life | Dare Boldly

Thirty-six years ago today, the world was a flurry of icy chills and Olympic anticipation. Calgary, caught in the grips of a Polar Vortex, was buzzing with excitement for the upcoming Winter Olympics. In the midst of this, Alberta nurses were striking, hospitals were navigating through tumult, performing only emergency procedures.

Liseanne, my vibrant youngest daughter, chose this intense backdrop for her grand entrance, arriving two weeks before her due date of February 13 – the very day the Olympics were set to begin. Unlike her sister, whose 3 week-late arrival made me wonder if she’d ever venture out, Liseanne was eager, ready to embrace the world with the fervour of the star athletes descending upon our city.

Her early arrival was my first lesson in the unpredictable joy of motherhood. With my eldest, I was unprepared for the tidal wave of protective love that overwhelmed me. With Liseanne, it was the fierce, unconditional love that made me wish to keep her safe inside me forever. Yet, amidst the nurses’ strike and my impending C-section, Liseanne’s determination won-out. It always does.

I remember that day vividly. My water broke, but I remained silent, helping her father put the final touches on her nursery. It was only after we finished that I called my doctor. “Can I wait until the strike is over?”, I asked him when he said he’d meet me at the hospital – right away. His response mirrored the impending life lesson Liseanne herself would repeatedly teach me: Life doesn’t wait for you to get ready to live. There’s no better time than now.

Liseanne’s entrance into this world was a testament to her indomitable spirit, a trait she has carried throughout her life. She’s always lived with an urgency, a ‘do it now’ philosophy, shining brightly and touching every life in her orbit with her radiance.

Liseanne possesses many superpowers, but her most remarkable is her warrior spirit. She has an innate ability to stand for justice, to uplift the downtrodden, and to infuse joy in every heart she touches. During her school years, it wasn’t unusual for me to hear from her teachers about how she ‘talked back’ – but it was always in defense of a classmate, a stand against injustice or unfair treatment.

Being Liseanne’s mother has been an extraordinary journey. Both she and her sister have taught me immeasurable lessons about love, courage, and resilience. They have been my greatest teachers, showing me the depths and heights of what it means to love and be loved.

As Liseanne celebrates her 36th birthday today, I am filled with immense pride and gratitude. Her life is a beautiful tapestry of strength, compassion, and unwavering commitment to making the world a better place – a world she’s travelled extensively due to her goal of visiting 30 countries by her 30th birthday. Since achieving it, she continues to find new places to go, new adventures to experience, and new goals to accomplish.

It is her way

Happy Birthday, my darling daughter. You continue to be a beacon of light in our lives, guiding us with your wisdom, warmth and humour. The privilege of being your mother is one of my life’s greatest blessings, and I look forward to the continued journey of learning and growing alongside you.

Photos by @ChristieeJames – Thank you CJ for ensuring we carry on Jackie’s tradition of always taking photos of family events and special gatherings!

Morning light dances
River flows endlessly by
Love’s presence endures

Light dances upon the water’s surface, where the river, bordered by ice, flows freely. When my gaze fixates on this dance of light, the river appears deceptively still, a mirage of tranquility amidst its constant motion.

This illusion mirrors life itself. Often, it feels as if time has stalled, yet subtle markers – a passing birthday, a fading memory – remind me that life is in perpetual motion. Nothing remains static. Life, like energy, is ever-moving, evolving, and transforming.

Around this time, four years ago, our family gravitated towards a tender reality – the dimming light in our mother’s life at 97 years old. She sensed her earthly journey nearing its close. She spoke of loved ones lost and a divine presence that had been her constant companion, waiting in the wings to reunite her with them.

In her last days, each breath she took seemed to suspend time. It was as though her breaths could continue indefinitely, even as her heart quieted. After 97 years of what she often described as a life of loss and worry, my wish wasn’t for her to stay but for her to see the legacy of love she wove through life’s tapestry of hardships, sorrows, and joys.

Throughout my life, my mother’s vision was often clouded by darkness, her joy overshadowed by a lifelong battle with depression. I recall, as a child, yearning to craft a bridge of words that could lead us from her tormented moments – like those standing in the kitchen, when she held a knife to her breast and cried threats of self-harm – into a realm of unceasing light.

It took years to understand that I would never be powerful enough to build that imaginary bridge for my mother. And longer still to realize that despite my resilience, darkness touched me too. It was a therapist’s simple question many years ago about my own quiet depression that cracked open my self-awareness, challenging my perceptions and inviting introspection.

Since then, much has shifted. The icy hold on my constant smile has thawed, giving way to authentic emotions. Embracing both joy and sorrow, light and darkness, I’ve grown to love all parts of myself – and my mother. Understanding that to appreciate the light fully, we must also honour the darkness by falling in love with all of it — darkness, light and the shadows between.

Watching the light dance on the river this morning, I saw life’s constant flow – the passage of time, the interplay of light and darkness. And through it all, Love, in all its manifestations, moving unbounded, weaving through every moment, cradling me in the eternal circle of Life woven in time through my mother’s loving hands.