Nick Falvo | Dare Boldly

Three separate yet connected events inspired this post.

An interview on CBC radio, The Current, where several authors including, Neil Parischa, shared the books that changed their lives. Parischa talked about the life expectancy of the average Canadian as being 30,000 days. That got my attention.
On Monday, I co-presented to a group of first year medical students on homelessness in our city. Before the session began, I chatted with a palliative care doctor who has started a program here in Calgary to deliver palliative care to people dying in homelessness. His passion, his commitment to provide care that respects the individual, treats them with dignity and provides them support in their final days was inspiring.
A share on FB of an article on CBC Radio on palliative care in the homeless sector in Toronto. (Thank you @NFalvo )

homeless-graphic

And then, I heard the 30,000 days quote and wondered, what will I do with my remaining days — whatever the number I have left.

What will you do?

By the law of averages, I have used up approximately 2/3rds of my 30,000. Like everyone of my 30,000, the next 10,000 are precious. Filling them with heart-driven purpose is vital to my well-being.

But what about the 2/3rds already used up? How well did I employ them?

Fact is, I cannot change the days past. They are gone. Used up. Spent.

Today is all I have in my bank account. How will I spend it? Because, spend it I must. I can’t save it for a rainy day. I can’t deposit it into some huge cauldron where days not spent are accumulated so that I can get the biggest bang for my buck by using all my days together.

I only have today. How will I fill it with meaning and purpose? How will I inspire the best version of myself today?

How will you?

Here are 3 + 1 ideas to inspire you on living this day of your 30,000 well.

Say ‘Thank you’ to yesterday.

Gratitude is the seed of joy. Be thankful for everything that appears on your path and in your life. No matter how dark or grim, no matter how bright and shiny, be present to the opportunity to experience it by acknowledging everything as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to become. And remember, just because something appears on your path, doesn’t mean you have to keep it there or pick it up or hold onto it forever. It simply means, it’s on your path — what you do with it is your choice. Choose compassionately.

2. Let yesterday go.

Whatever you did, or didn’t do, whatever embarrassing moment, hurt or slight you perceived/received, let it go. Holding onto slights from the past will not improve the quality of your life today. It will only get in the way of living today freely. (And yes, I know. They were mean. They didn’t hear you. They didn’t care for you the way your deserve. You cannot change what happened, just as you cannot change what they did. You can change how you hold on to it, how you respond. Find a way to respond that sets you free of carrying someone else’s stuff.) And if you caused someone pain or hurt, acknowledge it, apologize, make amends, commit to doing better and let it go.

3. Live today free of guilt.

A friend was telling me how they feel so guilty about the fact they have….. and then they listed the beautiful things in their life. Later, another friend was telling me about how guilty they feel about something they’d done to someone else that they knew they shouldn’t have done. They’d already apologized but the guilt was killing them, they said.

Guilt is just a way of staying trapped in the ego. Guilt keeps you roiling around in the past, preventing you from living compassionately, authentically, lovingly in today. Guilt is not your friend. It’s the enemy of joy. It’s the killer of hapiness. Make the decision today to let go of guilt. To get out of your ego’s desire to be the centre of attention (good or bad) and set yourself free to live in this moment right now unburdened of guilt. You can’t change whatever was done to you, or whatever you did. You can change its hold on your joy and appreciation of this moment right now. Let guilt go.

Whatever days we each have, living them as if each one counts is what matters most. Because everyday counts. Every moment creates the possibility of the next being filled with the more of what you want in your life — what ever that is.

Which leads me to the +1 idea.

4. Whatever you do today, make sure it creates ‘the more’ of what you want more of in your life.

Whatever you are faced with today, choose to do the things that bring you closer to your ‘more’. In your ‘more’ is where your passion lives.

I learned a new word yesterday.

I was editing a document for a co-worker and in it, he used the word ‘demogrant’, meaning a grant based solely on demographic principles such as age and/or sex. (source)

I was curious. How many words are there in the English language? Which is what lead me to the realization that words, like population, continue to grow.

As of January 1, 2014, the Global Language Monitor estimate there are 1,025,109.8 in the English language. We surpassed the 1 million word mark in June 2009. The GLM website also states that, “Currently there is a new word created every 98 minutes or about 14.7 words per day.”

However, Oxford dictionaries suggests there’s really no way to tell how many words there are in the English (or any) language. So many words have more than one meaning. Do you count them more than once? What about derivatives? Do they count? The Second Edition of the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary contains full entries for 171,476 words in current use, and 47,156 obsolete words.

It was my curiosity that lead me to the Twinword Blog, and the exam they offer to test your vocabulary. I was relieved to see that I score in the 99th percentile. I was also relieved it wasn’t a math test.

Some brains just don’t do math as well as language. I am one of them. I like words. I relate to them. They make sense. To me, words feel alive. Emotional. Contextual. Substantial. They are an easy and effective way for me to express my thoughts, feelings, ideas, question.

Numbers. They feel cold. Inanimate. Harsh and while they may have substance and context, I don’t get a lot of feelings from words. Unless of course it’s the rapidly declining number in my bank account or the number on my latest VISA bill. That probably will get an emotional response and it won’t be positive.

Years ago, I read somewhere (sorry — I can’t credit the author. I forget — maybe, as my daughters so often tell me, I’d be better off doing a memory test instead of a word knowledge test) that there are 3 attributes to a leader: 1. Curiosity 2. Courage 3. Humility

I like to think my curiosity is an asset. That the journey of learning a new word yesterday sent me off on a voyage of discovery. And while I may not soon be using the word ‘demogrant’ in my daily conversation, my estimated 30,000 – 35,000 word vocabulary gets a good workout everyday. It keeps my brain supple and my mind alive.

I like using words. Doesn’t matter their size, how many consonants, how fat the vowels, I like to express myself through verbal and written use of words. From beginning here every morning using my words to express my thoughts and ideas, to using my words to connect and relate to everyone in my world, language is the tool of my trade. And I like it.

Today, I am grateful for words, the Internet which leads me to so many interesting discoveries right from the comfort of my desk and the ability to make sense of the words I see on the screen. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn new words, stretch my vocabulary and for the fact, I don’t have to use numbers every day. I’m pretty sure banker would prefer I use numbers more effectively, but I’m sure scientists are thankful for my penchant to use words, not numbers. I could really mess with their formulas and equations if I was in charge of the numbers.

With words, I know where I stand. Numbers. Not so much. They sound too much like Latin to me. And though I studied Latin in High School, I have long forgotten most of what I learned.

Dang. There’s that memory thing again.

Maybe my daughters are right! Maybe I’d better go take a memory test and forget about words! But wait! I remember. LUMOSITY, which is more than just the quality or state of being luminous, it’s also a website that has lots of tools to strengthen memory!

Have a great day. Use your words well.

(Thank you Nick Falvo for teaching me a new word and the impetus to take a wordy adventure!)