Dancing on the Hands of Time

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Louise Gallagher

Art Journal
August 23, 2014
Dancing on the hands of time

“Stealing a glance at time passing away, she awoke.”

I took my mother some coloured pens and other drawing materials yesterday. Don’t you love it when you have a spark of brilliance — later rather than sooner? 🙂

I remember her telling me long ago how when she was young, she loved to draw and paint. It must run in the family. Her brother, my Uncle Jojo as well as one of her sisters, Auntie Evelyn, both love to paint as well, as do some of my cousins.

It’s in my blood.

Like so many aspects of me, my preferences today are founded on the learnings of the past, those connections that tie me inextricably to the family circle into which I was born.

While I was visiting with her yesterday, I showed her the supplies I brought, and true to my mother, the first thing she wants to make is a card for a friend of my sister, who has as my mother says, “Never forgotten my birthday.”

My mother is big on gratitude. Always.

I like gratitude too. Gratitude is good for my heart. It lightens my spirit and fills my day with blessings.

Last night, as I was leaving the hospital, I stuck my parking pass into the big machine by the parkade’s front door and waited for the instruction to insert my credit card. At the machine beside me, a woman muttered to herself as she tried to figure out what to do. Speaking to the machine and waving her credit card in the air in front of it, she asked, “so where am I supposed to put this?”

“It goes here,” I said and showed her the slot which happened to be the same slot the parking pass went into. It wasn’t very well indicated as to its dual purpose.

“Oh thank you,” she said with a sheepish grin. “I’m from Olds. I’m just a country bumpkin.” (Olds is a small town about an hours drive north of the city.)

“I’ve done it too,” I told her. “They don’t mark it very well.”

She smiled and thanked me and we parted.

It is such a simple phrase. “Thank you.” And yet, it can make the heart so light.

Last week, while at the United Way to give a presentation, I was handed an envelope someone had sent me, using the United Way’s address for my contact. It was from a man who was in one of the courses I used to teach at the homeless shelter when I worked there. He had been in a presentation I’d given last spring to at a workplace campaign. In his note he told me how well he’s doing in his life now, and how he thanks me for playing a key role in his moving out of where he was at into his life today. “Keep poking people,” he wrote. “It works.”

I smiled when I got his note. My heart was thankful and my spirit felt bright.

I don’t remember specifically what happened with this man. the details are not important. What is important is the time he took to express his gratitude and the gratefulness my heart feels in receiving his gift. I am grateful that in his remembering me, my heart has been touched by gratitude. Both for the opportunity to make a difference, and to know that difference moved someone to step beyond the boundaries of where they were at, to live free of the past.

We never know what we do or say that will touch someone in a way that will help them open their eyes and see possibility.

Once, when I was in the deep, deep darkness of that relationship that was killing me, a police detective told me that what I was experiencing wasn’t love. “Love doesn’t hurt like that,” he said.

At the time, I wasn’t ready or able to hear his words, but, once the man was arrested and I got my life back, it was his words that gave me the courage to step out from under the darkness of abuse into living freely.

I have never been able to personally thank that detective so instead, I made the commitment years ago, to express my gratitude through acts of service that make a difference in the world. It feeds my heart and lightens my spirit.

It is one of the many blessings of being free. I can choose to be and do in the world more of what I want to have — joy, love, peace, harmony — and let go of the things I don’t want, the things that don’t serve me, or the world, well — regret, sorrow, bitterness, anger…

I am grateful today for the lives I’ve touched and the lives that have touched me — all of them. Because that’s the thing about gratitude, even the touches that hurt have value. Their gift is found in the freedom I know today.

Blessings on your day.

PS. We are hopeful mom will be out of the hospital tomorrow. I am grateful for the amazing care she has received and the kindness and prayers and well-wishes of all of you here, and on FB. Thank you.

What will you carry?

Posted on January 23, 2014 by Louise Gallagher

Art Journal Theme 4: Gratitude

The plumber arrived last night. Again. Finally. With the parts he’d ordered last week that finally arrived.

We have central heating again. Finally. After one week of no boiler. One week of layering up inside the house and limiting our movements to just the rooms where we had heaters running, we are warm and toasty in every room again.

I am grateful.

Not only for the plumbers arrival and the successful repair of our boiler, but also for the electricity that powered up the space heaters C.C. and I plugged in to keep the main level of our home warm.

I am grateful Old Man Winter took a hiatus from wrapping us up in frigid temps and gave us a break of near or above freezing for the past week.

I am grateful it wasn’t bitterly cold and we had to worry about freezing pipes.

I am grateful it was only a week.

Imagine if it was the entire winter. Or that we didn’t have electricity. Or a roof over our heads in the first place.

Imagine if we hadn’t been able to afford to plug in the heaters, or couldn’t cuddle up together and watch TV, or play Crib, or read a book in the relative comfort of space-heater heated rooms.

Imagine.

There are so many things in my life I take for granted. So many things I assume will just be there because they always are. Like electricity. Or a front door that locks. Or a fridge whose light comes on when I open the door. Or hot water running from the tap.

There are so many things I don’t think about. Don’t give any thought to. Don’t pause to say, ‘thank you’ to because they’re just there. They’re just part of my daily world of comfort.

I am grateful for my daily world of comfort.

I was reminded of the importance of gratitude yesterday as I walked from my office to the C-train to take the ride home. Ahead of me, standing on the sidewalk in front of a wellness centre, I saw a man I know from the homeless shelter where I used to work. I sometimes wondered when I saw him there if he ever even saw me. He was often confused, talking to himself, lost in a world of paranoia brought on by mental illness. When I saw him yesterday he was standing outside of a mental wellness centre smoking a cigarette.

He saw me as I approached and smiled. Called out a cheery hello. How nice to see you! Haven’t seen you in a long while.

I stopped to chat. He grabbed my gloved hands in one of his bare hands. His eyes were clear. His face clean shaven. He looked well. His clothes no longer torn and dishevelled. He looked like he was taking good care of himself.

You look wonderful, I told him. And it was true. He looked younger. Healthier. Happier.

He laughed. Yeah. I don’t look like such a bum anymore now do I? And he laughed again. A deep, satisfying roll of mirth that rose up from his belly. I’m living on my own now, he said, before going on to tell me about the meds he’s taking and how they’re really helping. About his apartment and how he’s got people helping him. He smiled and held my hands as we stood chatting on the street. It’s really nice to see you, he said. I’m doing so much better now.

I’m so glad, I replied. It’s nice to see you too.

I don’t miss that place [the shelter] he told me, but I sure am grateful it was there when I needed it. I might not made it if it weren’t for that place. Yup. I sure am grateful.

As we parted I carried his gratitude with me. I carried it as I boarded the crowded C-train and found a spot to stand. I carried it with me as I got on and off the train at each stop to let people get off behind me. I carried it with me as I got off at my stop and walked up the stairs towards the road and pressed the light for the walk signal so that I could cross safely. I carried it with me as I walked down the street towards the car where C.C. sat waiting to pick me up and take me home so that I didn’t have to wait for the bus or walk along the icy sidewalks.

I carried it with me as I walked through our front door and Ellie, the wonder pooch, greeted me with tail wagging and body squirming as she expressed her happiness at seeing me.

I carried it with me as I changed from workday clothes to comfy wear complete with cashmere shawl to keep me warm.

I carried it with me as I answered a text from a girlfriend inviting us for dinner on the weekend.

I carried it with me as I drove to the art supply store to pick up a new canvas to work on this weekend.

I carried it with me throughout the evening as I prepared dinner, filled the dishwasher, washed my face, got ready for bed and climbed under the covers.

And I carry it with me this morning as I sit typing at my desk, the room warmed by central heating flowing through the pipes that carry water from the boiler to every room in our home.

The plumber arrived yesterday and fixed our boiler.

I am grateful.

May I carry gratitude within me throughout the day. In gratitude, I am thankful. In gratitude, I am at peace.

What will you carry?

I Appreciate You because you make life better

Posted on March 8, 2012 by Louise Gallagher

It is a simple act that creates a world of difference.

Tell someone what you appreciate about them.

Ever leave notes for your children or spouse/partner that go something like this…. Don’t forget to put the garbage out. Don’t forget to pick up milk. Don’t forget to do your homework. Don’t eat crackers and cheese on the living room couch!

Ever notice how more often the ‘dont’s’ come into play. How what you requested not happen, happens?

At Choices, the personal development/life skills course I took in April 2006 which I continue to volunteer in as a coach, there is a process called, The Gift I See In You.

Everyday, participants are encouraged to say to the another, The gift I see in you…. and then name that gift. Mothers to their children, sisters to brothers, husbands to wives, give the people in your life a gift, the program encourages, and miracles will happen. They will hear you differently, they will see themselves differently, your relationship will be made different.

And it’s true. Miracles happen when we give people the gifts we see in them, when we tell them what we appreciate about them instead of remind them of the list of don’ts they mustn’t forget.

And here’s the thing about ‘gifts’. They are given without expectation — there is no, now you give me one back because I gave you one. You don’t expect the birthday boy to give you a gift on his special day now do you?

Gifts are the same. Given freely. Given without expectation.

For years, when my daughters and I had finished the Choices we program, we regularly gave each other gifts. It became a playful and loving thing to do every night. We’ve fallen away from gift-giving as life has moved onward and busy-making has replaced conscious connection.

In the Poem a Day to my beloved that I am currently writing, I am reminded of the power of giving words of affirmation. For my partner, the receiving has become an awareness of how beautiful his heart is. And for me, it has shifted my focus from my ‘gripes’ to an appreciation of the grace and beauty in our relationship.

We all like to know, we all like to feel, appreciated.

And, it is so much more affirming to live with an appreciative heart!

Tell someone you love something you appreciate about them today. It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to come from the heart. “I appreciate how you take such good care of our family.” “I appreciate how you came to dinner when you were called.” “I sure appreciate how you cleared the table after dinner.” “I appreciate that you listened to me and didn’t try to fix the problem and instead gave me space to share my feelings.” “I appreciate how you gave up your personal time to complete this project.” “I appreciate your speaking up in the meeting today and championing my idea”…

As Mother Theresa says, “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

In our hunger to ‘have’, let’s not forget to appreciate those who make the love we have so incredibly bright!

Living my 100%

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Louise Gallagher

Winter has come swooping in for a long overdue visit. Temperatures have plummeted into the sub-zero realms of frost-bit warnings and wind-chill factors.

And I am warm inside my home.

I am grateful today for my warm home. For Ellie, the wonder pooch, lying on the floor behind my desk and Marley, the Great Cat, lying on Ellie’s bed. I am grateful for the life that we have created to allow us the luxury of this home. The luxury of our beds. The luxury of the food on our table, the heat that keeps us warm and the roof that keeps the weather from falling down upon us.

I think about the homeless shelter where I worked and know that today will not be a comfortable day for the 1,000 plus people who slept beneath its roof last night. The coming week of arctic chill will cloud people’s abilities to see the possibility of change. Despair will deepen. It always does in intemperate weather. Moods sour. Spirits dampen. And bodies grate up against each other seeking solace and respite from the feelings of ‘what’s the point’ that invade when the temperature plummets. I am grateful there are places like the shelter where people can come in and be safe from the cold.

I am grateful for the sound of water flowing over the waterfall in the fish tank which sits on top of the bookcase to my left and to my friend Dave who gave it to me. . I am grateful for the oceans that are home to countless fish and waterlife.

I am grateful for this day.

I am now entering my third week of ‘A Year of Making a Difference’ and I am learning as I go the significance of gratitude as the foundation of everything I do. Cleaning up someone else’s dog poop in the park is a statement of saying, “Thank you world. Thank you planet earth. I care about you and the people who inhabit this world. I am willing to do my part in taking care of you.”

Shoveling my walk and my neighbours walk is a statement of: “Thank you world. Thank you planet earth. I care about you and the people who inhabit this world. I am willing to do my part in taking care of you.”

It is a growing realization within me. Everything I do is a statement of how much I care — about myself, about others, about this world we share.

When I respond negatively, it is because I don’t care enough to do the right thing, for myself, others, this world we share. When I choose to criticism, complain and condemn, I am hurting myself and the world around me.

I am grateful for this place where I come every morning to focus on the difference I can make in the world when I choose to turn up and pay attention to what I’m doing, thinking, saying and how I’m being in the world.

I am grateful for the growing awareness that I am responsible for the difference I make. No one else can make my difference. I can’t make anyone else’s difference either, just as they can’t make mine. We are each 100% accountable for what we do. We are each 100% responsible for how we express our difference. And in my 100% I am 100% grateful.

I like living at 100% in everything I do.

Namaste.

Caring about others

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Louise Gallagher

There is something different in the world this morning outside my window. It snowed last night. Nothing I do or say or think will change the weather outside my window. The only changes I can effect are within me.

This consciously ‘making a difference’ everyday and writing about it takes concentration. It takes presence. It takes me being aware of my surroundings, my environment and my inner spaces.

As I am no longer employed and setting up my own consulting practice I am networking with people to let them know who I am, where I’m at and what I’m up to.

It is not my favourite thing to do. Networking. I like to believe it will just, happen. And while the Universe is working for me and with me for success to transpire, it requires my active participation to get engaged, be involved in creating more of what I want in the world. It takes me getting out there.

Yesterday, two such opportunities presented themselves — and all I had to do was turn up. Pay attention. Speak my truth and, the most challenging part, stay unattached to the outcome.

A lunch with a brilliant woman lead to an idea for something big, something creative and inspiring and all the things I want to see in the world. We’re building the framework for taking our idea to the next level. We’re creating the environment for change to happen. More on that later.

A coffee with a man I admire greatly lead to opportunities to make a difference. An invitation to participate in a community based initiative transitioning people back into community after addictions treatment, an invitation to create opportunities for change in how the sector serves the community, all of these and more have appeared on my horizon. I am grateful and in my gratitude is the commitment to be an agent of change, to be a steward of creating more of what works, and less of what doesn’t in the world.

And as we sat at coffee, making a difference simplified into the singular act of caring for another human being. A woman at the table behind us stood up to leave. As she gathered her belongings I noticed the middle button of her blouse was undone. Her bra was plainly visible. As she passed our table I interrupted my friend’s conversation and gently called out to the woman. “Excuse me”. She stopped, surprised. She wasn’t sure I was speaking to her. Did she know me?

“I just wanted to let you know your button’s undone,” I told her.

She glanced down, saw the two sides of her green blouse gaping open. Quickly she juggled her purse and belongings to do up the button. “Thank you!” she said, a big smile warming her face. The button connected, she left to go out into the world free of unintentional exposure and my friend and I continued our conversation.

There are opportunities to make a difference everywhere, every moment. And each of them, no matter their grandeur requires one simple act, that I begin with caring about others.

Expect the Unexpected

Posted on January 8, 2012 by Louise Gallagher

Ellie

He is walking towards us at the park where Ellie, my golden retriever, and I walk. It is quiet. Not many people out on this blustery January afternoon, even though the weather is uncharacteristically warm. I am conscious of Ellie’s tendency to want to greet everyone we pass and so I shorten her leash and hold on tightly.

As I have made a commitment to greet everyone we pass on the trail, I smile as we approach each other and say, “Hello.”

I’m not expecting much of a response. He doesn’t look like he’s in the mood for greetings of the Ellie kind so I am surprised when he stops and says hello back and asks if he can say hello to Ellie who is straining at her leash.

I smile and let her bound over to him. At 11, Ellie doesn’t know she’s a senior citizen. She leans into his legs, squirms and groans and makes noises as if to say, “Oh thank you thank you. No one ever pays attention to little ole’ me.”

Ellie is a con artist.

The man laughs, takes off his gloves and rubs her haunches. Ellie is in heaven.

“She loves people,” I tell him.

“I can tell,” he says and then he bends down and looks her in the face and rubs her ears. He looks up at me. “I used to have a retriever. She wasn’t as big as this one. I had to let her go last July.” And he rubs Ellie’s head some more.

She has become uncharacteristically quiet, as if she knows exactly what is needed without my having to remind her to calm down. “It was hard. My wife passed away just before that. Been married 48 years. Kids are all moved away.” And he stands up and looks at me and says, “Not many people stop to say hello out here.”

He places one hand on Ellie’s head as if in benediction. “Thank you,” he says before walking away.

And I don’t know if he’s talking to Ellie or me or his pet who is no longer here or his wife who passed away.

And it doesn’t matter. In our encounter I am reminded. Expect the unexpected. There’s always an opportunity to stop and make a difference, even when you least expect it.