half an hour to forty-five minutes here, I’ll make this short and give myself the gift of time for quiet reflection where I can set the intention for my day and live into its wide-eyed awakening with awe-inspired breathing.

So often, in my ‘all or nothing’ thinking, I convince myself that there is only one way to do something when, in fact, the choice is always mine and in that choice, there are many roads and many options.

My option this morning is to surrender judgment and  fall effortlessly into being present in my day knowing, how I live it is my choice. When I choose to honour myself, I give myself the gift of all the time I need to experience each moment as a wonderful, joyful awakening.

There is no time like the present and time isn’t going too fast, it’s simply moving. How I experience the speed of its passing is up to me.

Chicken Little

Standing in front of my easel, staring at a blank canvas, or one I’ve decided to keep painting into, can be daunting. In fact, it can be downright scary!

I come to the canvas with an idea, a thought, a visual expression I want to make manifest, and always, my critter mind gets going like crazy!  Forget it. Stop it. Don’t bother. Nope, too scary. Nope, you aren’t an artist.

To move through the critter’s nattering I must take action. Get into action. Get going. I must make the first mark of paint, and then the second, and third and keep putting paint onto the canvas without letting the critter’s voice take hold.

And, with each stroke of paint, with each breath I take, the fear subsides as I move into the sacred space of creating for the sake of creating.

Tamara joined me in the studio last night and at one point she commented how much she loves to create with no agenda.

The underpainting
A landscape I didn’t like

It is in that space, that limitless and liminal space of creating without an agenda that magic happens, wonder awakens, awe invades. In that space, there is no critter’s voice telling me to Stop it. Or yammering about my limitations. There is only me and the muse. Me and the process of being present in all my senses, without judgement.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the critic has a role to play in the creative process. The original painting that forms the underpainting for Chicken Little was not pleasing me. The photo I shared is phase one. I don’t have a photo of phase two because it was quite ugly. I’d added a whole bunch of dark green trees in the foreground and the mass of them was disappointing! I was undecided as to where to go with it, what to do when I came upon a technique of painting random designs onto a background, and then, blocking out what was not needed and leaving the ‘desired’ elements exposed.

Letting go of fear, I decided to try it. What did I have to lose? A painting I wasn’t too happy with anyway?

And that’s where the magic, and the fun, happened.

In painting over, in fearlessly letting myself be one with the canvas, I found a new and fun way to work, and a piece I really like.

Just like life. when I’m stuck in thinking there’s only one way to do it, one thing to do, I am limiting my focus to the known, to the visible.

When I let go and relax, breathe into each moment and allow myself the grace of experimentation, of simply being present, miracles happen!