Give Yourself a Pep Talk

This morning, as I sat down to write, my mind wandered through the things I’ve been doing to keep my commitment to finish the book I’m working on (or at least the first draft) by September 1.

I’ve kept my commitments to stay engaged with my process everyday.

That deserved a little “Atta Girl”ing. It also needed a bit of a ‘ole pep talk to ensure I didn’t listen to that hissing little whisper deep inside that likes to trip me up when I give myself positive re-enforcement (it’s the critter mind wanting to ‘keep me safe’ because the critter mind is programmed to listen to those childhood voices that tried to protect me in moments when I felt scared or uncertain or ‘less than’ or simply couldn’t make sense of the world around me.

Self-pep Talks are important. Not only do they help calm any doubts or re-direct the critter-voice that would have you believe keeping your commitments to yourself are not important, or that you may as well give up now because you’re going to quit pretty soon (i.e. You don’t finish anything), a self-pep talk is a powerful body/mind connection. It reminds us that our brain is not in control. We are.

As a child, I had many interests. One of them was staying in touch with my pen pals spread out all around the world. Even as a child I had a keen interest in how other people thought and lived that was different than me. So, I cultivated a cadre of penpals and stayed in touch with them regularly. This was long before the days of social media and cell phones so staying in touch meant exchanging hand written letters.

My brother, who was five years older than me and, as he liked to remind me, much wiser, often made fun of me and my penpals. I loved my brother but man, did he know how to bring me to earth with a resounding THUMP!

One of the oft repeated phrases was that I, “Grow Up!” According to my brother, penpals were for babies. Desprately wanting to get on with the business of growing up (not to mention stop his teasing), I let his words take root and quit writing my letters.

Which is why my self-pep talk today is so critical to my keeping my committment to keep working on this book as planned.

As a child, the message to “Grow Up” attached itself to the limiting belief, “You never finish anything, Louise.”

For many years, I made that lie my truth. Or at least, that’s what I constantly told myself, even in the face of ample evidence that I finished those things that were (are) important to me.

I wanted to become a ski instructor. I did.

I wanted to learn how to fly a plane. I did.

I wanted to be a published writer. I am.

I wanted to write a book. I did.

And the list goes on.

Yet, despite my lengthy list of things I’ve done and achieved, I still have this little voice inside that can see me as ‘a quitter’.

Which is why I use my self-peptalk as a reminder, “I got this! I’m worth keeping my commitments for.”

The voice is no longer strident and loud as it once was. I attribute its decline to making a commitment to pay attention to doing the things I know support and love me. The things that help me grow stronger in my commitment to choose always to live this one precious life in the power of Love.

And a self-pep talk is a beautiful way to say, I love me, just the way I am because Love is what I deserve. Forever and always.

What about you? Have you given yourself a pep talk lately? I hope so! They’re full of encouragement. Inspiration and Possibility! And why not? You deserve to live you best life free of doubt pulling you back from shining bright!

Shine On!

What do you carry?

We all have memories we carry with us, precious moments we savour in good times and bad. Images that make us smile, words that make us feel invincible, happenings that make us feel proud and accomplished.

We can also carry dark, heavy memories too. The ones about the traumas we’ve experienced, disappointments we’ve known and losses we’ve felt that cloud our every thought and limit our every step forward with their ability to leave us feeling heavy, lonely, lost, and hopeless in a world of scarcity and fear.

Which ones do you remember most?

Which ones march through your mind no matter the blue skies above or clear seas before you?

If it’s the heavier ones clouding your vision and dragging you down, perhaps it’s time to lighten up?

Remember, what you carry in your brain is up to you. By focusing on positive thoughts, behaviors, and experiences, you can cultivate a lighter, more joyful outlook.

Some days, the ‘work’ of cultivating a mindful, light-filled garden in your heart and mind can feel daunting. It’s important to…

Start small to grow.

One tiny step joined by another one tomorrow and then another leads to a pathway out from beneath grey clouds into clear blue skies.

And, it lightens the load.

For me, the best way to lift heavy burdens from my mind is to write my gratitude list.It’s a practice that has revived my flagging spirits even on the darkest mornings.

Again, start small.

For me, it often begins with a simple statement – I am grateful I woke up this morning. And if even that seems too big an ask of your heavy mind and heart, write, I am grateful. 10x

Begin where you’re at. Practice writing, I am grateful. Do that 10 x for 10 days in a row (if that’s what it takes) and throughout the day, watch for tiny moments of gratitude to carry with you until you write your list. Pull those out of your memory bank first and if you can’t get to 10 things, fill the rest of your list with I am Grateful.

With each daily reminder, the practice and habit of seeking out moments of gratitude to write down will create a wider and wider pathway out from under those grey clouds.

And, if you’re looking for other simple steps to lighten your spirits and load, here are some other things I do to create both neural and physical pathways to feeling light and shiny, no matter the weather.

I begin with journalling and write a list of things I like to do that bring me joy and do one thing that day that’s on my list i.e. Bake something delicious and take it to a neighbour – Giving is receiving… and when I give what I love I feel love coming back to me.

Other things could be…

  • Go for a walk with Sir Beaumont
  • Have coffee with a friend
  • Take a bubble bath, listen to soft, gentle music (I like Deva Premal)
  • Dance like no one is watching
  • Do a mindfulfness activity – breathing is a really good one
  • Meditate
  • Spend time in my studio creating just for the sake of creating

Ultimately, we decide what we shine a light on most in our minds and carry in our hearts. Heavy or light — we decide their weight and brightness.

Which means, we have the power to shift the weight and darkness of their burden by the things we do to heal the pain and grow through the memory.

Those are things I love to do to help me lighten my spirits and grow wild and free, especially when the load feels heavy. What are some of yours?

Who are you living for?

Yesterday, in a deep and profound conversation with a friend, she shared a writing prompt she had been given.

“Who are you living for?”

What a fascinating question.

Who am I living for?

My mind immediately jumped to the most obvious answer.. I am living for me.

And then it asked, What does that mean?

The question simmers as I smile on this beautiful spring morning where seemingly overnight the leaves have unfurled from where, just the day before, they hung in winter’s naked listlessness.

This morning, my world is awash in brilliant green hues and I feel as light as the spring breeze wafting through the open deck door.

Like the robin who arrives again and again with twigs to build her nest in the rafters above our downstairs patio, the question comes back to me. Am I living for myself or am I trying to be all things for so many people I am not living my true self life where I am creating my world based on what I believe others want?

What does it mean to ‘live for myself’?

Is it selfish? Or, is it the most effective way to live to give back to this world my unique gifts and talents so that I can create better in the world around me?

Is living for myself giving myself medicine first so that I can have medicine to give others?

Is living for myself the medicine I need most?

Wonderful thoughts to ponder as I journey forth into my day.

I asked myself a question this morning. I thought I knew the answer. In my thinking I did, a beautiful, mysterious path opens up leading me deeper into the exquisite nature of my humanness, bringing me closer and closer to my essential essence.

In every step I take along that path, I expand more and more into becoming the all of me that is left when I release my knowing to allow the unknown to appear.

How divine.

What about you? Have you ever pondered the question, “Who are you living for?” Does it resonate or does it lead to more questions? Does it excite you? Do you think you know the answer?

I’d love to hear more.



When I was a little girl, my father would promise us trips. Usually we set out on them. Often, we never reached our destination.

My father was a man of mercurial moods. One moment he’d be excited about something. The next, storm clouds brewed and we four children ran for cover. Often, the reason our trip never got to its destination, or ended sooner than expected, was because something had set my father’s temper rising, and he would declare it was time to leave. Now.

I loved my father. I did not love his angry outbursts.

I also did not love the pattern of behaviours I adopted to compensate for my lack of trust in promises and people’s inability to keep their commitments.

Not trusting in promises and commitments lead me to not write out my goals or to believe in my dreams – and to often not keep my commitments with myself and others.

I have been working on this aspect of myself for years — it did not serve me well. It needed to change and the only person who could do something about it was/is… ME.

it’s a journey on which I keep taking steps every day, which is why, recently, I took action to fulfill on a dream that began percolating when I first stepped into the Choices room in April of 2006 — which was the predecessor to the Discovery Seminar I just coached in.

Every Sunday, there is a spiritual service which begins with someone from the group singing, playing an instrument, sharing their talent. That first Sunday morning, sitting in that room, I felt my teenage me dream stir.

I have always loved singing. When I was young, my sister Anne and I would accompany our dishes chores with singing. We loved doing it even if the rest of the household made us close the kitchen door.

In junior high school, I was part of a folk group and at 16 I got up the nerve to perform in the Annual Talent Show and Concert. My song, Joni Mitchell’s iconic, Both Sides Now, which I sang in French and English.

I came second in that competition.

Unfortunately, my success didn’t matter to me. My parents didn’t come and my brother did his normal thing of teasing me mercilessly – which I know is what big brothers do. For me though, that teasing only highlighted the fact my parents weren’t there to hear me. It reaffirmed what I feared (and secretly believed to be true) I didn’t matter.

Believing I didn’t matter lead to my holding back on articulating my dreams. I wanted to be an actor and singer. My family thought that was ridiculous. I quit talking and dreaming about it, And though I did take steps at times to sing with choirs and to act in community theatre, I always withdrew. The commitment was too great for me and my fear of proving that thought – I didn’t matter – true, pulled me back from taking steps foward.

One of the things Discovery seminars highlights is the importance of keeping our commitments, to ourselves and others.

I continually practice strengthening this mental muscle because I know deep within me that I do matter and I am worth keeping my commitments so that I can feel good about myself and not carry shame (which comes when I don’t keep them!).

One of my commitments I made to myself when I first started into this self-discovery journey was to dream. And, to take action on that dreaming.

Which brings me back to that dream of singing out loud in front of an audience – in particular, in the Discovery room where I know, I am loved and safe, and that I matter.

Last week I asked for what I wanted.

I asked a fellow coach whom I know is a musician if he would help me. He said yes — which means one Sunday soon, I shall be singing in front of the people gathered for the spiritual service. It doesn’t matter if I’m any good. What matters most is I am doing this for me. I am keeping a promise I made long ago to that child within. I will always cherish, protect and celebrate you. I shall keep my commitments.

I am taking steps to experience my dream come alive and to heal that broken promise of my teenage self. I am showing that 16 year old Louise, her voice matters. She matters.

And in case you’re wondering, the song I’ll be singing is, Both Sides Now.

What’s Your North Star?

In Discovery Seminars, there are two core areas of our human condition participants focus on. Our “Automatic Negative Thoughts or ANTs as they’re (not so affectionately) called, and Self-Defeating Behaviours.

ANTs are those thoughts that pop into our brain without conscious effort on our part. Like when I forget where I put my glasses when they’re right on top of my head. The ANT that can accompany that realizaton goes something like, “How can you be so stupid?” or, “Oh Oh. Another Senior moment.”

The antitode to an ANT is to Stop. Breathe. Ask Yourself… “Is that true?”

I know I’m not stupid. I also know my glasses and I have had years-long relationship of misplacing one another. Has nothing to do with and everything to do with my habit of not paying attention to small details like, where did I put my glasses?

The challenge is, unchallenged, an ANT can lead to self-defeating behaviours that do not serve us well.

It has been a life-long journey of self-discovery identifying and challenging my ANTS and the self-defeating behaviours they lead me to engage in.

Because here’s the things. My ANTS will be different than yours, though some may be similar. And, the self-defeating behaviours they lead to? Well, the field is wide open on that one.

We humans are creative beings by nature. We can create a self-defeating behaviour to confirm an ANT’s presence on our path without qustionning the “What’s in it for me to treat myself so badly for a lie I tell myself about myself that I’ve never stopped to question?”

And that’s the thing about ANTs. Unchallenged, they take up permanent residence in our minds, jumping into the fray anytime we feel confused, scared, uncertain, timid… and a host of other emotions.

Often, the origin story for the ANT can be a childhood event/trauma that was too inexplicable for our child’s mind to comprehend, and so, we made up a story about us, because of the event, to help us make sense of something we didn’t understand or had never experienced before.

The mind is constantly making up stories about ‘us’ and the world around us. The younger the mind, the more the story can become a limiting belief.

Truth is the antidote to ANTs. Truth can, unfortunately, be hard to see or hear when the ANTs voice has been trampling over our confidence, self-esteem, self-belief, and the ALL of who we believe ourselves to be, for years.

Transforming ANTs and stopping our self-defeating games begins with awareness.

I never knew I had a limiting belief ANT that constantly said, “You do not matter.” until I began to question the why of some of my self-defeating behaviours.

Today, the ANT can still fire. And, because he’s a very sneaky and creative ANT he can morph himself into many disguises to hide his ill intentions. Vigilance is critical. Self-Love essential.

The fact is, when he fires, it is my responsibiity to Stop. Breathe. Question – and Take corrective action.

For me, that corrective action begins with stating my contract and purpose statement – something I’ve honed over the years through my work in the Discovery room and my own self-exploration and growing self-awareness.

I am a BRAVE woman inspiring hearts to break open in Love and Shine Bright!

That statement is in answer to the BIG question Discovery dives into every seminar — What do you want more of in your life?

For me, it began with identifying what I don’t want more of — self-doubt, self-criticism. Anger. Hurt. Pain, Fear… Which cleared the path to understanding, on a very deep, intimate level, what I want more of — I want to feel like I matter. I want to know, deep intimate Love with myself and another. I want to… make a difference. To create space for me, and others, to embrace the truth of who we truly are — magnificent beings of light and enegy on the journey of becoming the one’s we were born to be, and always were, until life happened and we forgot our magnificence.

My contract and purpose statement above is my Love antidote to the ANTs. It’s my shield, my Love barrier, my heart protector, my portal to doing the right thing, taking the next step, and ultimately, to always choose understanding over anger, hope over fear, possibiity over impossibility, compassion over judgement, Love over fear.

It is my North Star.

What do you do to stop your ANTs from limiting your capacity to live living in Love as your truly magnificent self?

What’s your North Star?



And… if you’re curious about your own ANTs or, interested in devising your own contract and purpose statement, I highly recommend Discovery Seminars — and please know, I don’t get paid to advertise the program. I just believe deeply in the work and the fact we all deserve to live free of the things that would have us believe we are not worthy of living out loud in Light. Laughter. Life. Love.

One word at a time

May 1. A new month. Spring is bursting with its giddy desire to show off its finery and bloom.

And I am feeling the pull of memory.

It is May. The month I was set free, 20 years ago this May 21st.

I don’t often think, nor write, about those days, but this month, I plan on writing a bit more often about the recovery from that darkness. About how I made it back into the light.

It’s really simple, my decision to do this. I have begun to write my book about this healing journey called life.

Over the weekend, I created a working title — it helps me focus my writing. Love Yourself First: A simple guide to healing the past so you can live now in love.

I’ve identified my target audience – older adults 55+ and crafted an outline. Noted Key Themes to guide me, drafted each chapter outline and did some research on some of the topics I want to discuss: Things like, Our human need for love. The role of belonging. The importance of bravery. The need to continuously deepen self knowledge, the power of letting go, the value of resilience, the gifts of healing the past and the acceptance of imperfection.

I feel ready. Excited. Motivated.

I’ve got a writing buddy, *thank you Linh) and a Daily Intention buddy (thank you Jane) and, I’ve got a deep desire to ‘get it all out’ – One Word At A Time.

Years ago, when I was released from that relationship that was killing me, I awoke to the grim reality of the devestation that relationship had caused in my life and the lives of those who loved me. I had seventy-two cents in my pocket, a few clothes and my Golden Retriever, Ellie. And I had people who loved me who were hurt and angry. I had betrayed the sacred trust of motherhood. I had betrayed myself and everyone who cared for me with the lies I had lived while in that relationship.

I was broken.

I was blessed.

My sister and her husband gave me a home, a safe refuge to weather the aftermath of the storm. Everyday, Ellie, who had travelled the final two years of that journey with me, and I would walk into the woods at the end of the street where my sister lived and I would breathe deeply in the freedom of walking without ‘his’ voice repeating over and over again in my head all the reasons why I didn’t deserve to live, all the ways I had failed him and was a failure as a human being.

As I walked, I remember thinking of the problems I had to face. The burden of finding a solution to their totality weighed me down. They looked so big. So daunting. So over-whelming. To give myself peace, I would look up into the limitless blue of the sky overhead and whisper to the heavens, “Okay Universe. Here’s the deal. Can you please carry the burden of what I must do so that I can focus on doing one thing today that will bring me closer to my goal of healing and reconnecting with my daughters? Will you please carry the load so that I can breathe freely and take one small step each day towards reclaiming my life.”

One small step. It was all I needed to take to keep myself moving forward on the healing path. Healing didn’t have a destination. It had a journey that could only be taken – one small step at a time.

Twenty years ago, walking in the woods, as soon as I asked the universe to carry the load, the burden lifted. I would feel lighter, more peaceful and calm. And in my renewed strength, I could take the next small step I needed to take to heal. And that one small step became a path of steps leading me away from the turmoil and pain of what had happened with him, into the joy of what was happening in my life without him.

Success isn’t necessarily found in the big leap, the giant step over the mountain. Success is found in the small things we do each and every day to walk our talk, walk our path of integrity, honesty and truth. Success is found in the grace and ease with which we overcome obstacles, embrace tribulations and infuse each moment with love and joy.

Success is found in living each moment filled with the rapture of now. It’s discovered as we let go of regret, recriminations, self-loathing and a host of other internal roadblocks that hold us back from living in the light. It’s found when we keep expressing our gratitude and joy in living this one life now, arms wide open, heart beating wildly to the drum of our one unique song – the song we each possess that only we know and all the world can hear when we boldly choose to sing it out loud and fierce.

This weekend, I wrote an outline for a book I have been thinking about writing for a long time.

It was one small step followed by others. Word by word, the book will appear and as it appears, I will better understand what its path to success looks like. For today, I shall celebrate the success each word brings..


It’s Beau’s 8th birthday this week – he has ideas about what he deserves as a present as well as a lot to say about my 100% accountability — which apparently I don’t always do well at (according to Beau!) :).

It’s Martha’s — his cousin, – birthday today — he also has ideas and thoughts about what she’s doing on ‘HIS’ bed!

It’s all on his blog today — at least the birthday part. She’ll be here for the next week so it’s highly possible he’ll have lots to say about that next Sunday!

Release. Let Go. Surrender.

This morning, as I sank into meditation, some feedback I received recently about how stubborn I can be came floating into my mind. I’d found the feedback interesting because I know I can be stubborn. I just haven’t often thought of stubbornness as a self-defeating game. Which, at the time I received the feedback, was exactly what it was. The question that came floating into my mindscape as softly and easily as a cloud drifting across a summer sky, was. “To not be stubborn you must be willing to let go. Are you willing to let go?”

Let go? I wondered. Of what?

It all.

What all?

Your resistance.

But I’m not in resistance. I just don’t understand how to let go of being stubborn.

What if there’s nothing to understand?

How can there not be? There’s so much to know.

How will you know when you know it all?

That one stumped me. I am reminded of a piece of feedback, Thelma Box, founder of Choices Seminars gave me once in a process we were doing on the JoHari Window. “I experience you as a woman who will never find an answer good enough for her.” That one stumped me too.

Problem is (which is just another way to say ‘there was a big wallop of truth in her feedback’), she was dead on.

Sometimes, no matter the question, I think there’s got to be a better, deeper, more complete, all-knowing answer (haha! I just proved myself right by searching for a deeper meaning to my neck pain! Aren’t I fascinating! 🙂 ). Which means, I keep searching for a better one and better one and better one.

Does it matter if I don’t actually know what I am resisting to let go of, or how to not be so stubborn as much as it matters that I focus on letting go of my resistance to not being so stubborn?

Release. Let go. Surrender.

What is your boat built of?

In Choose Growth, authors Kaufman and Feingold, expand upon Mazlow’s hierarchy of needs and put it into a boat. Mazlow never meant for his heirarchy to be represented by a pyramid, they write. When he originally described it he described life as a constant state of growth that is often a two-step-forward, one-step-back phenomenon.

Being able to focus on steering the boat, rather than constantly patching holes and bailing it out, is essential. Being able to steer the boat, and use the experience to grow our human condition, even more critical to our human journey of becoming.

We are born to evolve. And grow. And learn. And keep learning to evolve some more.

But, if we spend all our time plugging holes and bailing water, there’s little time to think about ‘what did that experience teach me?’. Or, “What can I do differently?” Or, “How can I use that experience to grow in my life?”

Years ago, trapped in a relationship that was killing me, the longer I stayed in that leaky boat, the faster I began to sink, until one day, fortunately just in time, I was pulled from the sinking vessel and given the miracle of getting my life back.

It was not a miracle I wanted to ignore or abuse or misuse. It was too important to me. Too valuable to waste or throw away. And, I told myself, that sinking boat… it wasn’t mine to begin with. It was built on his lies. And there was no truth in he who was The Lie.

Since that May day in 2003, I have focused on building a sturdy,healthy, strong boat for myself. At times, I have taken steps back from my two-steps-forward, but the stability of my boat provides me a sense of safety and connection I feel within myself and with those who love me and how I choose to live with intention, helps keep me and my boat afloat.

Nowadays, when harsh waters and crashing waves surround me, I don’t need to spend a lot of time bailing out my boat. I simply hunker down to weather the storm confident that the love, connection and belonging I have found will not be ripped from my sails and blown away by the howling winds.

Today, I’m willing to open my sails to the winds of life and steer my boat in the seas of growth and change, confident that by remaining open to all life’s experiences, whether I judge them ‘good’ or ‘bad’, by being vulnerable with my heart and soul, I will be free to explore all of me — the dark and light, the mysterious and known, the ups and downs and inside outs and outside ins, without getting pulled under by the riptide of despair or crashed against the rocks of shame.

It is fabulously joyful to sail my boat in this sea of life teeming with possibilities, hope, love, joy, happiness, mystery, wonder and awe.

It is fabulously nourishing to be surrounded by people who love and cherish me and whom I love and cherish.

And it is fabulously inspiring to have a life I cherish, a life that is a reflection of my deep belief that we are all born miracles of life, the divine expression of amazing grace, magnificent, beautiful and deeply needed in this world for the unique, creative expressions we bring to it, expressions and ways of being that will create the better we all want to create for everyone.

When we open our sails and allow ourselves to be truly seen and known, when we love every molecule and cell of ourselves, we are free to be our magnificent selves.

And isn’t that a fabulous way to be?

Don’t Give Yourself Away

The morning after….

LOL — that used to mean something entirely different than it does now in my year of turning into my 70th decade!

And still, the morning after has great significance, even if it is just another day that began with my moving with the earth on its continual journey around the sun as the dark slips away to the west in the universe’s endless game of Chase the Sun!.

We shared our anniversary dinner with C.C.’s brother, M and his wife, also an M who are visiting from out-of-town. It was a lovely interlude and opportunity to get to know them better — they were part of our wedding celebration which made it even more fun!

I cooked, we chatted, did not drink copious amounts of wine — we do grow wiser as we age!

It was also a work-day for me yesterday which meant, in between Zoom meetings and writing a briefing note on the imperative of reducing long-term unemployment, I baked bread, made Carrot Ginger Soup and a Lemon Cake.

In the process, I discovered an interesting challenge. — If you put the formed bread into the proofing oven for its second rise, and then forget about it for 2 and a half hours, the buns that should have risen to perfect little individual rolls which butted up against each other in the pan but didn’t overwhelm their neighbours, become one big gooey mass of over-proofed dough.

You gotta pay attention!

It’s like a marriage.

If I do nothing to enrich, nurture and nourish our union, I risk it becoming a big blob of ooey, gooey nothingness that does not feel, look or even taste good to either of us. Without appropriate watching and tending to ensure the rough spots aren’t growing rougher, or the thin spots weaker, we risk losing the connection, joy and love which form the foundation of our ‘I Do’s’.

In between working, when I was cooking, I listened to Julia Louis Dreyfus interview Jane Fonda on her podcast, Wiser than Me (it’s a great podcast btw. She only interviews women over the age of 70). In the interview Jane Fonda, who is now 85, shares how she has learned she cannot be in a committed relationship with a man again. She misses the sex, she says, but she doesn’t miss losing herself into her need to become whomever she thinks the man wants her to be.

In a marriage, at least in mine, the greatest gift I give myself is when I remain as myself and continue to grow myself – and our marriage. That isn’t always easy.

I like to please. I am culturized to want to ‘make a man happy’ and to believe ‘the man matters – more.’

It’s the more that has always tripped me up because, when I let go of being me by believing, and acting, like his needs and wants and opinions are more important than mine, resentment and anger fester.

I’d like to say I’ve learned how not to do that, the lose myself that is, but the truth is, I am, just like our marriage, a constant work in progress.

For our union to work, I must stay vigilant and committed to becoming all of me without losing any of me to all of him. I can give love, commitment, compassion, caring, joy, freely, but in that giving, I cannot give myself away.

It’s a lesson I keep growing into as I grow deeper and deeper into becoming the all of who I am when I stand fearlessly in Love with all of me — and that includes the woman who has created big ooey gooey messes and mistakes. It’s not the messes I’ve made that define me, it’s what I’m willing to do to mop up my mess and create better, every time.