Tag Archives: self-discovery

Embracing Imperfection. Living Your Purpose

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If I have a recurring self-defeating pattern, it’s the tendency to isolate myself. Trust has always been a challenge, even before a damaging relationship nearly broke me. Recognizing this struggle, when I first went through the Choices program (the precursor to today’s Discovery Seminars) I crafted a personal contract statement: “I am a trusting woman.” This was less about trusting others and more about trusting myself, believing in my resilience in the face of life’s storms to stand centered in my “I” and not be pulled into the winds blowing all around me.

Over time, my confidence grew, and “trusting” evolved into “brave.” Nearly 20 years have passed since I first learned about the transformative power of contract statements, and still, I recognize the power and need to ask myself in times of fear, confusion, uncertainty – or when the critter voice is whispering “Don’t do that. You’ll make a fool of yourself!” — “What would a brave woman do?” . What a gift to have stayed involved in a program designed to support people in breaking through of limiting beliefs and self-defeating games. Through this journey, I’ve gained deeper awareness of my own self-defeating games as I’ve learned to recognize how they limit my joy and power.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of coaching the final Design segment of the Discovery Program, where participants craft their unique Purpose Statements. It’s a joy to witness their “aha!” moments as they uncover their purpose and put words to the difference they not only want to make in the world – the difference they’ve always naturally been making because of who and how they are in this world. Because the truth is, we are always making a difference in the world around us; where we volunteer, where we play, where we work – where ever we are — because it is in our human nature to make a difference.

I say “aha!” moments because sometimes it takes a bit of effort for someone who is accustomed to hiding their light, to see their difference, and the relief that comes with seeing it is tangible! We’re all human, and our subconscious mind often whispers doubts, telling us we’re not enough, unwanted, or less than those around us—those who seem to have it all together in, what appear from the outside, their perfect lives.

But with nearly 8 billion unique individuals on this planet, how can we define “perfect?” We can’t.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

That’s where Discovery Seminars comes in. It’s not about achieving perfection or “getting life right.” It’s about embracing the beautiful imperfection of being human and celebrating our incredible human nature, just as we are.

Since my first experience with the program in April 2006, I’ve coached hundreds of individuals in crafting their unique Purpose Statements. And yet, I continue to learn and expand my own understanding of what it means to be me, the gifts I bring, and the endless possibilities that emerge when I step into my power and shine my light so that I let go of limiting how I live my purpose.

Our world needs each and every one of us to shine our brightest, in our own unique ways, if we’re to dispel the darkness that consumes so many lives.

I invite you to explore Discovery Seminars. You’ll be amazed at what you uncover when you embark on a journey of self-discovery, letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing your inherent beauty and power.

Believe me, the truth is – you are inherently beautiful and powerful!

I am a radiant woman awakening others to their magnificence, beauty, and truth.

Does What You Learned in Your Youth Serve You Today?

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As we grow older, we often realize that some of the lessons and advice we received in our youth don’t serve us as well as we thought. Until we are courageous enough to explore these messages, we may find ourselves repeating patterns that no longer benefit us.

Take my experience, for instance. Growing up, my mother always emphasized being ‘nice,’ even when others were rude or unkind. The underlying message was to never express my true feelings. As a result, I often tolerated unacceptable behavior. It wasn’t until later in life that I learned the importance of setting clear boundaries and speaking my truth with kindness. This not only teaches others how to treat us but also ensures we don’t accept the unacceptable as acceptable.

These early lessons can impact us in many areas of our lives, such as:

  • In Our Relationships: Not being able to speak our truth can lead to resentment and misunderstandings in our relationships. When we suppress our true feelings to keep the peace or be ‘nice,’ we may end up feeling unvalued and resentful. This can create a cycle of dissatisfaction and conflict, undermining the very relationships we are trying to preserve.
  • In Our Schooling: These lessons can keep us underachieving, not reaching our full potential because we don’t believe we’re capable or deserving. On the other hand, they might push us to overachieve, striving for perfection and setting ourselves up for a life filled with constant stress and anxiety.
  • In Our Careers: Not standing up for ourselves or setting clear boundaries can hold us back from achieving the success we desire. We might not advocate for the raises or promotions we deserve, or we might take on too much work to please others, leading to burnout.

The key to breaking these patterns is courage. We need to be brave enough to question and explore these messages from our past. Only then can we begin to reshape them into healthier, more empowering beliefs.This journey of exploration and growth is a key focus of my program, “The ReWrite Journey.” In this course, we delve into our lifelines and explore the values and beliefs we formed based on our experiences. We then examine how the decisions we made in the ‘there and then’ shape our lives and can become limiting in the ‘here and now’ if they are not aligned with our true values. For instance, I believe in kindness, but without setting clear boundaries that respected me, I ended up feeling frustrated and disrespected, because the core underlying belief I’d unintentionally learned in childhood was, ‘my voice doesn’t matter’ Aka – I don’t matter.

By understanding and realigning our beliefs, we can create a life that honours our true values and supports our well-being.

So, there’s the invitation–What’s one piece of advice or wisdom you received in your childhood or teenage years that, in hindsight, turned out to be less helpful or even misguided? How has recognizing and addressing this affected your life? I invite you to share your experiences in the comments below — when we share our courage to be brave and vulnerable, we inspire others to take the journey of growth and self-discovery.

If you’re interested in exploring these concepts further, I invite you to chat with me about “The ReWrite Journey.” I’ve just begun with a new cohort but it’s not too late to join the journey! All things are possible when we uncover the beliefs holding us back and rewrite them to align with our true values, so that we can live a more empowered and fulfilling life.

Discovery Seminars: Are you willing to explore your possibilities?

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Imagine spending five days diving deep into the core of your being, challenging the thoughts and habits that hold you back from joy, growth, happiness, love and so much more.

This past week, coaching at the Discovery Seminars, I did all of that and more. From the lightbulb moments of self-forgiveness to the awakening of personal power and the unfolding of miracles, the journey was full of inspiring moments and transformation.

It all begins for trainees at noon on Wednesday. People walk in with a full spectrum of emotions: reluctance, desperation, hesitation, excitement, and even anger. Some are unsure why they are there or what they are seeking, or have come simply to please their boss or get a loved one of their back. Others are holding onto a last thread of hope they will find a reason to take another next step.

As the days unfold, so dp the stories shared. There are so many moments that stand out for me: someone who walked in skeptical about what was in the room for them realizing their worth. Another finding the courage to release shame by sharing something they’ve never told anyone. Another choosing to forgive themselves; breaking through a barrier that had once seemed insurmountable. These acts of courage and vulnerability became a continuous thread of turning points, transforming the seminar room into a sanctuary of empathy, understanding and loving kindness.

Through guided discussions, reflective exercises, and shared experiences, we delved into the habits and thoughts that trigger unhealthy responses. The process wasn’t just about identifying these triggers but learning how to confront and reshape them.

And then, the fifth day happened. Everything changed. It wasn’t just one event but a culmination of moments, insights, and revelations that led to this transformation. Participants who had walked in carrying the weight of their pasts were now looking forward with determination, their faces and hearts alight with hope. Others found a friend to lean on. Others a shared experience to grow through. Others a glimmer of possibility to take in and nurture its flame.

For me, one of the most beautiful momments is always watching the trainees say goodbye. When a group of strangers gathered on Wednesday, they held themselves separate. Now, in their goodbyes, it’ss clear that the bonds formed were unique and profound. They weren’t just leaving with new friends; they were leaving with a new perspective on life. The power of hope was palpable, urging everyone to not let the lessons fade but to actively apply them in their pursuit of a life free from past regrets and pains.

I spent five days in the Discovery Seminars room last week. I am changed. I am inspired.. I am grateful.

So, here’s my challenge to you:  Are you willing to reflect on the habits and thoughts that may be holding you back? What if… you decided to confront the habits and thoughts that are keeping you playing small in a supportive, transformative environment like Discovery Seminars? What if… you decided living at a 6 isn’t enough — and to find your 8 or 9 or 10, you choose to explore something new? What if… you decided you’re worth fighting for?

Fact is, on Wednesday at noon, few people walk into the Discovery Seminars room eager to dive into the essence of what drives them to do the things they do that keep them falling down, beating themselves up, or playing small.

And yet, on Sunday, people always walk out grateful they did.

The Rewrite Journey – Transforming the stories we tell on ourselves.

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Years ago, I received an invitation to speak at a conference for crisis support workers in the gender-based violence sector. The organizers informed me that my talk would be a part of the ‘Survivor’s Stories’ segment of the conference.

I hesitated. “Thank you, but no thanks,” I replied. “I was a victim of abuse, and yes, I survived. But to label me, or anyone who has endured violence and emerged from it with their life, as a ‘survivor’ denies the truth of who we are and all we’re capable of. I was undoubtedly a victim of his abuse. However, beyond all he did to try to diminish me, I must step into my power by claiming my role as a victor. Victors have agency, power, strength, and courage. Believe me, it takes courage not only to walk away but also to reclaim and rebuild your life after abuse. It takes a victor’s mentality.”

The organizers agreed not to introduce me as a victim or survivor.

I felt victorious.

Each day, life presents opportunities to rewrite the narrative of our lives, to shift the story we tell ourselves and others from victimhood to victory, victim to victor.

What’s your narrative?

What stories do you tell yourself? Do they pave the way for a life filled with fulfillment, abundance, joy, and love? Or do they keep you anchored down in regret, playing small and feeling unfulfilled or worthless?

If it’s the latter, perhaps it’s time to consider rewriting your narrative.

The art of rewriting your narrative is a journey of self-discovery and transformation. It’s a journey where you become both the author and the protagonist—a voyage to rediscover the poetry of your soul and craft a narrative that reflects your true magnificent essence.

In a world that often confines us within predefined roles and expectations, reshaping our stories empowers us to unlock our full potential. Crafting a new story of your life starts with a willingness to shed labels, no matter how comforting or familiar they may be, and to journey unlabelled and unburdened by limiting beliefs that would otherwise hinder you from living life on your terms.

Here are seven steps you can take to rewrite your narrative to tell your victor story.

  1. Self-Reflection and Awareness: Sit quietly. Breathe. Reflect on your life journey, on the stories you’ve told yourself about who you are and what you’re capable of. Identify any negative or limiting narratives that have held you back. Awareness is the first step toward change.
  2. Challenge Negative Beliefs: Once you’ve identified the negative beliefs that have shaped your narrative, challenge them with kindness and curiosity. Ask yourself, “Do these beliefs lift me up or pull me down?” Explore if they’re ‘fact based’ or assumption-riddled or inherited expectations. Replace them with affirming and empowering thoughts.
  3. Set Empowering Intentions: Craft a clear vision of the human-being you want to become. Set intentions that reflect your true desires and values. Define the qualities, strengths, and achievements that resonate with your authentic self. Visualize this new narrative as if it has already become your reality.
  4. Take Action and Embrace Growth: Rewrite your narrative by taking deliberate actions aligned with your new intentions. Step out of your comfort zone, embrace challenges, and welcome personal growth. Every step you take toward your aspirations reinforces your rewritten narrative.
  5. Surround Yourself with Supportive Allies: Seek out a supportive community of friends, mentors, or therapists who can provide encouragement and guidance on your journey. Share your rewritten narrative with those who believe in your potential and can help you stay on track. Their support will bolster your confidence.
  6. Celebrate Your Achievements: As you make progress, celebrate your achievements along the way, no matter how small they may seem. Acknowledge your successes and use them as evidence that your new narrative is becoming a reality. This positive reinforcement can be a powerful motivator.
  7. Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that rewriting your narrative is a process that may involve setbacks and moments of self-doubt. Be gentle with yourself during these times. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that change takes time and effort. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend facing a similar challenge.

Isn’t that Fascinating? I sure think so.

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India Ink and Acrylics on Mixed Media Paper 11 x 14″ Louise Gallagher

In the quiet of the morning…

Leaves rustle
Traffic hums as it crosses the bridge
Birds sing in tree branches
Piano music plays gently in the background
Quietly, softly, I come home to my heart.

Outside my window, the river flows calmly. The BuaffloBerry bush that just a few short weeks ago was only as tall as the fence, now rises up above the railing on our second story deck.

Life flows. I flow with it.

In my heart, joy flows quietly filling in the cracks where life’s hurts have broken it open to experience the pain and wonder of being human.

My heart is stronger for the pain and healing that inevitably follows with the grace of autumn leaves falling and growing back again in spring.

A broken heart is an open heart. An open heart is a loving heart.

I let the joy flow freely, stirring my heart to beat wildly in Love with this life of mine, this world I inhabit, this place I sit in the quiet of the morning.

Yesterday, I played in the studio. I mean played. Really played.

I had no destination. No plan for what I would do. I simply wanted to play and experience the process of colours and ideas flowing. Plus, I had some new India Inks I wanted to try out. In the process, I learned something about myself that is amusing me, and exciting me.

Alcohol Ink on Yupo Paper
11 x 14″
Louise Gallagher

If you’ve been following along on my blog for awhile, you’ll know that I love playing with alcohol inks. I love the vibrancy of the colours, the free-flowingness of the process. The unpredictability of the outcome.

But, here’s the thing. There are only so many pretty paintings of flowers I can create before becoming bored, or at least somewhat tired, of the lack of challenge in the art-making.  (a little self-confession – I was challenged by the flower in the middle when I created this painting. It wasn’t working so I really had to work at creating something out of the big blob it first appeared to be — which I admit, was fun and challenging, but it still became… just another pretty flower painting…)

Because that’s the thing my playdate in the studio taught me yesterday.

I like art-making where I’m challenging myself to create something with more ‘depth’ than what alcohol inks require of me. And yes, I could create ‘real’ paintings of scenes and things with alcohol inks — it’s not the techniques that inspire my imagination. It’s the process of discernment I experience when exploring colour, shape, texture, mood, ideas… that inspires my imagination to leap and my heart to run wild.

India Ink and Acrylic on Mixed Media paper
11 x 14″
Louise Gallagher

The art may not be as ‘appealing’, but the process is definitely more heart-enriching for me.

And so, yesterday I played and deepened my understanding of what makes me tick, not just in the studio, but in life.

I like feeling challenged. I like to feel like I am growing, shifting, experimenting with what I know to expand it into the cracks where I don’t know how strong or resilient I am to discover the more of who I am when I let my heart run wild and my imagination flow free.

I’ve always known I’m an experiential learner. I’ve just never realized, the experience of art-making ignites my soul.

Isn’t that fascinating?

I sure think so.

Namaste.